ROBERT BERRY'S
WEIRD MOVIE STUFF #20

Kid Tested and Mother Approved


Welcome to the latest issue of goo from yer pal Robert. Things are going well these days, and dammnit, I love the world and everyone in it! HEEE HAW! Well, at least the guy who invented microwavable butterscotch topping for ice-cream, where is the Nobel for that fine human!?!


WEIRD MOVIE QUOTES
"We seriously believed twenty years ago that the film would
cause a dangerous escalation of violence...We were considerably
relieved when the maker banned it."
        -England Police Officer Reg Gale, on A CLOCKWORK ORANGE

"Those in the entertainment industry who deny that cultural
messages can bore deep into the hearts and minds of our young
people are deceiving themselves."
        -Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole

"Movies about hookers don't turn girls into prostitutes"
        -A Universal executive commenting on a Russian roulette
         death attributed to THE DEER HUNTER

"I'm disturbed at the increasing number of roadrunner slayings
by coyotes in Arizona."
        -Comedian/Actor, Stephen Wright

WEIRD MOVIE STUFF NUGGETS O' GOODNESS

  • Bob Barker, host of THE PRICE IS RIGHT (the longest running game show of all time) is currently featured in HAPPY GILMORE, however his most recent film appearance prior to that was 1950's ABBOT and COSTELLO IN THE FOREIGN LEGION. Wink Martindale can be found in Julie Brown's Madonna parody, MEDUSA: DARE TO BE TRUTHFUL, while original WHEEL of FORTUNE host Chuck Woolery made his feature debut in 1974's TREASURE OF THE JAMAICA REEF, and also appeared in the Kenny Rogers racing film SIX-PACK. Still waiting for that big Gene Rayburn epic.

  • According to the 3/96 DETAILS magazine, Stanley Kubrick was so pissed about A CLOCKWORK ORANGE's denouncement by a British judge as "an evil within itself" after police linked a series of 1971 rapes to the film, that to this day he has prevented the movie from being played in the UK.

  • In the Adam Sandler golf-comedy HAPPY GILMORE, notice that he has a laserdisc of CADDYSHACK II (an awful sequel starring Jackie Mason) leaning against his dresser. (Not to mention a tres chic Journey Escape poster!) HAPPY GILMORE may be the only film in history to feature an old lady wearing a Gene Simmons mask in a french kissing love scene, if my memory serves me correctly.

  • John Woo's BROKEN ARROW is the first American big budget action film to be directed by someone of Asian ancestry. (Or is that Oriental?)

  • The original concept of the PLANET OF THE APES films were considered too goofy, so screen legend Edward G Robinson was made up in full ape regalia to show the studio folk how good it would look. This gave the project an immediate go ahead. Oliver Stone is going to produce a new APES film, with Arnold Schwartzengger (The bad news...Chris Columbus is directing! ACK!) At least Roddy McDowall can be recast, with some ape-makeup magic, and look exactly the same. The short-lived TV show received very good ratings, but was canceled prematurely due to the extremely high cost of producing the series. PLANET OF THE APES and its five sequels were made in an astoundingly quick 5 year timespan.

  • VARIETY magazine reports that Jack Nicholson has been inked to star in the Tim Burton directed MARS ATTACKS (based on a way-cool series of trading cards back in the 50s) which looks to be a much more fun take on the whole INDEPENDENCE DAY aliens vs us concept. Nicholson is said to be playing two different roles in the film, including the President. Pierce Brosnan is also slated to star.

  • That Anne Bankroft is married to Mel Brooks is a weird enough fact. Weirder still is the fact that Sir Mel, though known for comedies both classic and crappy, produced the films THE ELEPHANT MAN and THE FLY (there's a remake better than the original).


    WEIRD WEB PAGES
    FOR YOUR SURFIN PLEASURE

    *BABE WEBPAGE
-------------
For you fans o' BABE, the excellent talkin' pig flick, give this
page a try.  It's got tons o' great dowloadable pictures and a
phenomenal amount of behind the scenes information about the production.

        http://movieweb.com/movie/babe/


*GAMERA HOMEPAGE
----------------
All you ever wanted to know about that scary giant flying turtle
from Japan, but were afraid to wonder why you really wanted to know.

        http://tswww.cc.emory.edu/%7Ekgowen/gamera.html

*TV THEME SONGS HOMEPAGE
------------------------
This thing is outstandingly complete!  Comedies, dramas, cartoons,
and children shows abound in this .au file archive of some great ol
songs to listen to and/or download.  My personal faves, "LAND OF
THE LOST", "ELECTRA WOMAN and DYNA GIRL", and "GOOD TIMES" are here.
This one will swallow you whole if you let it.

        http://themes.parkhere.com/themes/tvthemes.html

*SIX DEGREES of KEVIN BACON
---------------------------
Ok...this is the most original page I've ever seen.  The theory
presented here is that you can connect any film performer ever and
find a connection to a Kevin Bacon in 6 or less movies.  This
is successfully done with Fatty Arbuckle, Rudolph Valentino, Gary
Coleman, Benji, and Godzilla.  For example:

        DANNY BONADUCE to KEVIN BACON
        -----------------------------
        Danny Bonaduce was in CORVETTE SUMMER
        with Mark Hamill who was in STAR WARS
        with Harrison Ford who was in THE FUGITIVE
        with Tommy Lee Jones who was in JFK
        with KEVIN BACON!

