[CANSLIM] Completely off topic, but funny

From: "Tom Worley" <stkguru@bellsouth.net>
Subject: [CANSLIM] Completely off topic, but funny
Date: Wed, 25 Sep 2002 08:06:19 -0400
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For those like me that are prone for putting foot in mouth before =
putting brain in gear, it was nice to start my day knowing I had =
company.



You'll feel brilliant after you read these quotes...I did  =20

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would =
not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were =
supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live =
forever, which is why I would not live forever." --Miss Alabama in the =
1994 Miss USA contest.=20

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the =
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but =
not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey=20

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of =
your life." --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson =
for the federal anti-smoking campaign.=20

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." =
- --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.=20

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates =
in the country." --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.=20

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are =
the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of =
subpoenaed documents.=20

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and =
I'm just the one to do it." --A congressional candidate in Texas.=20

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. =
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians =
were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne=20

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies =
manager, Danny Ozark=20

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities =
in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President=20

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle=20

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or =
another." --George Bush, US President=20

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" =
- --Lee Iacocca=20

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from =
the truth. I assisted in furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver =
North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.=20

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like =
Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports =
analyst.=20

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of =
people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.=20

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, =
President=20

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al =
Gore, VP=20

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." =
- --Keppel Enderbery=20

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we =
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply =
if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social =
Services, Greenville, South Carolina=20

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as =
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And =
the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark =
S. Fowler, FCC Chairman=20

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<DIV><FONT face=3DArial>For those like me that are prone for putting =
foot in mouth=20
before putting brain in gear, it was nice to start my day knowing I had=20
company.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><BR>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial"><FONT face=3Darial,helvetica><FONT =
lang=3D0=20
style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3D"Times New Roman" =
color=3D#000000 size=3D4=20
FAMILY=3D"SERIF"><B>You'll feel brilliant after you read these=20
quotes...</FONT><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff"=20
face=3D"Times New Roman" color=3D#000000 size=3D5 FAMILY=3D"SERIF">I =
did</FONT><FONT=20
lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3D"Times New Roman" =
color=3D#000000=20
size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SERIF">&nbsp;&nbsp; <BR><BR>Question: If you could =
live forever,=20
would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should =
not live=20
forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live =

forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live =
forever."=20
- --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. <BR><BR>"Whenever I watch =
TV and=20
see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I =
mean=20
I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death =
and=20
stuff." --Mariah Carey <BR><BR>"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've =
lost a=20
very important part of your life." --Brooke Shields, during an interview =
to=20
become spokesperson for the federal anti-smoking campaign. <BR><BR>"I've =
never=20
had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." --Winston Bennett, =

University of Kentucky basketball forward. <BR><BR>"Outside of the =
killings,=20
Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." --Mayor =
Marion=20
Barry, Washington, DC. <BR><BR>"I'm not going to have some reporters =
pawing=20
through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting =
on the=20
release of subpoenaed documents. <BR><BR>"That lowdown scoundrel =
deserves to be=20
kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." --A =
congressional=20
candidate in Texas. <BR><BR>"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this =
great=20
country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed =
new land,=20
and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John =
Wayne=20
<BR><BR>"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia =
Phillies=20
manager, Danny Ozark <BR><BR>"It isn't pollution that's harming the =
environment.=20
It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, =
Vice=20
President <BR><BR>"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." =
- --Dan=20
Quayle <BR><BR>"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go =
one way=20
or another." --George Bush, US President <BR><BR>"We've got to pause and =
ask=20
ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca <BR><BR>"I was =
provided=20
with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I =
assisted in=20
furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra=20
testimony. <BR><BR>"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A =
genius is=20
a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback =
&amp;=20
sports analyst. <BR><BR>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply =
exclude=20
certain types of people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor. =
<BR><BR>"If=20
we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President =

<BR><BR>"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not =
occur." --Al=20
Gore, VP <BR><BR>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from=20
overseas." --Keppel Enderbery <BR><BR>"Your food stamps will be stopped=20
effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. =
May God=20
bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."=20
- --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina <BR><BR>"If =
somebody=20
has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed =
and it=20
will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, =
when they=20
wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman=20
<BR></DIV></B></FONT></FONT></BODY></HTML>

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