This
is what he might say:
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But this is what he'd
probably mean:
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Although
I am too
proud to beg, and may appear to be a very independent creature, I ask
for your loving care and attention.
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I'm the
boss, serve me.
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I
rely on you for my well being much more than you may realize.
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Go
out and earn money to keep me in the style to which I intend to
become accustomed.
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This
I promise you, my benefactor, that I will not be a burden on you nor
will I demand more of you than you care to give.
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The
more attention I get, the more I want. You may have to hire another
slave for me.
|
I
will be a quiet peaceful island of serenity for you to gaze upon; a
soft soothing body to caress, and I shall purr with pleasure to rest
your weary ears.
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I
will tear round the house smashing ornaments at 3 a.m., infest the
house with fleas, and bite your mother when she comes to visit.
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Since
I am a gourmet who appreciates different taste sensations, I pray you
will give me a variety of nutritious foods and fresh water daily.
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I
need Evian water, changed at least six times per day, chilled but not
too cold. Any food offerings that you make, no matter how expensive,
will be turned down if I think there is a chance that I can scrounge
the three day old bread that next door put out for the birds.
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You
know dear friend, how I love to sleep. Allow me, I pray, a warm
sheltered place where I can rest peacefully and feel secure.
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Don't
you dare wake me, I know where you sleep, and will get revenge -
claw type bloody revenge!
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If
I am wounded in battle or suffering from disease, please tend me
gently, and see that I am treated by loving and competent hands.
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I
reserve the right to mangle the most expensive hands you hire to
treat me.
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Please
protect me from the inhuman humans who would hurt and torture me for
their own amusement. I am accustomed to your gentle touch and am not
always suspicious nor swift enough to avoid such malicious acts.
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If
you ever find out that it was me who bit your mother's thumb, I'll have
to claim that she woke me up when I was
having a bad dream.
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In
my later years when my senses fail me and my infirmities become to
great to bear, allow me the comfort and dignity that I desire for my
closing days and help me gently in my pain or passing.
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When
I've had enough of being pampered, please send me to my next
reincarnation, where I look forward to being satisfactorily served once
more.
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Hear
this prayer, my dear friend; my fate depends on you.
|
I
might just accept you as slave, if you behave yourself.
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