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THE DYSTOPIC AMERICA TEST

Descriptions of All Dystopias

September 10, 2005

ANARCHY

It's every man for himself in the America of Tomorrow. Controls on individuals and business have broken down, and everybody uses the advancing technology for his or her own gain. Business are cutthroat and corrupt, government is practically non-existant, and religion has retreated into the recesses of society. For those who have the drive and the sheer meanness to get ahead at the expense of all others, this is a wonderful society, but pity the poor soul who has any sort of conscience. Welcome to the cruel, chaotic future, and consider yourself lucky if you make it to 30!

FRAGMENTATION

Society is a lot smaller. With the failure of energy sources, technology collapsed and those who survived the resulting civil wars have retreated into the country. Institutions of social control, such as government, large corporations, and large religious groups have ceased to exist. Cities have depopulated, and farms have replaced suburbs. It is an every man for himself culture out there, where people seize and hold onto their land through force of arms until the situation stabilizes a bit. The United States now consists of small, loosely-organized communities which barely produce enough food for themselves. Many starve, and with the collapse of transportation networks it is impossible to move food surpluses from one region to another. Welcome to the past. Only, the future will be worse than the past. In the new dark age, you will struggle to survive and die young. Enjoy!

SOCIALIST PARADISE

Welcome to the future. After decades of corporate excess, the workers got mad and brought down big business. Big government is now in control, and people still work hard in factories and offices for very little money. Health care is universal, but of the poorest quality. There is a huge social welfare system, but the bureaucracy eats up so much money that there is little left for the people. High taxes keep the workers poor, and welfare is so inadequate that the unemployed are also poor. Corrupt government officials build huge palaces with their ill-gotten gains. Religion might encourage rebellion, so it is discouraged but grudgingly tolerated, and the schools attempt to wring it out of the minds of children before they reach adulthood. Welcome to the future, comrade. In this worker's paradise you will work harder and make less than you ever did under capitalism. Have a rotten day!

HIPPIE PARADISE

It is the future, and the hippie movement is alive and well. Energy reserves have run out and technology has collapsed, so people have gone back to the land. Capitalism and its technology have been thoroughly discredited, and everyone has gone out into the country to live in communes. Central government is nearly dead, so the communes have a great deal of autonomy. Free love reigns, and people discuss philosophy while they toil in their fields. Wonderful, isn't it? Well, not quite. The egalitarian philosophy has its flaws. Without effective leadership, some of the communes become unproductive and millions of people starve. People grow pot rather than food and they starve to death as they sit around, naked and stoned, contemplating their navels. Anyone who tries to take charge is immediately sent out of the commune; since all are equal, there shall be no leader. Welcome to the America of Tomorrow, where you will be among a motley group of stoned, half-starved hippies. Welcome to Utopia!

CORPORATOCRACY

Big business is king in the America of Tomorrow. Fusion power has made available a limitless energy source, and corporations have made full use of it. Waves of terrorism and invasions have frightened the public, and they have turned to the only efficient organizations - large corporations - to protect them. The corporations now control the country; they have dispensed with the formality of democracy, and the country now has a CEO rather than a President. All people are assigned to workplaces based on their skills, and they are not allowed to quit or move without express permission from the Company. Offices and factories provide housing, food, and health care on site so people never need to leave the workplace. They work most of their waking hours, seven days a week, until they get too old or sick to work. Then, since the corporate machine no longer needs them, they are killed and their bodies are sent to rendering plants. Religion is, of course, illegal since it might foment rebellion. Anyone caught engaging in religious ritual is summarily executed and sent to the rendering plants. The same fate awaits anyone who expresses the slightest dissatisfaction with work, and union organizers are handled especially harshly. Welcome to the future, and get to work, you slacker, or off to the rendering plant with you.

WARLORD SOCIETY

Welcome to Somalia on a grand scale. Energy supplies have dwindled, and the large, centralized society has collapsed. People have gone to the country, where due to security breakdowns brought on by invasions, terrorism, and civil war, the people have looked to warlords for safety. The United States is no more, and the country has been carved up into numerous little fiefdoms. The warlords don't really care about religion or social justice, although they will suppress any religious groups that appear to threaten them. Within each fiefdom, it is every man for himself, except that no one will dare cross the warlord. The warlord's family and friends control everything, leaving little or nothing left for the rest of the people. Many starve, and many more serve in the warlords' militias, where they extort money and goods from whomever they can in order to eke out a living. Welcome to the future, and it is hell, unless you are a warlord. But if you are, you will die young. Warlords are overthrown and replaced all the time.

