Honorless Glory
19 August 2005
by O'donna Dean

Loss after loss, complete frustration. Takako shook her head as yet another loss had been achieved. She wasn't expecting to win in the Test of Arms, but the last two losses were a bit unexpected.

She loved the art of writing Haiku. It always brought peace to her mind. Today was different, though. Peace would not come when she needed it most. Haiku about Shinsei should have flowed from her hand. Her knowledge and love for the teachings should have made that test a win for her, but not today. Then the opportunity to use the Courtier skills that her aunt had taught her. Yet again a failure. Maybe she hadn't listened as well as she had thought when her aunt would sit down with her all those years. Why was this happening today?

Doji Shiju was now standing and dismissing the Samuari for the two-hour rest period. Takako stood slowly and started to walk back to her room.

"May I walk you back?" Nikana-san asked, as he came up quietly beside Takako. His warm smile would normally make Takako feel relaxed, but yet again, not today.

"No," Takako said, a little too curtly. She started walking faster and left Nikana-san behind.

Her mind was racing. She wanted it to stop. Too much... pain, anger, frustration... dishonor. When she arrived in her room, she shut the door and immediately went to her writing table.

I bring no honor
Loss is all that surrounds me
Why was I sent here

She signed her name and quickly folded it. She stood and opened her door, and when she found one of the keepers of the house, she had them take the message to the Shiba Daimyo at the castle. She then went back into her room to be alone. Meditation was her last hope for bringing peace to her mind.

Just as intermission was about over, and Takako was taking her seat for the start of the next task, a note was delivered to her.

Honorless glory
In effort without reward
There lies true honor

Takako looked up at the judges, and the Shiba was looking back at her. Takako bowed her head and peace entered. She would not give up, even if she did not win anything else.

She quickly looked over at Nikana-san. He was in deep thought, preparing himself for what was ahead. She realized that she had turned his offer of friendship down when she had been asking him to put his trust in her and offering him her friendship. She would need to apologize to him before the end of the day. They both needed each other's friendship, badly. Later, she said to herself, prepare now.