EX TENEBRIS CRESCIT FLOS
Gender Socialization and Transsexuals
November 9, 2005
Socialization
Socialization is the process by which a person becomes part of a society,
learning the social rules and expectations [1]. This process proceeds
reasonably
smoothly for most people, albeit with a few instances of rebellion, but some
can never be socialized to accept certain norms. Transsexuals are one group
of non-conformists. We can never be socialized to the point that we willingly
behave in accord with the sex of our birth. Society has penalties for those
who refuse to be socialized, and transsexuals often suffer as a result.
Expectations of the Male
In this essay, I will focus primarily on the socialization of the male, as I
can draw heavily on my personal experience as a male-to-female transsexual.
In the society of the United States, men are expected to behave a certain way,
and boys are socialized to conform to these expectations. Among these are
independence, aggressiveness, athleticism, competitiveness, and emotional
toughness. When I was growing up, I was encouraged to be independent,
primarily by my parents, but also in school where I was encouraged to explore
subjects on my own. My peer groups also encouraged this, as there was an
unwritten rule in class that for boys, asking questions was bad. If there is
one aspect of male socialization that I find valuable, it is independence.
To this day, I am fiercely independent. Oddly, this aspect of male
socialization helped me resist the others.
As a child, I was not the least bit aggressive, competitive, or athletic, and
I felt constant pressure to conform to these standards. My mother was,
thankfully, understanding in this regard, and she went so far as to force the
school system to exempt me from the requirement of taking gym classes by the
time I was in high school. Being with boys in these situations, especially
gym class, was a miserable experience for me and it ruined school for many
years. Their expectation was that I participate in games, be competitive, and
not show any emotion. Mostly, I just wanted to sit off to the side and cry.
Eventually, I became emotionally desensitized, but I still stubbornly refused
to get engaged in games or competition. To this day, I continue to feel the
psychological scars of false and unreasonable socialization.
There is a strong belief in society that men don't cry. Men and boys are not
supposed to show any kind of emotional weakness; if they show any emotion at
all, it is anger. Any time I showed emotion, I was persecuted so strongly that
I finally learned to hide everything. I eventually came to believe that I did
not even have emotions, and it took me many years to destroy this social
conditioning.
For a boy who feels like a girl, or is just extremely different, the process of
socialization can be horribly oppressive. The mental resistance to
socialization can leave emotinal scars, or the resistance itself can break
down and the person goes with the flow, but without deeply accepting what is
happening. Results can be disastrous, sometimes culminating in self-destructive
behavior, criminal activity, or suicide.
Female to Male Transsexuals
It works the other way too. Female socialization can be just as oppressive,
especially to female-to-male transsexuals, or even to tomboys. I have heard
stories of people socialized as girls who were prevented by parents or peers
from playing with boys, engaging in aggressive sports, or any number of other
activities.
Conclusions
Many men who are not transgendered resist aspects of male socialization, and it
can cause serious psychological damage. But to transgendered people, it can be
even worse. In addition to resisting these particular expectations, we have
the additional feeling that we are somehow "different" - not even members of
the sex of our birth at all. However, I do not resent every aspect of my
experience. The process made me tough and independent, better able to deal
with the process of transition. So, paradoxically, being socialized as a male
has perhaps helped me become a woman.
Sources
Explanations of general sociological concepts can be found in the following
textbook, or in other introductory sociology texts.
[1] Macionis, John J., "Sociology." 10th Ed. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall, 2005.
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