EX TENEBRIS CRESCIT FLOS

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THE LIFE OF A MISFIT: MY STORY

Part 3: Life as an Adult Male

March 17, 2003

I was seventeen years old, and I was about to start college. After spending three months with my grandparents, I moved into my own place. I am 31 now, and I have lived alone since then. I sped through college, thinking of little else, getting my Bachelor's degree at 20 and my Master's degree at 22. While I was in college I met an older man who was sporadically working on a Ph.D. He was a very tolerant person and he introduced me to all kinds of new things and diverse people. While I did not realize at the time that I was transgendered, his influence probably began the process of breaking down the walls of fear. He died in 1994; that devastated me and I still deeply miss him.

During college I felt an urge to wear dresses, but I never completely acted on it. For some reason, the concept of going to a store and buying one never entered my mind. Instead, I would arrange sheets or blankets to resemble a dress and wear those crude creations around the apartment. Soon after leaving college and starting work, the urge became too strong. I bought two items of women's clothing. At the checkout counter, I was terribly afraid, but no one said anything and I got home and excitedly tried them on. I loved them! Incidentally, I still have those first two items; even if they get worn out, I will never discard them. They are precious mementos!

My crossdressing rapidly progressed. I bought more and more clothing. Some of those early purchases did not quite work out, but others did and I learned from my mistakes and successes. I made occasional forays out at night but I was too nervous to go out during the day. I did not have a wig, and I had not figured out makeup, so I would have looked terrible.

By 2002, I could not keep it hidden any longer. In March, I came out to my best friend, and by May I made my first forays out in public where people could see me. Then in July, I met with two local social and support groups, and by August I was going out in public and interacting with the public without getting nervous, and I was contemplating my transition. It has been wonderful finally being able to acknowledge my true self and to explore this vitally important aspect of my personality.

This story continues in the various articles I have written about my transition.


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