Compiled by Glenda Moore of CatStuff
Please do not copy or redistribute this article in its entirety

A blate cat maks a prood moose.- Old Scot saying A cat could be man's best friend, but never stoops to it. A cat is _always_ on the wrong side of the door. A cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air. A cat is a four footed allergen. A cat is a friend who will never betray you. A cat is a terrible thing to waste... Drive safely. A cat is all love and energy!!! A cat is always on the wrong side of the door. A cat is an animal who never cries over spilled milk. A cat is an extension of God. A cat is domestic only as far as it suits its own ends. A cat is easier to train than a man A cat is just a bundle of purr. A cat is nobody's fool. A cat is only domestic in so far as suits its own needs. A cat is the universe's way of showing us purr-fection. A cat may look at a King. A cat sleeps fat, yet walks thin. A cat stretches from one end of my childhood to the other. A cat will always sit on whatever you're trying to read. A cat would be man's best friend, but never stoops to it. A cat, the only self-cleaning appliance in the house. A cat's courage is as strong as a dog's chain. A cat's purr is sound of it generating mystery and enigma A cat's purr is the rumble of peace in the animal kingdom. A cats purr is the sound of it generating "cute" A cat's purr is the sound of it generating mystery. A cat's purr: Most effective stress medicine known. A cat's way of keeping law & order is Claw Enforcement. A cat's worst enemy is a closed door. A closed door is an attack on a cat's personal freedom. A dog is a dog, but a cat is a purrson! A happy cat means a happy household. A home without a cat is only a house. A purring cat and a glowing fireplace makes winter bearable. Ack! Phfft! Thptpth! - Bill the Cat Actually, cats are quite good at domesticating humans. After a hard day, it's nice to come home to a warm cat. Ah, I'm sorry sir, the cat's eaten it. All cats are right. All dogs go to heaven. Cats watch them leave. All I need to know I learned from my cat. All of this generosity has made me tired! * Cat An aquarium is interactive television for cats. And on the 8th day, God created cats. And why _did_ cats decide to become domestic animals? Anything not nailed down is a cat toy. Aren't cats just little furry balls of love? As alert as a mouse at a cat show. As anyone who owns a cat knows: no one can own a cat. As busy as a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes. As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."  Bathed the cat--took HOURS to get the hair off my tongue. Better make myself look *big*! -- The Cat Bureaucat: A kitty who sleeps on your undies... C:\pet C:\pet\cat C:\pet\cat\ignore\human Call my cat?! No, I just run the can opener... Can you imagine 1,000 cats agreeing to do *anything*? CAT - (kat') n. Dog with an attitude problem. CAT (n): 1. Furry keyboard cover 2. Alarm clock CAT (n): A walking ego with fur. Cat \kat\ n; small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist Cat + unattended keyboard = garbage all over screen CAT ADVICE: Take some time to eat the flowers. Cat aplomb: Whatever happens, look as if it were intended. Cat are always more sarcastic than dogs. Cat asleep on my shoulders - the ONLY way to wear fur! Cat ate cheese and waited by mousehole with baited breath. Cat bathing is a martial art. Cat bumper sticker: Life is hard, then you nap. Cat fur expands to fill all available drives. Cat Game #1: Hah - made you look! Cat Game #10: Hide and go puke. Cat Game #3: Take up the most room on bed. Cat Game #6: Fit into the smallest space available. Cat Game #7: Hide inside the smallest space. Cat look #1: You might *think* it's your chair but ..... Cat philosophy - when in doubt, cop an attitude! Cat philosophy: I am, therefore give me tuna. Cat philosophy: It doesn't hurt to ask for what you want. Cat quote: "Doesn't take much to entertain a human!" CAT RULE #2: Get plenty of sleep so you can play at 4 am. Cat Rule #3: When fat, arrange self in slim pose. CAT RULE #4: Reserve hairballs for shag carpets CAT RULE #8: Add roughage to human's food by shedding on it. Cat Toy (n): Any object on the ground. Cat! You're so gullible! -- Lister Cat, n. Small mammal with an attitude problem. Cat, n.: Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer. Cat...an attitude in fur! CAT: (n) Walking ego with fur. Cat: a nice animal, frequently mistaken for a meatloaf. CAT: A small furry beast resembling a meatloaf. Cat: Animal that proves eating and sleeping is not ALL bad CAT: Climb your way to the top. That's what drapes are for. Cat: Companion in grace, beauty, mystery, and