Stars: Michael Keaton, Geena Davis, Christopher Reeve, Bonnie Bedelia, Ernie Hudson, Charles Martin Smith. Written by Robert King. Directed by Ron Underwood. Rated PG-13 for profanity, sexual situations.

I know that you've always wanted the inside scoop on what its like to be a political speechwriter. What's that? You haven't? Hmmm... Maybe we're onto something here. This could be an early insight as to why "Speechless" is such a tedious bore.

The setup: Soon after meeting, Kevin Vallick (Michael Keaton) and Julia Mann (Geena Davis) realize that they have insomnia in common and decide to pop across the Mexican border to grab some breakfast burritos while the stars are busy twinkling. Neither one lets on to the other that their purpose in New Mexico is to write speeches for campaigning senators, and opposing ones at that. They find out just as their personal relationship is about to take flight. But since both camps frown of fraternization, they're forced to put love on the back- burner.

"Speechless" isn't nearly as concerned with campaign tactics and professional integrity as it is with getting Keaton and Davis into the sack together. The poorly-written script thrusts them into verbal sparring matches time and again, with little real humor or emotion. The whole thing is about as romantic as wilted lettuce.

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