Chapter 15 - Further Achievements
Of
course, his well-known modesty prevents him from listing all
of his achievements. However, a few which were not mentioned
earlier include the facts that:
As honorary Conductor of the Mongolian National Symphony, he
created the classic rendition of Beethoven's Fifth converted to
rap and performed by Pavaroti and Prince.
He plays bluegrass cello, and was scouted by the Mets, the Red Sox
and the Toronto Maple Leafs to provide inspirational music to the teams.
He is the subject of numerous PBS
documentaries. Indeed, his invention of the jukebox, which
he created in order to share his many musical compositions,
advanced the cause of music by several orders of magnitude.
When bored, he builds large suspension bridges in
his yard out of toothpicks, wooden matches and duct tape. He enjoys urban hang gliding.
Last summer he toured New Jersey with a traveling
centrifugal-force demonstration that outdrew the Rev. Dr. Billy
Graham. He bats .600 in both baseball and softball and maintains
a league bowling average of 277.
His deft floral arrangements of poison ivy and poison oak have earned him
fame in international botany circles. Children and animals trust him.
He can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly
accuracy. He once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David
Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire
dining room set that evening. He knows the exact location of
every food in the supermarket.
He balances, weaves, dodges, frolics, and all his bills are paid.
On weekends, to let off steam, he participates in full-contact
origami. Years ago he discovered the meaning of life but forgot
to write it down. He did, however, determine that, to the man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
For a personally autographed and inscribed GIF of this
magnificent wonder known as Bob Miller, send only $14,562.50 (to
cover postage and handling only) to P.O. Box 1287438-1/2,
Tashkent, Turkmenistan.
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