Similarities Between
Teens and Cats
(author
unknown)
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For all of you with
teenagers or who have had teenagers, you may want to know why they
really have a lot in common with cats:
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Neither
teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
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No
matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane
efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting
on them hand and foot.
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You
rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human
being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right
mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
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Even
if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen
will ever crack a smile.
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No cat or teenager
shares you taste in music.
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Cats
and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without
moving, barely breathing.
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Cats have nine lives.
Teenagers carry on as if they did.
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Cats and teenagers
yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human
ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
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Cats and teenagers do
not improve anyone's furniture.
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Cats that are free to
roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the
night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above
that sort of behavior.
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Thus, if you must
raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but
veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at
hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put out the food and
do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up
their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and
comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.
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