Horror PlanetYear: 1980 Director: Norman J. Warren Written by: Nick & Gloria Maley Threat: Alien Weapon of Choice: Electric Saw Based upon: nothing |
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Other movies in this series:
None
Rish's Reviews
Also released in 1980, The Empire Strikes Back has nothing on this little-seen
masterpiece.
Of course, I am a very bad liar.
Sometime in the future, a scientific team runs afoul of a nasty alien on a distant planet.
After getting raped by the creature, one of the women in their party turns psychotic,
murderous, and well, kind of a bitch. Sorry.
Released not long after the extremely-successful (in every sense of the word)
Alien, this English production hasn't got a
great deal going for it. The future Mrs. Steve Martin, Victoria Tennant, has a small
part, but pretty much only gets to look cute and then die. One of the characters looks
a lot like Rachel Weisz would two decades later. Could be her mother, I suppose.
There was sure a lot of screaming and mewling from Sandy, the possessed/impregnated
crew-woman. If I counted how many times she shrieked, we'd be into the thirties
easily. It's semi-clever to have the monster be one of the crew, since it saves on
special effects, makeup, or any work at all. And speaking of which, this makes the
special effects of the original "Star Trek" series look like The Lord of the Rings.
Still, you can't necessarily judge a flick like this on its special effects or sets, just the
story. And . . . well, there's a hint of cleverness from time to time.
Whereas the characters in Alien were basically a group of space age truck
drivers, the crew here is an archeology team in space. It had a neat cheapie synthesizer
score. Mostly, though, the movie goes nowhere, reminding me of TV movies that have
to fill a certain time frame, regardless of how much story there is.
Interestingly, it has picture credits showing each character and how they died. A
highpoint of the film (besides the end credits finally rolling, that is) is when a character
hides from the killer out in the planet's unbreathable atmosphere.
A word I use a lot in my reviews, I realise, is "unpleasant." I don't know why I would
expect horror movies to be pleasant, exactly, but I have a low tolerance for the distasteful
and overly pessimistic. I think one of Horror's strengths is showing us the resiliency
and indominable spirit of humankind, even in the face of unimaginable evil.
Also known as Inseminoid, which is a much better title, I thought I had never
heard of this flick. Now I wish I had not. It's not the worst movie I've seen recently,
but it's definitely bad.
Best Scare: None are coming to mind, but one character actually sneaks up on the
monster with a hammer . . . and then throws the hammer at it.
I'd Recommend It To: Not many. But to more than I'd recommend Disney's Home
on the Range.
Posted: October 11, 2004
Total Skulls: 14
| Sequel | ||
| Sequel setup | ||
| Rips off earlier film | Alien | |
| Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie | ||
| Future celebrity appears | ||
| Former celebrity appears | ||
| Bad title | For "Horror Planet," not for "Inseminoid" | |
| Bad premise | ||
| Bad acting | ||
| Bad dialogue | ||
| Bad execution | ||
| MTV Editing | ||
| OTS | ||
| Girl unnecessarily gets naked | ||
| Wanton sex | ||
| Death associated with sex | ||
| Unfulfilled promise of nudity | ||
| Characters forget about threat | ||
| Secluded location | ||
| Power is cut | ||
| Phone lines are cut | ||
| Someone investigates a strange noise | ||
| Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door | ||
| Camera is the killer | ||
| Victims cower in front of a window/door | ||
| Victim locks self in with killer | ||
| Victim running from killer inexplicably falls | ||
| Toilet stall scene | ||
| Shower/bath scene | ||
| Car stalls or won't start | ||
| Cat jumps out | ||
| Fake scare | ||
| Laughable scare | ||
| Stupid discovery of corpse | ||
| Dream sequence | ||
| Hallucination/Vision | ||
| No one believes only witness | ||
| Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth | ||
| Warning goes unheeded | ||
| Music detracts from scene | ||
| Death in first five minutes | ||
| x years before/later | ||
| Flashback sequence | ||
| Dark and stormy night | ||
| Killer doesn't stay dead | ||
| Killer wears a mask | ||
| Killer is in closet | ||
| Killer is in car with victim | ||
| Villain is more sympathetic than heroes | ||
| Unscary villain/monster | ||
| Beheading | ||
| Blood fountain | ||
| Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc. | ||
| Poor death effect | ||
| Excessive gore | ||
| No one dies at all | ||
| Virgin survives | ||
| Geek/Nerd survives | ||
| Little kid lamely survives | ||
| Dog/Pet miraculously survives | ||
| Unresolved subplots | ||
| "It was all a dream" ending | ||
| Unbelievably happy ending | ||
| Unbelievably crappy ending | ||
| What the hell? |