[CANSLIM] Had to share this

From: "Duke Miller" <dukemill@tampabay.rr.com>
Subject: [CANSLIM] Had to share this
Date: Sun, 30 Jun 2002 15:11:03 -0400
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Folks, up front, I apologize deeply for going off topic here.  So if
"off-topic" offends you, hit the delete key now.  It's a great way to
end the Andersen bashing, once and for all.  Below is an item by a
columnist in this morning's St. Petersburg Times.  After you read it, I
may have stopped laughing enough to help you up off the floor.  
 
Duke
 
*****
In the spirit of comic relief (and with apologies to Abbott and
Costello's famous "Who's on first?" baseball routine), imagine this
top-level exchange between two reluctant regulators on U.S. business
practices: President Bush and SEC Commissioner Pitt. 


BUSH: Now look, Harvey, I'm the head of the free world. The only way
we're going to clean up this business mess and get on with our war on
terrorism is to find out who's doing what in corporate America. So go
ahead and tell me some of their names. 


PITT: Yes sir, Mr. President. We have Who's at WorldCom, What's at
Enron, I Don't Know's at Global Crossing. 


BUSH: That's what I wanna find out. 


PITT: I say Who's at WorldCom, What's at Enron, I Don't Know's at Global
Crossing. 


BUSH: You know the fellows' names? 


PITT: Certainly! 


BUSH: Well, then who's at WorldCom? 


PITT: Yes! 


BUSH: I mean the fellow's name! 


PITT: Who! 


BUSH: The guy at WorldCom! 


PITT: Who is at WorldCom! 


BUSH: Now whaddya askin' me for? 


PITT: I'm telling you, Who is at WorldCom. 


BUSH: Hmmm. Is the SEC investigating WorldCom? 


PITT: Absolutely. 


BUSH: Who is a target of that investigation? 


PITT: Well, naturally! 


BUSH: When you complete that investigation, who will be named? 


PITT: For sure. Why not? He's in charge. 


BUSH: Who is? 


PITT: Yes. 


BUSH: All I'm tryin' to find out is, what's the guy's name at WorldCom. 


PITT: Oh, no -- wait a minute, don't switch 'em around. What is at
Enron. 


BUSH: I'm not askin' you who's at Enron. 


PITT: Who is at WorldCom. 


BUSH: I don't know. 


PITT: He's at Global Crossing -- now we're not talkin' 'bout him. 


BUSH: Now, how did I get to Global Crossing? 


PITT: You mentioned his name! 


BUSH: If I mentioned his name, who did I say is at Global Crossing? 


PITT: No -- Who's at WorldCom. 


BUSH: Never mind WorldCom. I want to know what's the guy's name at
Global Crossing. 


PITT: No -- What's at Enron. 


BUSH: I'm not askin' you who's at Enron. 


PITT: Who's at WorldCom. 


BUSH: I don't know. 


PITT: He's at Global Crossing. 


BUSH: Yikes! You got other names? 


PITT: Oh yes! 


BUSH: The CEO at Tyco? 


PITT: Why. 


BUSH: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask you. 


PITT: Well, I just thought I'd tell you. 


BUSH: All right, then tell me who's the guy at Tyco. 


PITT: Who is at WorldCom -- 


BUSH: Stay away from WorldCom! I wanna know what's the Tyco guy's name. 


PITT: What's at Enron. 


BUSH: I'm not askin' you who's at Enron. 


PITT: Who's at WorldCom. 


BUSH: I don't know. 


PITT and Bush: Global Crossing! 


BUSH: This is ridiculous. All I really wanted to know is who's at
WorldCom. Why? I don't know. He's at Global Crossing and I don't give a
darn! 


PITT: What was that? 


BUSH: I said I don't give a darn! 


PITT: Oh, he's at Xerox. 


BUSH: Clear as crystal, Harvey. Keep up the good work at the SEC. 


PITT: Any time, Mr. President. 

 
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman: Where's the self-help
section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.  Henny
Youngman.


