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He had let others into the secret at last. Jinjiro had finally told others that which he had not even told his family–the fate of his father. For six years this secret had been known by only one other–Kakita Toshimoko - and he had known because of Jinjiro's inexperience and rashness. Going to his family daimyo and demanding vengeance on a powerful Scorpion with no evidence except his own dreams had been one of the most serious breaches of etiquette and disregard of honor Jinjiro had ever made, and the embarrassment of that moment had remained with Jinjiro for years.
Toshimoko-sama had gained Jinjiro's undying devotion with his next actions - a dismissal of the servants with the orders that this would go no further, and
the simple words "I believe you." Those words had earned Toshimoko-sama the loyalty of Jinjiro forever. That a man of Toshimoko's standing would believe his young relative and protect his honor was an example of bushido to family that Jinjiro would never forget. With that belief had come strict instructions - "do not act on this until you are ready and until you have proof."
When Konamura had given Jinjiro a name to attach to the images floating in his dreams he had at first ignored it. He knew what Konamura was, and no word of his would stand up before the lightest breeze. Another dream brought the confirmation Jinjiro so needed, and he found the time for action drawing near. When he saw the pillar he would be closer to the truth. When he spoke to a witness he would know it.
How to explain to his friends that for the past six years Jinjiro had been afraid? Afraid of deception, of learning the truth may not be what he had thought it was, and fear of the moment when his family's honor would rest upon his actions alone. These visions could have been real, or phantoms. Perhaps the loss of his father had twisted Jinjiro's dreams forever and any thoughts of vengeance were the idle dreams of a forsaken son. When would his own skills be the equal of Takiro's? Would they ever? How could he defeat the men who had defeated his father? Would he ever discover the truth? Jinjiro had kept his silence from everyone for these reasons.
This was his burden, and his alone, and until the moment when he stood before his father's killer with real proof it would not be lifted by any action of his own. When the time came to reveal what he knew it was like pulling out his heart and displaying all of its imperfections to the others. He thought of the questions they would ask. Why had he not acted on his knowledge before? Didn't he know the proverb "A man cannot sleep while his father's killer goes unavenged?" What was his proof? You mean you have none? He could see Naoki was unhappy with what he said, but the questions did not come, merely what he planed to do next.
They were indeed his friends. Perhaps they did understand this, the pain at the center of Jinjiro's being.