1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
2. Cats look silly on a leash.
3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.
4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.
5. A dog knows when you're sad. And he'll try to comfort you. Cats don't care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.
6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.
7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won't go at all.
8. Dogs will come when you call them. And they'll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.
9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they're in pain. 
10. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
    

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1. Cats can go to the bathroom alone.  Dogs need an escort.
2. Cats bathe themselves daily.  Dogs roll in other animals' feces, then expect you to pet them.
3. Cats can be let out without supervision and will return when called.  Dogs will escape all but the sturdiest enclosures and only return when the police have caught them.
4. Cats adore those who adore them.  A dog loves everyone-- including the burglar who gave him a piece of salami. 
5. Cats greet you when coming home with a cheerful "meow" and a quick brush against the legs; dogs pounce on you and knock you over.
6. Cats watch their diet; dogs will eat you out of house and home.
7. Cats have the sense to eat only what's good for them; dogs will try anything, then leave the mess for you to clean up.
8. Cats sit on your lap when you're sad or feeling sick.  Dogs still expect to be taken out and fed regularly even if you're on your deathbed.
9. Cats control the mouse population; dogs control the "food left on the counter" population. 
10. Cats fight to protect your property from feral cats; dogs fight because they can.
11. Cats leave your property alone; dogs will eat your slippers, gloves, hats and nearly anything else they decide to go after.