The Keep
Year: 1983
Director: Michael Mann
Written by: Michael Mann
Threat: Demon
Weapon of Choice: Talisman
Based upon: novel by F. Paul Wilson
IMDb page: 
The KeepYear: 1983 Director: Michael Mann Written by: Michael Mann Threat: Demon Weapon of Choice: Talisman Based upon: novel by F. Paul Wilson IMDb page: |
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Other movies in this series:
None
Rish's Reviews
My, this was a bad movie. I saw some of this on television about a decade ago and
turned it off. This time around, I didn't have that luxury.
Let's see...so a bunch of Nazis in 1942 are sent to guard a mysterious fortress in the
Romanian mountains. Turns out it holds captive an unimaginable force of destructive
power, and sure enough, that force gets released. It seems only one man can stop it,
but will he be too late, and is he a man at all?
I saw this on my monthly schlock-a-thon with my bald friend and my Irish friend. The
latter seemed to think it was a really cool movie, going on and on about the soundtrack
by Tangerine Dream. He was horribly wrong, but I've learned that if I want to get
invited back to his place, I have to keep my opinions to myself.
It had an interesting cast. Jurgen Prochnow was actually quite good. Gabriel Byrne
played a slimy, evil bastard. Scott Glenn, who played the good guy (a sort of white
knight, I suppose), did his level best to make me not like him . . . and succeeded. Ian
McKellan, doing an odd American-esque accent, was rather unremarkable, although
I found it ironic that he played a World War II concentration camp survivor in this,
only to do it again in 2000's X-men. Oh, and the guy who played Dietrich in
Raiders of the Lost Ark appears long enough to deliver one line then die.
I've never considered myself a big fan of director Michael Mann (I prefer substance over style,
myself), but wow, this was bad.
The creature was neat, though. It, a big armored Skeletor guy with glowing eyes, was
played by Michael Carter, who was Bib Fortuna in Return of the Jedi and tyranist's
wedding video.
That was a joke. He wasn't in Return of the Jedi.
Let's see, what else? Oh, Nazis are always cool.
Now, I know how that sounds. What I mean is, Nazis are unique screen villians in that
they are not required to explain their motivations, not in need of a character arc, and
basically have to do nothing except wear the uniform to deserve a grisly fate. You can
kill an entire squadron of them (are there squadrons of Nazis, or is the term a gaggle?),
and no one in the audience feels bad for them. Westerners hate Nazis, and that's not
bound to change for a good long while.
I don't have a lot to say about this film, do I? It wasn't good, and made little sense, and
was only worth seeing because I had friends around. Which, I guess, is saying a lot.
Posted: January 26, 2005
Total Skulls: 14
| Sequel | ||
| Sequel setup | ||
| Rips off earlier film | ||
| Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie | ||
| Future celebrity appears |  |
Ian McKellan, Gabriel Byrne |
| Former celebrity appears | ||
| Bad title | ||
| Bad premise | ||
| Bad acting | ||
| Bad dialogue | ||
| Bad execution | |
|
| MTV Editing | ||
| OTS | |
|
| Girl unnecessarily gets naked | ||
| Wanton sex | |
|
| Death associated with sex | ||
| Unfulfilled promise of nudity | ||
| Characters forget about threat | ||
| Secluded location | |
|
| Power is cut | |
|
| Phone lines are cut | ||
| Someone investigates a strange noise | ||
| Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door | ||
| Camera is the killer | ||
| Victims cower in front of a window/door | ||
| Victim locks self in with killer | ||
| Victim running from killer inexplicably falls | ||
| Toilet stall scene | ||
| Shower/bath scene | ||
| Car stalls or won't start | ||
| Cat jumps out | ||
| Fake scare | ||
| Laughable scare | ||
| Stupid discovery of corpse | ||
| Dream sequence | ||
| Hallucination/Vision | ||
| No one believes only witness | ||
| Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth | ||
| Warning goes unheeded | |
|
| Music detracts from scene | ||
| Death in first five minutes | ||
| x years before/later | ||
| Flashback sequence | ||
| Dark and stormy night | |
|
| Killer doesn't stay dead | ||
| Killer wears a mask | ||
| Killer is in closet | ||
| Killer is in car with victim | ||
| Villain is more sympathetic than heroes | |
|
| Unscary villain/monster | ||
| Beheading | |
|
| Blood fountain | ||
| Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc. | ||
| Poor death effect | ||
| Excessive gore | ||
| No one dies at all | ||
| Virgin survives | ||
| Geek/Nerd survives | ||
| Little kid lamely survives | ||
| Dog/Pet miraculously survives | ||
| Unresolved subplots | |
|
| "It was all a dream" ending | ||
| Unbelievably happy ending | ||
| Unbelievably crappy ending | ||
| What the hell? | |