Give this fun page a try at:

        http://incolor.inetbr.com/fnargle/erission/bacon/index.html

    WEIRD MOVIE STUFF FILMOGRAPHY SPOTLIGHT
    GARY COLEMAN AND TODD BRIDGES

    Hope and Crosby, Martin and Lewis, Burns and Allen, Abbott and Costello...all great comedic teams that have brought some of the finest entertainment the world has ever seen. Perhaps no duo captured the hearts of millions (or kidneys of many) like Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges. Both of them came from very humble beginnings, with nothing but their jeans. Bridges made his debut as "Loomis" one of the many kids on Abe Vigoda's classic TV show FISH. Coleman tried several small parts out, but didn't find success until being matched up with Bridges in DIFF'RENT STROKES. Was it the fine mentorship of Conrad Bain that made things click? Was the sultry and passionate performances of Dana Plato and Charlotte Rae what helped make this magic chemistry work? Or was it the hit theme song written by Alan Thicke? Nobody will ever know for sure, but we do now that there will never be another Bridges and Coleman.

    GARY COLEMAN

    Though most of his work below is unavailable on video, as they are largely TV films, they are well worth the search. Especially Gary's breakout role as a child pyromaniac in 1985's PLAYING WITH FIRE. A role so chilling, he was nearly cast as Hannibal Lechter in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, but kidney difficulties, and an inability to meet the actor's demands of script additions like, "What you talkin bout Miss Clarice?", forced a regrettable dismissal of the star.

            THE KID FROM LEFT FIELD (79)
        SCOUT'S HONOR  (80)
        ON THE RIGHT TRACK (81)
        THE KID WITH THE BROKEN HALO (82)
        JIMMY THE KID (82)
        THE KID WITH THE 200 I.Q.  (83)
        THE FANTASTIC WORLD OF D.C. COLLINS  (84)
        PLAYING WITH FIRE (85)

    TODD BRIDGES

    After safely beating a murder rap courtesy of master defense attorney Johnny Cochran, Todd is ready to reenter the world of acting yet again. As the below films are a testament to his fine talents, he's sure to make a dramatic impact on the film world. It should be noted that he had crossed paths yet again with his lovely co-star Dana Plato in 1984's HIGH SCHOOL USA. Todd is currently working with Cochran for another lawsuit which seeks damage compensation for the unlicensed use of his name in the movies THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY, A BRIDGE TOO FAR, and "that Kwai one!"

            HIGH SCHOOL USA (84)
        TWICE DEAD (88)
        SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL (89)
        HOMEBOYS (92)

    WEIRD LYRIC STUFF

    Movie musicals have long held an esteemed place in film history, however none stands out as much as the remarkable 1980 masterpiece, XANADU starring Gene Kelly and Olivia Newton-John. Billed as "The 40s meet the 80s...a very special love story and the first lavish, old fashioned musical to utilize today's music" it serves as a perfect testament to the life work of Gene Kelly. Cheesy effects, Cheesy lighting, and amazingly cheesy scene transition edits make this one that needs to be seen to be believed. The title song, which comes on during the end of the movie in a frenzy of spandex, leg-warmers, and roller disco, wraps up the movie suitably with the golden voice of Olivia, and the slick backup of the inimitable ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA! Oh what we wouldn't do, for XANADU 2...

    XANADU (lyrics by Jeff Lynne)
-----------------------------
The place
Where nobody dared to go
The love that we came to know
They called it Xanadu

And now
Open your eyes and see
What we have made is real
We are in Xanadu

CHORUS
-------------------
A million lights I'll dance
And there you are
A shooting star
An everlasting love
And you're here with me
Eternally
Xanadu
Xanadu  (now we are here)
In Xanadu
Xanadu
Xanadu  (now we are here)
In Xanadu
Xanadu your neon lights will shine
For you Xanadu

The love
The echoes of long ago
You need a new world to know
They are in Xanadu
The dream
The came through all the years
That lived on through all the tears
It came from Xanadu

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Now that I'm here
Now that you're near
In Xanadu
Now that I'm here
Now that you're near
In Xan-a-dooooooooooooooooooooo

    Well that's it! Turn off your computer and go out and play!

    Send comments, dried fruit, and old viewmaster reels to...

    Robert A Berry II
    robert.a.berry@mcimail.com

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