 

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<DIV><SPAN class=3D453390619-30062002><FONT face=3DArial>Folks, up =
front, I=20
apologize deeply for going off topic here.&nbsp; So if "off-topic" =
offends you,=20
hit the delete key now.&nbsp; It's a great way to end the Andersen =
bashing, once=20
and for all.&nbsp; Below is an item&nbsp;</FONT></SPAN><SPAN=20
class=3D453390619-30062002><FONT face=3DArial>by a columnist in this =
morning's St.=20
Petersburg Times.&nbsp; After you read it, I may have stopped laughing =
enough to=20
help you up off the floor.&nbsp; </FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=3D453390619-30062002><FONT =
face=3DArial></FONT></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=3D453390619-30062002><FONT =
face=3DArial>Duke</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=3D453390619-30062002><FONT =
face=3DArial></FONT></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=3D453390619-30062002><FONT =
face=3DArial>*****</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=3D453390619-30062002><FONT face=3DArial>
<P>In the spirit of comic relief (and with apologies to Abbott and =
Costello's=20
famous "Who's on first?" baseball routine), imagine this top-level =
exchange=20
between two reluctant regulators on U.S. business practices: President =
Bush and=20
SEC Commissioner Pitt.=20
<P>BUSH: Now look, Harvey, I'm the head of the free world. The only way =
we're=20
going to clean up this business mess and get on with our war on =
terrorism is to=20
find out who's doing what in corporate America. So go ahead and tell me =
some of=20
their names.=20
<P>PITT: Yes sir, Mr. President. We have Who's at WorldCom, What's at =
Enron, I=20
Don't Know's at Global Crossing.=20
<P>BUSH: That's what I wanna find out.=20
<P>PITT: I say Who's at WorldCom, What's at Enron, I Don't Know's at =
Global=20
Crossing.=20
<P>BUSH: You know the fellows' names?=20
<P>PITT: Certainly!=20
<P>BUSH: Well, then who's at WorldCom?=20
<P>PITT: Yes!=20
<P>BUSH: I mean the fellow's name!=20
<P>PITT: Who!=20
<P>BUSH: The guy at WorldCom!=20
<P>PITT: Who is at WorldCom!=20
<P>BUSH: Now whaddya askin' me for?=20
<P>PITT: I'm telling you, Who is at WorldCom.=20
<P>BUSH: Hmmm. Is the SEC investigating WorldCom?=20
<P>PITT: Absolutely.=20
<P>BUSH: Who is a target of that investigation?=20
<P>PITT: Well, naturally!=20
<P>BUSH: When you complete that investigation, who will be named?=20
<P>PITT: For sure. Why not? He's in charge.=20
<P>BUSH: Who is?=20
<P>PITT: Yes.=20
<P>BUSH: All I'm tryin' to find out is, what's the guy's name at =
WorldCom.=20
<P>PITT: Oh, no -- wait a minute, don't switch 'em around. What is at =
Enron.=20
<P>BUSH: I'm not askin' you who's at Enron.=20
<P>PITT: Who is at WorldCom.=20
<P>BUSH: I don't know.=20
<P>PITT: He's at Global Crossing -- now we're not talkin' 'bout him.=20
<P>BUSH: Now, how did I get to Global Crossing?=20
<P>PITT: You mentioned his name!=20
<P>BUSH: If I mentioned his name, who did I say is at Global Crossing?=20
<P>PITT: No -- Who's at WorldCom.=20
<P>BUSH: Never mind WorldCom. I want to know what's the guy's name at =
Global=20
Crossing.=20
<P>PITT: No -- What's at Enron.=20
<P>BUSH: I'm not askin' you who's at Enron.=20
<P>PITT: Who's at WorldCom.=20
<P>BUSH: I don't know.=20
<P>PITT: He's at Global Crossing.=20
<P>BUSH: Yikes! You got other names?=20
<P>PITT: Oh yes!=20
<P>BUSH: The CEO at Tyco?=20
<P>PITT: Why.=20
<P>BUSH: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask you.=20
<P>PITT: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.=20
<P>BUSH: All right, then tell me who's the guy at Tyco.=20
<P>PITT: Who is at WorldCom --=20
<P>BUSH: Stay away from WorldCom! I wanna know what's the Tyco guy's =
name.=20
<P>PITT: What's at Enron.=20
<P>BUSH: I'm not askin' you who's at Enron.=20
<P>PITT: Who's at WorldCom.=20
<P>BUSH: I don't know.=20
<P>PITT and Bush: Global Crossing!=20
<P>BUSH: This is ridiculous. All I really wanted to know is who's at =
WorldCom.=20
Why? I don't know. He's at Global Crossing and I don't give a darn!=20
<P>PITT: What was that?=20
<P>BUSH: I said I don't give a darn!=20
<P>PITT: Oh, he's at Xerox.=20
<P>BUSH: Clear as crystal, Harvey. Keep up the good work at the SEC.=20
<P>PITT: Any time, Mr. President. </P></FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV><FONT size=3D2>
<P align=3Dleft>I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman: Where's =
the=20
self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the =
purpose.&nbsp;=20
Henny Youngman.</P></FONT>
<DIV align=3Dleft><IMG alt=3D"" hspace=3D0 =
src=3D"cid:453390619@30062002-0052"=20
align=3Dbaseline border=3D0></DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV></BODY></HTML>

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