curiousity. Cat: Ethereal music wreathed in mystery. Cat: Furry alarm clock. Cat: Furry keyboard cover. Cat: I could've SWORN I heard the can opener! Cat: Living poetry. Cat: Murphy's way of saying "Nice Furniture!" CAT: Walking ego with fur. CATALYST n. an alphabetical list of cats. Catastrophe: An award for the cat with the nicest buns. CATFOOD??!!?? You woke me up for a lousy can of CATFOOD??! Catholic (n.) - a cat with a drinking problem. Catlapse: The time between removal from a lap and waking Catnip Research Has Not Kept Pace With Other Sciences. Cats - by Ann Gora Cats *are* the higher purpose of the universe. Cats *can* wait until after 6:00 a.m. to be fed on the weekends. Cats allow man the pleasure of caressing the tiger. Cats ALWAYS have to be the center of attention. Cats are an alarm clock and are obligated to wake the humans. Cats are around to remind us why we need opposable thumbs. Cats are companions. Dogs are slaves. Cats are easier to train than kids! Cats are easy to buy for. Cats are easy to understand... if you're a woman. Cats are excellent at domesticating people... Cats are good company for singles. Cats are good lapwarmers for modemers. Cats are independent, by which I mean smart. - D. Barry Cats are just little bundles of purr. Cats are natural paper shreaders. Cats are NOT clean. Would you bathe in spit? Cats Are PEOPLE Too Cats are purrfect. Cats are required to shred the newspaper to save Mom from it. Cats are room-mates. Dogs are kids. Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."  Cats are so marvelously true to themselves. Cats are the soul of honesty - they hide not their dislikes. Cats are transparent. Cats should sit in front of the TV screen. Cat's aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit! Cats aren't the only species - they just act like it! Cats aren't threatened by a woman with short hair. Cats aren't threatened if you earn more than they do. Cats can catch snowflakes through a closed window if they try hard enough. Cats CAN eat a variety of different kinds of cat food. Cats CAN eat canned cat food in flavors other than tuna. Cats can eat tuna that has not been mixed with Miracle Whip. Cats categorically refuse to perform. Cats come in many varieties...and every one is divine. Cats do not care whether you shave your legs. Cats do not have problems expressing affection in public. Cats do not like beer. Really. Cats do not read at the table. Cats do the most amazing things. Cats don't brag about whom they have slept with. Cats don't correct your stories. Cats don't criticize your friends. Cats don't feel threatened by your intelligence. Cats don't make a practice of killing their own species. Cats don't mind if you do all the driving. Cats don't need any excuses. Cats don't need any excuses... Cats don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization. Cats don't step on the imaginary brake. Cats don't weigh down your purse with their stuff. Cats have not forgotten they were once worshipped. Cats have nothing on dragons for inquisitiveness. Cats have purr-sonality. =^..^= Cats have the simplest of taste: the best is satisfactory Cats have their own lives; get on with yours Cats have to beg for an ice cube everytime someone opens the freezer door. Cats know all the sunny places. Cats know cats will get some human food if patient. Cats know curtains are for climbing. Cats know how we feel. They don't care, but they know. Cats know how we feel. They don't care, but they know. Cats know leaping into the box helps their human pack. Cats know licking or batting the empty food dish around will make food appear. Cats know looking adorable after misbehaving negates their crime. Cats know Mom's black suede gloves are giant tarantulas that need to be killed. Cats know mom's breasts are pillows that need fluffing. Cats know the bed is a WWF wrestling ring. Cats know the box of aquarium supplies in the basement is a litter box. Cats Know Their Rights. Cats know there are Martians hiding in the new drapes. Cats know there is no better to "punish" the human than whizzing on something. Cats leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same Cats look at moths and ax-murderers the same. Cats mean it when they kiss you. Cats miss you when you're gone. Cats must act as if being tortured when being flea-powdered. Cats must act like they are dying of hunger in front of Daddy. Cats must activate "the paw" when there is food within snagging distance. Cats must ask to be (fed/petted/let out) when the humans are making whoopee. Cats must attack another cat when their head is sticking out of the litter box. Cats must attack incoming faxes and chew them so