Night Falls
20 March 2006
by Nate Hansen

Toturi Naseru spoke with power. Nikana's heart found some room amidst all the grief to feel something else – gratitude. Emperor Toturi had personally conveyed his condolences and now officiated at Takako's funeral.

"An honor for which I am hardly deserving," Nikana thought. "But one for which Takako is." Again only grief.

Nikana found it strange that during the four days he had bourne up as well as he had. Knowing Takako's spirit was by his side allowed him to face his loss with dignity. "I always felt noble in her presence." Nikana remarked to himself. "I won't disappoint her," he tried to reassure himself.

After the funereal rights had concluded Nikana remained by the ashen mound that was the consumed remains of Seppun Takako's mortal coil. Those in attendance once again offered brief words of comfort to Nikana before they took their leave. The eta had carefully placed Takako's ashes in a green ceramic urn and seeing Nikana still remained they bowed to him.

"Proceed, and hold your heads high. You bear away the remains of the greatest women I have ever known."

Stunned, the eta bowed again and left, nervously holding their heads up.

Nikana stood alone, staring at the spot where the funeral pyre had been. Only a mild breeze accented the silence that otherwise hung in the air.

"There is nothing for me here," Nikana said with some relief in his voice. "I have seen her spirit off to Meido. May she find more joy in her life to come. May the heavens treasure the pearl that has joined them."

Nikana turned his back on the charred ground and made his way slowly through the expansive gardens. Eventually he found himself standing before the Temple of Benten. A monk wordlessly lead him to the main hall.

"Might I be given some private chambers – my love is gone and I would be alone."

"Of course, Seppun-sama," the monk replied softly leading Nikana to a more secluded part of the temple.

Nikana sat in front of a large lamp that sat on the floor – the monk exiting and sliding the door closed. Starring into the dancing flame Nikana's shoulders slumped. The presence of the open flame no longer brought him any comfort.

"Then her spirit truly has gone." With a sharp exhale Nikana put out the flame.

Alone in the darkness Nikana felt at the walls of his prison. Pain seemed to surround him – shutting out all else. Sitting still had never been so hard for Nikana. He had hardly been alone since her death but now he let the whole weight of what had happened fall on him. He could try to escape – there was always saki or even liquid void but Nikana would not even allow himself the small distraction of family and friends nor the comfort that came from the movement of kata.

"I owe her this much at least – to not shy away."

Sitting up straight once again Nikana inhaled deeply and let the sorrow and grief wash over and seep into him.

"This is all I have left of her and I will embrace it."

Tears broke from Nikana's eyes and flowed down his cheeks. He hurt too much to sob but his face contorted as the wail in his mind overwhelmed him. The hours wrung all the strength from Nikana as he wept and shuddered.

Then a thought stabbed Nikana's mind and he would have wept more bitterly if he were able.

"There is no end to this pain. Is this what she has become to me? Is this how her memory will live on in me? Where she brought joy and love there is only emptiness in her wake. Where once a lotus flower opened up to radiant sun there is only a heart choked by thorns. Please forgive me my love – I don't know how to do what you have asked of me – I don't know how to live again."

Miyako, Hikaru, Kizuma, and Ayame sat around the tea kettle talking quietly. They fit snugly in the center of the room, only Ayame had a view of the door and she kept glancing at it as if she expected someone to walk in at any moment.

"Did Nikana mention why the Emperor wanted to see him," Ayame asked impatiently.

Miyako glanced at Hikaru.

"He did not tell me anything – only that the Emperor told him and his companions that they were to come before him today. And I can only guess why. Today is a normal session of Imperial Court so their meeting will be formal. Perhaps he wishes to reiterate the tragedy of Takako-sama's assassination and that the assassin has been killed and the matter is being looked into." Hikaru tried to reassure Ayame.

"We still don't know why she was killed." The bitterness of Kizuma's words sounded strange in his young voice.

"Hai and it may take some time before we know the truth. If ever," Miyako added.

At these words Ayame's eyes fell further downward as she appeared to study the depths of her tea cup. She had not said much this morning and she was becoming more withdrawn as the days passed. Takako's death hit her hard and Nikana's sorrow added to her concern. She knew Takako would want her to look after him but she didn't know how.

Miyako looked worriedly at Ayame. "Takako-san may have only been in our family a short while but we will always remember her. But we must not forget that she would be disappointed if we forgot our own lives. Ayame, I want you to practice today. Kizuma what do you have planned for today?"

"I am leaving on the morrow." Nikana's voice range out through the room. Hikaru and Kizuma took a sip of tea allowing their mother to respond.

"Nikana-san, this is a time when we should be together as a family. Don't let you grief drive you away – we can help you," Miyako's voice held a deep sense of love and concern.

Ayame's eyes had widened and her mouth stood open as if stalled in speaking.

"Come here young Ayame, I would speak with you before I leave. I would speak with all of you before I go."

At this the others finally turned around to look at Nikana. Silence filled the room. Hikaru's eyes grew as big as Ayame's. Hikaru's grin beamed widely and Miyako's eyes squinted in disbelief.

Nikana stood in the doorway, a dangerous light in his eyes that dimmed when he looked upon his family. Clothed all in white the jade seal hanging from his neck was impossible to miss – the badge of an Emerald Magistrate.

Haiku given to the Emperor before leaving:

Once a lotus bloomed
Now dead, only steel remains
A blade in your hands