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 On
How to Develop Intimacy with a Spouse
"A
deep and abiding relationship with the Savior is indeed
the only way to achieve true intimacy in our relationships
with others. And because intimacy requires the
involvement of both parties, each person in a truly intimate
relationship must have a connection with the Savior, a
connection that is strong and vibrant and growing. True
intimacy requires that both parties' offerings of love
are embedded within an intimate relationship with Him.
All else will feel like a sorry substitute."
"I
believe that the Lord blesses spouses who love each other
purely. I believe He blesses spouses whose passions and
appetites have been influenced by the Holy Ghost.
We were given the gift of the Holy Ghost for exactly such
a time as this. Is it difficult to believe that the Holy
Ghost will help you express your love physically? He will.
Pray for it."
"As
we increase our understandings of these truths, we will
never worry that increased purity might decrease our God-given
passions. Those natural passions will be increased, purified,
and adapted to their lawful use. Spirit-magnified
and spirit-purified passion will always be greater than
lust. The ability to have our passions magnified, purified,
and adapted seems to be something very worthy of prayer
or even of fasting."
- "Personal Purity and Intimacy" by Sister
Wendy Watson, 1999 Women's Conference
"Physical
intimacy is not only a symbolic union between a husband
and a wife—the very uniting of their souls—but
it is also symbolic of a shared relationship between
them and their Father in Heaven. He is immortal
and perfect. We are mortal and imperfect. Nevertheless
we seek ways even in mortality whereby we can unite with
Him spiritually. In so doing we gain some access to both
the grace and the majesty of His power. These
are moments when we quite literally unite our will with
God’s will, our spirit with His spirit, where communion
through the veil becomes very real. At such moments
we not only acknowledge His divinity but we quite literally
take something of that divinity to ourselves."
- Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland, “Personal Purity,”
Ensign, Nov 1998, page 75
Advice
on Lust and Erotica in Marriage
 "As
you strive and work with your loved ones for an increasingly
intimate relationship that is blessed by the presence
of the Spirit, the distinction between the Lord's truth
about intimacy and the adversary's lies will become increasingly
clear. For truly, if there is anything impure,
defiling, of an illicit nature, or obscene, the adversary
seeks to generate these things and seeks to convince us
that these things are normal, good, and part of intimacy.
They are not!"
"When
we are seeking increased understanding about physical
intimacy, which is so sacred, so powerful, we need wide-angle
eternal vision and Spirit-enhanced depth perception. If
our understanding of physical intimacy is presently based
on a picture that is taken, developed, and framed by none
other than the father of all lies himself, our experiences
with physical intimacy will be deadly. We must mediate
our understanding by the death-defying power in the Savior's
atonement."
- "Personal Purity and Intimacy" by Sister
Wendy Watson, 1999 Women's Conference
Don't
Even Talk Dirty in Bed With Your Spouse
"Marriage
is both a commandment and an exalting principle of the
gospel. Because it is ordained of God, the intimate
physical expressions of married love are sacred. Yet all
too commonly, these divine gifts are desecrated. If a
couple allows lewd language or pornography to corrupt
their intimacy, they offend their Creator while
they degrade and diminish their own divine gifts. True
happiness is predicated upon personal purity. Scripture
commands: "Be ye clean." Marriage should ever
be a covenant to lift husbands and wives to exaltation
in celestial glory."
-
Apostle Russell M. Nelson, "Nurturing Marriage,"
April 2006 General Conference
The
Importance of Keeping Marital Intimacy Fantasy and Vulgar-free
“Tenderness
and respect—never selfishness—must be the
guiding principles in the intimate relationship between
husband and wife. Each partner must be considerate and
sensitive to the other’s needs and desires. Any
domineering, indecent, or uncontrolled behavior in the
intimate relationship between husband and wife is condemned
by the Lord. Pornography and unwholesome
fantasies erode one’s character and strike
at the foundation of a happy marriage.”
- The Prophet Howard W. Hunter, “Being a Righteous
Husband and Father,” Ensign, Nov. 1994, page 50
"Have
we been careless? Have we drifted far too much in the
direction of the world's view, which is so saturated with
Lucifer's lies about physical intimacy? It is
indeed time to rise up and be careful! Careful about everything
that comes into our hearts, minds, and homes which pertains
to physical intimacy. Could the words of the
Prophet Joseph Smith apply to how in times past we have
carelessly thought about, and talked about, physical intimacy?