POLICE STATE

March, march, march. You will be doing a lot of marching in the America of the future. A highly paranoid, militarized, socialistic dictatorship awaits you. The mechanisms of production are firmly in the hands of the state, which is guided by a Fearless Leader, paranoid as can be and mistrustful of the people but dependent on technology. Working behind the scenes are cadres of evil geniuses ever busy inventing new technologies to control the masses. Basic needs, such as health care, food, and housing, are provided for in an efficient manner, but the quality is poor. People must live and work where they are told; no individual initiative is tolerated. Religion is banned; only the religion of the state is permitted. Nonconformists are treated harshly, and a massive secret police apparatus is constantly on the lookout. Cameras and recording devices are installed in all places, public and private, and hordes of security officers monitor the recordings at all hours of the day. All people are members of the military reserve, and they are called up frequently to train, invade countries, or quell rebellions. Welcome to a future which makes North Korea look like a walk in the park. March!

AGRARIAN COMMUNISM

Pol Pot would be proud. His vision has been carried out on a grand scale, and in the land of his old enemy, the United States of America! Technology was discredited when energy ran low, and as standards of living plummeted, people turned to a charismatic leader with a grand vision of returning to the land and thriving in a land of milk and honey. Security problems and rebellions caused an explosion of paranoia, and the government clamped down. Anything which might cause disloyalty was quashed. Religion, the educational establishment, and private business were all shut down. This leaves a country of nothing but massive collective farms, staffed by inexperienced people who were forcibly uprooted from their previous lives. The individual is meaningless; only the collective matters. The inefficiency of the system causes mass starvation, but the security apparatus of the government is so strong that it keeps a lid on rebellion. Tens of millions die in the first few years, and the entire country slides into abject poverty. Welcome to the future! I hope you liked the Khmer Rouge, because you will become a slave to its successor.

RIGHT-WING SOCIETY

If you like George W. Bush, you will love the future. Technology has continued to advance, thanks to cheap energy from fusion power, and capitalism is even stronger than ever; workers have fewer rights than they did in the 1890's. Isn't America great! And to top it off, religious revival has returned the country to a strong moral footing. No longer is there any abortion or pornography. Women are back in the home where they belong, and those awful gays are firmly back in the closet. The Ten Commandments are posted everywhere and God is firmly in control over the schools. Evolution is just a distant memory in these days when everyone knows that the earth is 6,000 years old. Attendance at religious services is not technically mandated by law, but those who do not attend are subject to severe discrimination. The CEOs of the big companies are cutthroat capitalists who are also good Evangelical Christians, and they don't want any evil non-Christians working for them. Welcome to the future - Dubya's dream land. I hope your faith is strong.

PURITAN SOCIETY

The America of Tomorrow is a dreamland (or nightmare-land) of farms and churches. Imagine 17th-Century Massachusetts spread through the entire country, and far more religious, and you have an idea of what is in store. With the demise of energy sources, technology is no longer as important as it once was and people have returned to agriculture. The social dislocations resulted in a mass religious revival, and Christianity has taken over government at all levels. Of course, the local level is more important now since the lack of technology prevents the federal government from operating efficiently. Christianity has driven out society's perceived moral ills and has encouraged everyone to return the land and reap the bounty of the earth. America is not unlike Massachusetts of the 1600's, except that the right-wing religious organizations are even more powerful, and they will see to it that no social progress is ever made again. Gays, atheists, and non-Christians have been rounded up and "re-educated" or killed. Nobody will ever threaten the supremacy of Christianity again! Welcome to the future, in which society must stand still. I hope you brought your Bible. And be sure to get a good seat at the next witch-burning.

CHRISTIAN SOCIALIST

Welcome to the future, where you will find Jesus-lovers everywhere. Jesus told us to help the poor, right? The excesses of capitalism resulted in a massive religious revival and a powerful surge of socialist philosophy. Imagine that Jesus meets Karl Marx, and you will have the right idea. Churches now control all of the businesses, and they redistribute wealth to the poorest in society through a wide range of religious charities. The usual socialist inefficiencies are well in evidence, and living standards are not so high, but people feel solace in their love for Jesus. Of course, they hate anyone who does not accept Jesus, so non-Christians, gays, evolutionists, and pornographers are ruthlessly persecuted in the name of God's love for all humanity. Isn't religion wonderful! Welcome to a future in which you will be smothered by the love of Jesus. Bring your Bible - you will need it!

