The Cats' Bill of
Rights
(author
unknown)
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Humans
shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundaries or
prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom of
access, or the right to peaceful assembly. In other words: The cat is entitled to go
outside anytime he wants. |
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A
well-carried provisional chamber, being necessary to the fulfillment of
a feline's whims, shall not be infringed. In other words: The cat is entitled to EAT
anytime he wants.
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The
right of the feline to be secure in their domain and effects against
unreasonable discomposure, shall not be violated. In other words: The cat is entitled to
SLEEP anytime he wants.
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Humans
shall issue no warrants or decrees or edicts as prescribed to the
demarcation of possessions or property which are in direct conflict
with right of life, liberty and the pursuit of feline affirmation. In other words: The cat is entitled to
sleep ANYWHERE he wants.
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The
feline shall be immune to all criminal accusations, indictments and
complaints. The accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and impartial
dismissal of any and all charges provided said feline's compulsory
right to obtain any or all witnesses, including character witnesses,
are obtained in his favor. In other
words: Cats can do anything they want as long as it's cute.
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Neither
serfdom, vassalage, or involuntary servitude will be tolerated, except
by said cats in proprietorship of their humans. In other words: What I say, goes.
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No
Canis familiaris shall, in time of peace or at any other time, be
quartered in any dwelling without the consent of the potentate, nor in
time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by sovereign. In other words: No dogs in the house
without my permission.
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The
right of the feline to be protected against unreasonable search and
seizures shall not be breached or infringed upon at anytime or any
place. In other words: Don't disturb
me when I am sleeping.
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