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You Got To Be Kidding Me!
By Dan Paulus

"Kinda makes you wonder why man sees himself as such a big whopping deal!"
- Hobbes of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes.

Coming off the heals of my last article talking about how magicians in general should take the art of magic more seriously, this week I'll be talking about how magicians take themselves too seriously. After reading the sophomoric chit-chat that has recently appeared in the letters section of Magic Magazine discussing whether or not it is ethical to use a bit of comedy that was featured by Max Maven on national TV, as well as, apparently, in his professional programs, I just couldn't keep my sarcastic mouth shut this time.

Here's the scene: Max Maven comes on the stage and warms up the audience with a gag. The gag? He tells the audience to make a circle with his fingers, and he demonstrates by doing so himself. Then he instructs them to place this finger-circle on their chins, as he says this he places his own finger circle on his cheek. A large portion of the audience follows Max's physical example and places their own finger circle on their own cheeks, at which point Max informs them of their error, saying, "No, that's your cheek!" The audience giggles and Max has introduced them to his playful side.

Now the controversy: Another magician named David Darkstone, after seeing Mr. Maven using this bit, has apparently been using this same bit in his Las Vegas program.

I couldn't believe it! Later letters to the magazine then pop up in staunch defense of Max Maven's intellectual property as the creator of this gag, and therefore the rightful owner.

NEWS FLASH TO ALL: I first saw this gag in 1970. During second-grade recess! This is one of the oldest childhood gotchas of all time! I don't know which is worse, the fact that it is being credited to Max Maven, or that it is being stolen by other performers! None the less, Max was first to use it on national TV so he should have first dibs on it (I assume he was first on TV with it. I guess I should check out some old Three Stooges movies, or see if Mr. Moose ever got Captain Kangaroo with this "winner."). What's just slightly more amazing to me than the fact that this moronic issue has dominated a few magic chat rooms, is that Mr. Darkstone couldn't think of anything better to steal from Max Maven. Max has dozens of excellent bits worth stealing, this isn't one of them!

When I first saw Mr. Maven use it on national TV, I was stunned that Max couldn't think of anything better either. But then I realized how beneficial this bit is - for Max. When Maven comes into the room his looks alone could make children cry, women cower, and lumberjacks wet themselves. This childlike gag lightens the mood and lets his audience know that, "It's okay to like me. I won't really bite you or steal your children in the night." His brilliant opening line of, "BOO!" does the same thing. In other words, regardless of how old the gag, or where it came from, Maven has used it intelligently and the bit accomplishes much in little time. He doesn't use it as "filler" as Mr. Darkstone seems to have. So while I would never do the finger on the chin/cheek gag, it does fit Mr. Maven's act and helps set a tone for his show to come.

But Come On People! Have we nothing else to talk about in magic? No? Well fine then, let's talk about who "owns" the bit. I feel that by the rights of who said what first, and to be completely fair, I must give that honor to Stinky Stan Dickerson. I haven't seen ol' Stinky for some 33 years now, and since I'm pretty sure that he never went into show business, I feel the bit is pretty much up for grabs. After all, when he cracked up Mrs. Green's second grade class of 1970, he never said that we couldn't use it! And now that Max Maven has adopted it to his own show we should all seek out our own comedy relief bits. This is not only fair to Mr. Maven, but also a smart move for all of you. Let's face it. Any one of us would be hard pressed to actually pull this gag off as entertaining the way Max seems to have.

But I'd like to help out those who would none the less want to steal this bit. So here's a list of other bits courtesy of Stinky Stan that, as far as I'm aware of, are still public domain. Please feel free to use any or all of them.

"Look Up, Look Down, Look All Around… Your Pants Are Falling Down!"

"Grab Your Tongue With Your Fingers And Say The Word "Apple"

"Hey! Your epidermis Is Showing!" (This can be quickly followed up by; "Made You Look!")

And finally, "Pull My Finger."

So there you are folks! Get 'em while they're hot! And use them before some other magic notable adds them to his next Showtime special.

Now, let's talk magic...

Dan