(Experience Bro. Featherstone
had while serving as Mission President--dealing with a missionary with
poor self-esteem, coming from a troubled family background.
Bro. Featherstone came from such a background himself, so understands.)
We lose much of value and precious time when we let our troubled family affect our service and utility. One missionary I knew was a wonderful young man. However, every time I received a weekly letter it stated the same thing: “President, I don’t like myself. I haven’t liked myself since I was in the 4th grade.” (I have often wondered what happened to him in the fourth grade.)
He said he did not know how his companion or the missionaries in the district could like him. He thought negatively about himself the whole day—every day.
Finally, during one personal interview with him, I said, “Elder,
you are the supreme egotist. How dare you think about yourself all
the time! I know your experiences have been negative, but you do
not have a right to spend the two years you have committed to the Lord
to think about
yourself. From this
time on, I want you to think about the Lord and others—investigators, missionaries,
members, your family—but not about yourself.”
I was pretty forceful with him. Now that may not have been an appropriate
way to approach his problem, but it worked. He stopped thinking about
himself and went on to become a great zone leader. A short time after
I counseled with him, in his weekly letter he said, “President Featherstone,
you have saved my very life.”
Adult children of troubled families do not have a right to endlessly think
about themselves. It is a type of supreme selfishness.
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