Re: [CANSLIM] Completely off topic, but funny


From: "Jim Daniels" <jdan@gte.net>
Subject: Re: [CANSLIM] Completely off topic, but funny
Date: Wed, 25 Sep 2002 08:49:51 -0400

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Tom,

These are hilarious.  I put my foot in my mouth occasionaly, but only a =
few people notice.  I'm glad someone doesn't record my every word.

Jim


  ----- Original Message -----=20
  From: Tom Worley=20
  To: CANSLIM=20
  Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 8:06 AM
  Subject: [CANSLIM] Completely off topic, but funny


  For those like me that are prone for putting foot in mouth before =
putting brain in gear, it was nice to start my day knowing I had =
company.

  =20

  You'll feel brilliant after you read these quotes...I did  =20

  Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I =
would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if =
we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we =
cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." --Miss =
Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.=20

  "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the =
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but =
not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey=20

  "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of =
your life." --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson =
for the federal anti-smoking campaign.=20

  "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." =
- --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.=20

  "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates =
in the country." --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.=20

  "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We =
are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of =
subpoenaed documents.=20

  "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, =
and I'm just the one to do it." --A congressional candidate in Texas.=20

  "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from =
them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the =
Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne=20

  "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies =
manager, Danny Ozark=20

  "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the =
impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice =
President=20

  "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle=20

  "It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or =
another." --George Bush, US President=20

  "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" =
- --Lee Iacocca=20

  "I was provided with additional input that was radically different =
from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver =
North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.=20

  "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy =
like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports =
analyst.=20

  "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of =
people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.=20

  "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, =
President=20

  "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al =
Gore, VP=20

  "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." =
- --Keppel Enderbery=20

  "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we =
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply =
if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social =
Services, Greenville, South Carolina=20

  "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as =
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And =
the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark =
S. Fowler, FCC Chairman=20

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<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Tom,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>These are hilarious.&nbsp; I put my =
foot in my=20
mouth occasionaly, but only a few people notice.&nbsp; I'm glad someone =
doesn't=20
record my every word.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Jim</FONT></DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
  <DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
  <DIV=20
  style=3D"BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: =
black"><B>From:</B>=20
  <A title=3Dstkguru@bellsouth.net =
href=3D"mailto:stkguru@bellsouth.net">Tom=20
  Worley</A> </DIV>
  <DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A =
title=3Dcanslim@lists.xmission.com=20
  href=3D"mailto:canslim@lists.xmission.com">CANSLIM</A> </DIV>
  <DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Wednesday, September 25, =
2002 8:06=20
  AM</DIV>
  <DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [CANSLIM] Completely =
off topic,=20
  but funny</DIV>
  <DIV><BR></DIV>
  <DIV><FONT face=3DArial>For those like me that are prone for putting =
foot in=20
  mouth before putting brain in gear, it was nice to start my day =
knowing I had=20
  company.</FONT></DIV>
  <DIV><BR>&nbsp;</DIV>
  <DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
  <DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial"><FONT face=3Darial,helvetica><FONT =
lang=3D0=20
  style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3D"Times New Roman" =
color=3D#000000 size=3D4=20
  FAMILY=3D"SERIF"><B>You'll feel brilliant after you read these=20
  quotes...</FONT><FONT lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff"=20
  face=3D"Times New Roman" color=3D#000000 size=3D5 FAMILY=3D"SERIF">I =
did</FONT><FONT=20
  lang=3D0 style=3D"BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=3D"Times New Roman" =
color=3D#000000=20
  size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SERIF">&nbsp;&nbsp; <BR><BR>Question: If you could =
live=20
  forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because =
we=20
  should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, =
then we=20
  would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would =
not live=20
  forever." --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. =
<BR><BR>"Whenever I=20
  watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't =
help but=20
  cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those =
flies and=20
  death and stuff." --Mariah Carey <BR><BR>"Smoking kills. If you're =
killed,=20
  you've lost a very important part of your life." --Brooke Shields, =
during an=20
  interview to become spokesperson for the federal anti-smoking =
campaign.=20
  <BR><BR>"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my =
body."=20
  --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. =
<BR><BR>"Outside=20
  of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the =
country."=20
  --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC. <BR><BR>"I'm not going to have =
some=20
  reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary =
Clinton=20
  commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents. <BR><BR>"That =
lowdown=20
  scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just =
the one to=20
  do it." --A congressional candidate in Texas. <BR><BR>"I don't feel we =
did=20
  wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great =
numbers of=20
  people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to =
keep it=20
  for themselves." --John Wayne <BR><BR>"Half this game is ninety =
percent=20
  mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark <BR><BR>"It =
isn't=20
  pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our =
air and=20
  water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President <BR><BR>"I love=20
  California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle =
<BR><BR>"It's no=20
  exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another." =
- --George=20
  Bush, US President <BR><BR>"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How =
much=20
  clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca <BR><BR>"I was provided with =
additional=20
  input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in =
furthering=20
  that version." --Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony. =

  <BR><BR>"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a =
guy=20
  like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &amp; =
sports=20
  analyst. <BR><BR>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude =
certain=20
  types of people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor. =
<BR><BR>"If we=20
  don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President=20
  <BR><BR>"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not =
occur." --Al=20
  Gore, VP <BR><BR>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from =

  overseas." --Keppel Enderbery <BR><BR>"Your food stamps will be =
stopped=20
  effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. =
May God=20
  bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your =
circumstances."=20
  --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina =
<BR><BR>"If=20
  somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they =
go to=20
  bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next =

  morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. =
Fowler, FCC=20
  Chairman <BR></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></B></FONT></FONT></BODY></HTML>

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Next Article (by Subject): Re: [CANSLIM] Completely off topic, but funny "Norman"
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