Joseph said: "How vain and trifling have been our
spirits, our conferences, our councils, our meetings,
our private as well as public conversations—too
low, too mean, too vulgar, too condescending." We
must be very careful with our language and our conversations
about everything related to this sacred physical endowment."
- "Personal Purity and Intimacy" by Sister
Wendy Watson, 1999 Women's Conference
Cast
Out Satan In Order to Increase Marital Intimacy
"We
need to be bold in exposing Lucifer and his lies. We need
to rise up, and with ever increasing clarity point out
his counterfeits, his deceptions, his trickery.
I believe that all satanically influenced presentations
about physical intimacy should be stamped "More Lies!
To protect our minds and hearts, our homes and families
from the intrusions of the devil's devices, perhaps we
need big, bold warning signs on every book, magazine,
videotape, audiotape, TV sitcom, movie, play, and so forth,
which is coproduced by the adversary himself. Warning
signs that would reveal his works for what they really
are: angry protests against God and persistent, power-hungry
efforts to obliterate the truth."
"Lucifer
loves good women and is poised and ready to intrude his
lies into good women's lives. He's swift. He's very effective.
He knows if he can take down a good woman, he can take
down a whole family in one fell swoop. Talk about the
economy of Lucifer. The devil's domino effect in action!
Sisters, it's time to make certain that Satan does not
have a grip on our hearts, minds, homes, and families.
If we find any evidence of his blatantly obvious or even
his covertly subtle presence, we need to cast him out.
We need to do more than just loosen his grip;
we need to cast him out so that we can be taught by the
Spirit the grand eternal truths about physical intimacy
and teach them to our families."
- "Personal Purity and Intimacy" by Sister
Wendy Watson, 1999 Women's Conference
What
To Do if Your Husband Wants Oral Sex
 "Married
persons should understand that if in their marital relations
they are guilty of unnatural, impure, or unholy practices,
they should not enter the temple unless and until they
repent and discontinue any such practices. The
First Presidency [including Gordon B. Hinckley] has interpreted
oral sex as constituting an unnatural, impure, or unholy
practice. If a person is engaged in a practice which
troubles him enough to ask about it, he should discontinue
it."
- Official Declaration of the First Presidency of the
Church - Including Gordon B. Hinckley, January 5th, 1982
"And
what if the person asking you to engage in something defiling
is your husband, whom you love? President Boyd K. Packer
anticipated this attack on personal purity from within
marriage. He counseled: "A married couple
may be tempted to introduce things into their relationship
which are unworthy. Do not, as the scriptures warn, 'change
the natural use into that which is against nature'. If
you do, The Tempter will drive a wedge between you."
Anything that offends the Spirit will allow The Tempter
to drive a wedge between husbands and wives."
"Unfortunately,
some married couples fail to realize that sexual
experiences were never intended by the Lord to be a mere
plaything or merely to satisfy passions and lusts.
When couples engage in physical intimacy devoid of emotional
and spiritual intimacy, or when they participate
in unholy practices, what should be a spiritually bonding
element in their marriage may actually become a disruptive
force. Going to the scriptures and to
the words of modern prophets for inspired counsel
is one of the best ways husbands and wives can improve
their communication and strengthen their marriage.
- Elder Spencer J. Condie, “Finding Marital
Unity through the Scriptures,” Ensign, Jul 1986,
page 52
"If
it is unnatural, you just don't do it. That is all, and
all the family life should be kept clean and worthy and
on a very high plane. There are some people who have
said that behind the bedroom doors anything goes. That
is not true and the Lord would not condone it."
- President Spencer W. Kimball, The
Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p.311-12
"'I
was talked out of my feelings.' Those are the haunting
words of a woman whose husband on their wedding night
had introduced her to the consummation of their love in
a manner that offended her spirit. For years they carried
on the illusion of a marriage. That was the best they
could do, for a woman who felt numb and a man who felt
rejected."
- "Personal Purity and Intimacy" by Sister
Wendy Watson, 1999 Women's Conference
How
to Have Out-of-this-world Sex
 "We,
as spirit daughters of heavenly parents, need to ensure
that Satan is continually cast out of our hearts, minds,
homes, and families. We, as women of Christ, need to forge
intimate relationships with others that involve Him.
We, as daughters of Eve, need to distinguish good from
evil and partake of physical intimacy only within the
sacred ordinance of marriage. And as we do we
will co-create intimate relationships that are truly out
of this world!"
- "Personal Purity and Intimacy" by Sister
Wendy Watson, 1999 Women's Conference
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