CHRISTIAN AGRARIAN

The future is a Christian communitarian paradise! Socialism, religious revival, and a back-to-the land movement have returned America to a collection of small agricultural towns, not unlike in the 1800's, except that a strong socialist streak has taken hold. Central government is weak, but local governments are strong and they are led by religious elders. The system is not unlike the United Order of Enoch, as briefly practiced by the Mormons in the mid-1800's. The community owns all property and all citizens provide their labor in return for a share of the bounty. It is a well-organized system in which dissent is not tolerated, and certainly any affront to the prevailing religion is dealt with especially harshly. The community members are just a hive of worker-bees, mindlessly toiling away with nary a subversive thought in their heads. Isn't it wonderful! Welcome to the America of Tomorrow - Agrarian communism with a religious twist. Get out your Bible and your scythe, and get to work!

RELIGIOUS FASCISM

Welcome to George W. Bush's America, with an extra helping of paranoia added for good measure. Tomorrow's society is a paranoid, religious police state in which technology, big business, and big religion conspire to keep the public under control. Everything in this society is big. Companies are huge. Churches are gigantic. Massive banks of computers keep data on every citizen. Even the police have really big guns to go with their big Bibles which they use to club people over the head. Religious observance is mandatory, and the only legal religion is a government-sanctioned form of Evangelical Christianity. Anyone who visibly resists is summarily executed. Those who submit work long hours six days a week in terrible jobs, and every Sunday they are herded into churches where preachers tell them how wonderful everything is. Most of them are so brainwashed that they eat it up and think everything is wonderful. Welcome to a religious dreamland that not even Dubya could have hoped for! I hope you like mega-churches, because you will be going to one whether you want to or not.

AMERICAN TALEBAN

Welcome to a future in which society has fragmented into a bunch of highly religious, ultra-paranoid, agrarian communities. Central government has completely collapsed, and what is left is a disorganized group of local communities run by preachers who are little better than warlords in religious garb. Religious police roam the streets, harassing and beating anybody who does not look perfectly Christian. Church attendance is mandatory, and the moral police haul in anybody who skips out on services. Small business thrives, but corruption is rampant and the most successful businesses are inevitably run by the preacher/warlord's family and cronies. Women's rights are severely curtailed, and nobody even talks about gays or, gasp!, atheists. Welcome to a Bible-thumping, vice-free future. The American Taleban will get you if you don't watch out!

RELIGIOUS STALINISM

Imagine a society with a Stalinist philosophy combined with a healthy dose of good old-fashioned Christianity. This is your future. Religion is alive and well, but it is now a tool of the state, utilized to keep the masses in line. Private industry is no more; it has been replaced by massive state- and church-run collective enterprises. People are assigned to these enterprises, and they can never leave. Inefficient farms and factories operate whether they are profitable or not, and corrupt officials skim off most of their revenues, leaving everybody else in poverty. Religious leaders use their masterful brainwashing techniques in service of the state, and succeed in convincing most of the public that their lot in life is good. The few dissenters are dealt with harshly, and few dare openly criticize the government or the state church. The America of Tomorrow awaits! Stalinist dictators team up with church leaders to create a system that cannot be broken. Work hard, and keep your mouth shut.

THE WORST OF ALL

The future is as bleak as can be. The philosophy that has taken hold of society is a mixture of Pol Pot's agrarian communism and Jerry Falwell's fanatical Christianity. It doesn't get any worse than this, and you had better believe it. The Great Dictator, Mr. Falwell Pot, has decreed that all cities be abandoned and that everybody shall move to the countryside and farm for the glory of God. His massive militia ensures full compliance. As in Cambodia in the late 1970's, famine claims millions of lives. But for those who survive, life is even worse. Religious oppression is extreme and well-organized; the religious police in the America of Tomorrow put Afghanistan's Taleban to shame. Preachers fill people with fear and coerce them into following Falwell Pot's every whim. Dissent does not exist; all people with minds of their own have been killed. This is a society of robots, kept in check by the joint forces of militia and church, and there is no way out. This rotten society will last a very long time. Welcome to the worst society that the world has ever known, the People's Christian States of America, led by the evil Falwell Pot. It doesn't get worse than this, so consider yourself privileged to see just how bad a society can get. Enjoy!


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