Politically Correct
Cat Definitions
(author
unknown)
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The
cat does not barf hairballs; he is a floor/rug redecorator. |
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The
cat does not break things; she helps gravity do its job.
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The
cat does not fear dogs; they are merely sprint practice tools.
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The
cat does not gobble; she eats with alacrity.
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The
cat does not scratch; he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
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The
cat does not yowl; he is singing off-key.
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The
cat is not a "shedding machine;" she is a hair relocation stylist.
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The
cat is not a "treat-seeking missile;" she enjoys the proximity of food.
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The
cat is not a bed
hog; he is a mattress appreciator.
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The
cat is not a
chatterbox; she is advising me on what to do next.
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The
cat is not a
dope addict; she is catnip appreciative.
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The
cat is not a lap
fungus; he is bed selective.
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The
cat is not a
pest; she is attention deprived.
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The
cat is not a
ruthless hunter; she is a wildlife control expert.
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The
cat is not evil;
she is badness enhanced.
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The
cat is not fat;
he is mass enhanced.
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The
cat is not lazy;
he is motivationally challenged.
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The
cat is not
underfoot; she is shepherding me to the next destination, the food dish.
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