that the humans can't read them. Cats must attack Mom and Daddy's feet while they're making whoopee. Cats must attack mom's ear just because she put them on a diet. Cats must attack the answering machine and purr all over it. Cats must attack their human's shoelaces when she is tying them. Cats must balance their 25 pound body on their human's full bladder. Cats must barf up hairballs on their mom's computer keyboard. Cats must beg for food until they have eaten what already in their dish. Cats must bite their human's feet when she is using the computer. Cats must bite their sister's butt until she hisses. Cats must blame Mom when cat falls in a tub full of water. Cats must bring live snakes into the house. Cats must call Mom's mother-in-law long distance at 2 a.m. Cats must catch and eat lizards. Cats must catch mice to give to the dog to eat. Cats must charge themselves with static electricity and zap their sleeping Dad at 2 am Cats must chase the humans while they are carrying a full laundry basket. Cats must chase the other invisible cats across Dad's belly and groin. Cats must chew holes in the bags of clean kitty litter and spread it on the floor. Cats must chew on the antennae of the cordless phone. Cats must chew the buttons off mom's bathrobe. Cats must claim the cream cheese and lox bagel on the kitchen table as their own. Cats must claw a hole in the sofa/box spring to make a nest. Cats must climb into their Daddy's dropped briefs while he is sitting on the toilet. Cats must climb on top of the fridge and knock the magnets off the front. Cats must climb the wallpaper in their human's new house. Cats must climb their human's leg to get tuna fish or pancakes. Cats must cling to the outside of the screen door at eye level howling. Cats must commence biting their human's toes when she exits the shower. Cats must crawl into open suitcase to help Mom pack. Cats must crawl into the dishwasher when it is full of clean dishes. Cats must cuddle mom's dress shoes and drool in them. Cats must destroy a toy the first time they play with it. Cats must display their worm collection on the kitchen floor on a rainy night. Cats must drag dirty socks out of the laundry basket and bury them in the litter box. Cats must drag dirty socks up from the basement in the middle of the night. Cats must drag Mom's knitting around the house, unravelling it in the process. Cats must drag the apple peels out of the garbage to play with them. Cats must drag their butt on the carpet after exiting the litter box. Cats must drink the bathwater while their human is taking a bath. Cats must drool in their sleeping human's ear. Cats must eat all of mom's plants and then barf them up while Mom is not home. Cats must eat all random things they find on the floor. Cats must eat all the baby's breath out of mom's birthday bouquet. Cats must eat fine Swedish tapers like they're candy canes. Cats must eat mom's make up. Cats must eat styrofoam meat trays and then barf up white bingies. Cats must faithfully chase the cursor around the screen. Cats must fall asleep on Mom's back or chest. Cats must fart in front of mom's friends. Nobody ever believes it is the cat. Cats must groom Daddy at 2 am. Cats must groom the back of mom's neck. Cats must groom their private parts in front of company. Cats must groom their private parts while their humans are trying to eat. Cats must growl and hiss at the German Shepherd next door causing him to pee. Cats must gulp down their dinner at lightning speed, and then barf it up. Cats must gut their Bill Clinton catnip doll on the living room rug. Cats must hack up a *huge* hairball on mom's brand-new futon. Cats must have one of the freshly-baked cookies cooling on the table. Cats must have urine wars with the new cat in the house on the kitchen counter. Cats must head butt the control pad/joystick when the human is 10 seconds away from winning. Cats must help Mom with the jigsaw puzzles. Cats must help their sister "recycle" her barfed-up food. Cats must hide Grandma's $35 prescription eyedrops. Cats must hide in the kitchen drawers and jump out at Mom. Cats must hiss and spit at the vet because it pleases their Mom greatly. Cats must hold the pen in their mouth while their human is trying to write. Cats must hook a claw into mom's nostril to wake her up on weekends. Cats must ignore their new toy only to suddenly find it interesting at 3 am. Cats must interfere with the broom when their human is sweeping the floor. Cats must jump into mom's lap while she is breast-feeding the small human. Cats must jump into the chair after their human gets up to do something. Cats must jump into the refrigerator every time Mom opens it. Cats