Stars: Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo, Stockard Channing, Blythe Danner, Arliss Howard. Written by Douglas Carter Beane. Directed by Beeban Kidron. Rated PG-13 for profanity, violence.

Vida Boheme (Patrick Swayze) and Noxeema Jackson (Wesley Snipes), drag queens from New York, win a trip to Hollywood to compete in a national drag queen competition. They take pity on Chi Chi Rodriguez (John Leguizamo), one of the losers of the New York contest, and invite him/her to join them on their journey. They cash in their plane tickets and rent a Cadillac convertible and begin their trek across the U.S.

A run-in with the law in Nebraska leaves the trio believing that they have accidentally killed a local sheriff. Their car breaks down not long after and they are forced to spend the weekend in the small, rural town of Snyderville. Of course, nobody there can tell them apart from real women. Making the best of a bad situation, Vida and Noxeema give the local women makeovers while Chi Chi spends time with a farm boy. Before they leave the town, the trio will get a speechless elderly woman to talk, introduce manners to the local rednecks, protect a battered wife (Stockard Channing) from her husband (Arliss Howard), and inspire several romances.

"Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" is about as implausible as a film can get. I didn't even mention the film's ending, which itself will inspire incredulity galore. Patrick Swayze tries his best at acting female, but his rugged looks often spoil the illusion. Wesley Snipes in a dress never looks like anything more than Wesley Snipes in a dress. John Leguizamo, however, eerily transforms himself into a believable woman. Unfortunately, he is the only thing believable about the film.

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