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An enterprising Elders Quorum president sent this ad:
ZION HOME TEACHING SERVICE:----"We
care when you don't have time
to"---
Home teaching getting you down?
Can't get that annoying Priesthood Leader off your back?
Home Teaching interfering with your TV and Golf?
WE CAN HELP! At ZIONS HOME
TEACHING SERVICE we'll do your home
teaching for you. For a
small fee we will send two of our trained
representatives to the homes
of your families.
Basic Visit..............................$10.00
Basic Visit plus Spiritual Message.......$15.00
Birthday and anniversary cards
in addition to the Basic visit and
Spiritual Message........................$20.00
Is $20.00 too much to pay for
peace of mind?
Call us at 1-800-752-2537
That's 1-800-Slacker.
Because of heavy volume, an extra
$15.00 will be added for services
requested the last day of the
month.
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This was told at our stake conference:
A family told their home teacher: "We just love and appreciate you so much, that on the first day of each month we are going to bake you a cake!-----------------it's up to you when you pick it up.
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A home teacher is being visited
by his Bishop. The bishop asks him how
many times he visited his families.
"I visited them ten months out of last year."
"Well that's fantastic," said the bishop. "I think you rank as one of the top home teachers in our ward with numbers like that. But if I might ask, if you got ten months, why not all twelve?"
"Well," said the home teacher,
"No one likes to be visited on Halloween
and New Year's Eve..."
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There was a good woman who died
and went to heaven. When she got there, she
got her visiting teaching list
"100 sisters "!!!!! She just stared at it
and finally said, "I can't visit
this many sisters every month!"
St. Peter said, "well, I think
you could do it, but if you'd rather not, you
could go to the "other" place
and see if you like it!" So she said, yes, she'd
like to visit hades and see if
things were any better for her there.
When she arrived in hades, she
was given a royal welcome, and shortly
thereafter she was given her
visiting teaching assignment. Only THREE sisters!
She was very happy and thought
she could visit all her ladies very easily.
But, she asked Satan why she
only had three sisters on her list when she was
in hades, but 100 when she was
in heaven.
He replied, "oh, we've got LOTS
of visiting teachers here!"
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