must jump off the top of the cat tree onto the bed and/or its occupants. Cats must jump on mom's lap immediately prior to the commercial breaks. Cats must jump on the break key when their human is on the modem. Cats must jump on the furniture refinishing project. Cats must jump on the kitchen counter and make off with the roast chicken. Cats must jump on the table to eat cantaloupe if no one gives them a piece. Cats must jump on the toilet seat just as their human is sitting down. Cats must jump onto Dad's stomach when he is taking a nap. Cats must knock Mom's Cheerios off of her spoon as she brings it to her mouth. Cats must knock over the kitchen garbage can to get at the chicken bones. Cats must knock over the stacks of CDs. Cats must knock pennies off the nightstand at 3 am in order to get Mom's attention. Cats must knock the area rugs all over the hardwood floor. Cats must knock the brush Mom uses on me into the garbage can just because. Cats must knock the kitchen trash can over EVERY NIGHT scavenging for scraps. Cats must knock the phone off the hook just to hear the neat BEEP-BEEP-BEEP noise. Cats must knock their toys under the refrigerator. Cats must knock things off the coffee table so they can lie down more comfortably. Cats must leap from great heights on to their seated human's genital region. Cats must leave paw prints and hair on the toilet seat. Cats must lick all the glue off of all of the envelopes. Cats must lick mom's eyes while she is trying to sleep. Cats must lick the cheese from the grater when the human's back is turned. Cats must lick the faucet to encourage their human to turn on the drinking water. Cats must lick the other cat's behind in front of Mom and her friends. Cats must lick their human's armpits while she is sleeping. Cats must lick then bite their mom's legs when she comes out of the shower. Cats must lie directly behind their human when she is putting on her makeup. Cats must lie down with their butt in the human's face. Cats must lie next to their human's ear and purr loudly. Cats must lie on clean laundry just after its been folded. Cats must lie on their human's face in the middle of the night. Cats must lie on their human's girlfriend's chest with their butt in her face. Cats must lie under the coffee table and hiss at all of mom's guests. Cats must lurk under the bed and pounce on the unsuspecting human's feet. Cats must make puddles in the ashtray. Cats must make snowflakes out of a whole roll of paper towels. Cats must meow pitifully when their humans are having sex. Cats must meow to be let out when there is a foot-plus of snow on the ground. Cats must need to use ALL the kitty litter to bury their poop.

Cats must not beat the dog up because he's stupid. Cats must open all the presents before Christmas. Cats must open the breakfast muffins box and only eat one bite out of each. Cats must pee down the back of the television, causing its innards to short out. Cats must pee in the hole in the carpet where the key to the gas fireplace goes. Cats must pee on Mama's boyfriend's wallet when they have an argument. Cats must peel and eat the raw potatoes that are in the basement. Cats must perform plastic surgery with their claws upon their mom's face. Cats must play "Charge of the Light Brigade" with the other cat in the hallway at 3 am. Cats must play "find the mouse" on the bed at midnight. Cats must play "hockey" with a shampoo cap in the bathtub in the wee hours of the morning. Cats must play attack cat in the middle of the night when Mom moves in her sleep. Cats must play attack Daddy's toes when cats want to be fed in the morning. Cats must play in the toilet and get the seat wet so Mom will yell at Daddy. Cats must play the game "tiger attack" when Mom is weeding the garden. Cats must play trapeze artist on the curtain rods. Cats must play with the ribbons when Mom is wrapping Christmas gifts. Cats must play with their new rubber ball in the bathtub at 3 am. Cats must pounce on the sheets and crawl under them when Mom is making the bed. Cats must press the buttons when the human is on the phone. Cats must pull dirty socks out of the laundry basket and leave them on their Mom's pillow. Cats must pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. Cats must push the VCR off the top of the TV. Cats must put their head in their human's mouth while he is trying to eat. Cats must put their paw in Mom's mouth to get food out while she's eating it. Cats must put their paw into the boiling water to snag a cooking shrimp. Cats must put their tail/paws in places where they can be stepped on. Cats must raid the ashtray for used pipe cleaners. Cats must refuse to eat their food until it has been piled into a pyramid shape. Cats must remove mom's stuffed bear from her dresser and kill it EVERY SINGLE DAY. Cats must reset their human's alarm clock by walking on it. Cats must ride on the string mop while Mom is cleaning the floor. Cats must rush out from behind the couch and bury their claws in Daddy's leg. Cats must shred the kitchen sponge all over the carpet. Cats must shred the newspaper while someone is reading it. Cats must shred the packaging on all prepackaged food so that they can do a taste test. Cats must sink their claws into Mom's shoulder to get better traction for a jump. Cats must sit in mom's pants/underwear when she is on the throne. Cats must sit on Mom's hand and purr while she is using the computer. Cats must sit on the key marked "Del". Cats must sit on the newspaper while Daddy reads it in the bathroom. Cats must sit on top of the kitchen cabinets playing 'vulture'. Cats must sit under the table and beg for scraps while clawing at Grandma Ethel's socks. Cats must slam-dunk their tail into mom's first and *only* cup of coffee in the morning. Cats must sleep in the middle of the bed. The corners are not as comfy. Cats must sleep INSIDE the back cushion of the sofa. Cats must sleep on Dad's face & lick his nose while he tries to sleep. Cats must sleep on their human's freshly washed and waxed car. Cats must sleep under the blanket on the couch so that people can sit on them. Cats must slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium. Cats must slurp the human's iced tea, whether she's looking or not. Cats must smurgle on Mom's $120 Polartec sweatshirt. Cats must spray mom's brand new $400 bread maker. Cats must spray the kitchen garbage can. Cats must stare at the humans while they are making whoopee. Cats must steal Mom's Cheetos and leave them all licked but not eaten on her bed. Cats must steal the olives/mushrooms/cheese off the human's pizza. Cats must steal the roast pork out of mom's fried rice bowl. Cats must steal the scrub pad from the sink and drag it all over the house. Cats must step in mom's *open* contact lens case. Cats must step on the 'alt', 'cntl', and 'delete' keys simultaneously. Cats must stick their paw into mom's mouth while she's sleeping. Cats must stick their paws under the bathroom door when it is closed and snag anything. Cats must stick their tail in the little human's lollipop. Cats must stomp on the stereo remote and increase the sound level to 120 decibels. Cats must suck on the afghan/sweater Mom is trying to make. Cats must supervise the human when s/he is working at the kitchen counter. Cats must supervise the painting of the guest room. Cats must teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner. Cats must tear into the bag of cat food just to see if it the same as what is in their dish. Cats must terrorize their older and less active feline roommate. His tail is a toy. Cats must toggle mom's word processor from insert to overtype mode. Cats must topple the spice rack going for the catnip. Cats must toss their poop out of the litter box and play hockey with it. Cats must track kitty litter all over the apartment. Cats must trample their paws on Daddy's keyboard when he is e-mailing. Cats must trip Mom or Daddy on the way to the kitchen. Cats must try to bat a sandwich or Fudgesicle out of mom's hand. Cats must try to bite Mom's pen when she is writing. Cats must try to climb on the human's lap when he/she is using the laptop computer. Cats must try to dig to China from their litter box. Cats must try to kill the curlicues of ribbon on the finished packages. Cats must try to nibble the comb/brush when their Mom grooms them. Cats must try to pick fights with cats looking in the house through a door or window. Cats must try to taste the gerbils when Mom is holding one. Cats must turn on the toy train at 5:00 am and watch it. Cats must turn over every glass just to watch the liuid pool. Cats must unroll all the toilet paper off the roll. Cats must use car windshields as slides when cats have muddy feet. Cats must use mom's brand NEW overstuffed sectional as a giant scratching post. Cats must use mom's new leather purse as a litter box. Cats must use mom's perfume bottles for bowling pins. Cats must use the garage roof as a litter box. Cats must use the keyboard as a springboard trying to catch the pretty flashing cursor. Cats must use the ninja kitty paw strike to snag mom's dinner entree for theirself. Cats must use their female human's chest as a springboard. Cats must use their litter box in full view of all mom's dinner guests. Cats must wake Mom up in the morning by dropping a coffee maker on her head. Cats must wake their human up at 3 am for breakfast. Cats must walk in on a dinner party and commence licking their butt. Cats must whine (with their mouth full) if they get dry food instead of canned. Cats must wrestle Mom to the floor for chocolate. Cats must yowl during Dad's bagpipe records. Cats need to be petted *every* time the cat eats. Cats need to check Daddy's aim in the bathroom. Cats need to climb into EVERY box in the household. Cats need to hiss at every visitor to make them feel at home. Cats need to kill the kibble by batting it around the kitchen. Cats need to sample the contents of every pot on the stove. Cats need to wake Mom up at 3:00 am by chewing on her head. Cats obsess about you as much as you obsess about them. Cats often chase things that their person can't see. Cats rule and dogs drool! - Sassy Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. Cats should not drink Martinis. Cat's teach us tolerance....and how to see through walls. Cats understand if some of their friends cannot come inside. Cats will watch Mom change the litter box and then deliberately go poop in the corner. Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse. -- Heinlein Cats. Earth's most purrfect lifeform. Cats: God's way of telling you your furniture is too nice Cats: Good for dusting high places. Cats: Great for earmuffs, tiny throw rugs, and slippers. Catscan - a hi-tech device for examining cats. Catskill Mountains: The land of dead mice. Choosy cats prefer Microsoft mice, 10 to 1 Civilization is defined by the presence of cats. Computer and TV screens exist to backlight a cat's lovely tail. Continually stepping on mom's bladder at 4 am is the best way to get attention. Daddy's privates and a cat's springy cat toy are interchangeable. Death to fleas that prey upon the lifeblood of my cats! DeliCATe: A dainty kitten who likes kosher. Demolition Derby is a cat-oriented pastime. Did someone say fish? I haven't been fed all day. Do Cheshire cats drink evaporated milk? Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer Does a radioactive cat have 18 halflives? Dogma? I prefer Catma, they cost less to feed. Dogs and cats living together, real wrath of God type stuff. Dogs answer when called - Cats let the machine get it. Dogs come when called... Cats have answering machines Dogs come when called; cats have unlisted numbers! Dogs see God in their owner. Cats see God in a mirror. Dogs think they're human. Cats know they are. Don't ask me...the cat's in charge around here. Don't ask. - Cat Door: Something a cat wants to be on the other side of. Easy as teaching cats to march. Every dog has his day, but the nights belong to us cats! Everybody wants to be a cat! Everything I need to know, I learned from my cat. Felicity: A town inhabited by happy cats. Furball - a game cats like to play on the floor Get all the catnip you can. Go away, cat. You make me smile too much. God bless us cat lovers. God said "Let there be cats!" He disappeared, like the cat in that Russian story.- Chekov Heaven will not ever Heaven be, unless my cats are there to welcome me. He's a cat of many mistakes; a man of faux pas.... He's a few cats short of a litter. Home of the Superconducting Kitty Collider. How come our cat runs the house but pays no bills? Human (n): Useful domestic animal popular with cats. Humans exist so cats will have someone to pet them. Humans need fresh, wiggling gecko tails deposited on or in the bed at 3 am. Humans: Creatures subservient to cats. I am Cat of Borg. We will assimilate your shiny things. I am in total control, but don't tell my cat. I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse. I could have more fun in cat litter. I don't do mornings." - Garfield the cat I fed some lemon to my cat and now I have a sour puss. I have a watch cat! Just break in and she'll watch. I have my cat's permission to use the computer. I interfaced my cat to my radio. I just got hiss. I love cats. On a good night, I can eat 5 or 6 of 'em. I understand cats, men are the mystery! I was a cat in my other lives. If cats and dogs can live together, why can't men and women? If evolution were a fact then cats would use can openers. If guests arrive for Christmas, cats must disappear for the next week. If you underestimate protocol, you've never had a cat. If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat. If you would know a man, observe how he treats a cat. If you would know a man, observe how your cat treats him. I'm busier than a cat in a Litter Box!!! I'm claiming all of this as mine! -- The Cat I'm the boss.My cat said so!! In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats. In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats. In a lifetime, the average cat sheds 14.95 lbs. of fur. It took my cat a month to fully train me. It works better if you plug it in -- unless it's the cat. It's 11:00pm...do you know what your cats are shredding? It's a cat book. You sniff the lines! * Cat It's always darkest before you step on the cat. iT's HARd to tYpe wHiLE holdINf a Cat! It's the cat's house; I just pay the rent. I've a cat in my lap and I can't get up! Managing senior programmers is like herding cats. Managing software engineers is like herding cats. Men don't like cats because cats are cooler than they are. Meow culpa. - Something you'll never hear from a cat. Mmmmmm, something smells good! It's me." * Cat My cat walks all over me! :* :* :* :* My dog thinks he's human.. My cat thinks he's GOD! Never trust a smiling cat. Never try to out stubborn a cat. Never try to outstubborn a cat. Nice kittens give you time to clot between attacks. No favor can win gratitude from a cat. No time spent with a cat on your lap can be considered waste NO! to a cat means Not while I am looking. None of your 87 cats lower the toilet seat either. Nothing the cats do surprises me anymore. One cat just leads to another. One small cat changes coming home to an empty house to coming home. Outrageous! Does your cat put YOU out at night? People don't own cats, cats own people. People who hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. PURR if you love cats Purring....the sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness. Purring: automatic safety-valve for happiness overflow. Purrinoia:fear that the cat is up to something. purrpetmeorIscratchyoureyesoutpurr - common feline term Purvey: The sound made by an overwrought Jewish cat. Science asks "How?" Philosophy asks "Why?" Cats don't care. Self, self, self, self, self!" -- The Cat Singing to the cat on the other side of the front door is a good thing at 2 am. Sleeping is my third favorite thing! -- The Cat Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil and cruel. True, and they have other fine qualities as well. Taglines are like cats, you only think you own them. Taglines are like cats. You just think they're yours. Thank God cats don't have opposable thumbs! That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner. The "poor cat in the rain" look. It never fails. The best kind of cat toy has a person on one end. The black animal with white stripes is a plaything. The cat has too much spirit to have no heart. The cat is domestic only as far as it suits its own ends. The cat is, above all things, a dramatist. The cat lets me live here. The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. The cat that ate the ball of yarn....had mittens! The cat thinks she can type better than I can. The cat was created when the lion sneezed. The cat was created when the lion sneezed. - Arab Myth The Cat, ethereal music wreathed in mystery. The cats let us live here. The cat's the only cat who knows where it's at! The four cat food groups: Dry, Canned, Natural, Yours. The great open spaces where cats are cats. The great open spaces where cats are cats. - Marquis The human's food is meant to be shared with the cat. The mice may have the right but the cat has the claws. The more people I meet, the more I love my cats.... The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on. The other cat's food is automatically preferable to their own. The pillow on the bed belongs to the cat. The scalded cat fears even cold water. The Thanksgiving turkey, the baloney, and other deli meats belong to the cat. The toilet is a good place from which to drink water. There ain't room to cuss a cat here w/out gettin' fur in your mouth! There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. There is no such thing as "just a cat". There is no such thing as an ordinary cat. There's no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. This tagline guarded by attack cat! Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. Time spent with cats is never wasted. To start your cat collection, simply open a can of tuna. To the old cat, the tender mouse. Toilet paper exists so that cats can shred it into little bits. Two cats are a circus, three a coup, six a revolution. Typos? Blame my cat. Useless Invention: Cat flap for the fridge. When Daddy is cleaning the gutters, cats must nap on the ladder steps. When sharing a bed, cats need the three-quarters nearest the wall. Who knows the mind of a cat? You look like you've been in a fight with a wild cat. You must tell her she is a pretty cat, and a good cat. You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat. You're not a real person until you're ignored by a cat.