Go to Jeff Salisbury LWGate Home Page.From: "NANCY POLCARO" <ZILLAGIRL@msn.com>
Subject: [CANSLIM] Fw: "COWS" - Some I've seen, but some are new to me.............
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2003 00:24:30 -0800
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- ------=_NextPart_001_0007_01C2D163.F16FD200 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable I will try again because I really hope you folks laugh half as much as I = did when I saw it. We all could use a laugh I think. Pay close attenti= on to American Corporation-It explains everything we have been going in t= he market-I cant believe I didn't see it all before. Hope you enjoy Nan= cy - ----- Original Message ----- From: CBenz777@aol.com Sent: Monday, February 10, 2003 5:29 PM To: lilalxndr@hotmail.com; ALLARDPEG@aol.com; TereandBete@aol.com; JBisho= p922@aol.com; barneyb@charter.net; BunkBen@aol.com; CJP-NHRECORDS@att.net= ; LadyJRanch@aol.com; marilyn@ridgenet.net; Star1701D@aol.com; ddiener00@= hotmail.com; Reltrst@aol.com; Ramrunner1948@aol.com; alhrs@charter.net; G= VHINT@aol.com; mholguin@ucla.edu; DSHOWSE45@aol.com; maureen.j.hussey@boe= ing.com; donnahutch@juno.com; MICHELERENEEJANS@aol.com; vljansen@ShellOPU= S.com; Ksuj6636@aol.com; mmoore51@cox.net; MMoore3508@msn.com; NitaFreema= n@HotMail.Com; Sea45Bug@aol.com; mulmul38@hotmail.com; zillagirl@msn.com;= TRICKIE1@aol.com; GYPSIEBJ2@aol.com; cosyps@cox.net; Haydeevt@aol.com; d= uchmuff@commspeed.net; deanna@centurytrans.com Subject: "COWS" - Some I've seen, but some are new to me............. Subject: Two Cows =20 > > =20 > > This is a really clever version on the differences between different =20 > > political philosophies : =20 > > =20 > > =20 > > DEMOCRAT: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > Your neighbor has none. =20 > > You feel guilty for being successful. =20 > > You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows,forcing you t= o =20 > > sell =20 > > one to raise money to pay the tax. =20 > > The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give = it to =20 > > your neighbor. =20 > > You feel righteous. =20 > > Barbara Streisand sings for you. =20 > > =20 > > SOCIALIST: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. =20 > > You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. =20 > > =20 > > REPUBLICAN: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > Your neighbor has none. =20 > > So? =20 > > =20 > > COMMUNIST: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > The government seizes both and provides you with milk. =20 > > You wait in line for hours to get it. =20 > > It is expensive and sour. =20 > > =20 > > CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. =20 > > =20 > > DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to suppor= t a =20 > > man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from = your =20 > > government. =20 > > =20 > > BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you= for =20 > > the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain. =20 > > =20 > > AMERICAN CORPORATION: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.= =20 > > You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. =20 > > You are surprised when one cow drops dead. =20 > > You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized a= nd =20 > > are reducing expenses. =20 > > Your stock goes up. =20 > > =20 > > FRENCH CORPORATION: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > You go on strike because you want three cows. =20 > > You go to lunch. =20 > > Life is good. =20 > > =20 > > =20 > > JAPANESE CORPORATION: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow a= nd =20 > > produce twenty times the milk. =20 > > They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. =20 > > Most are at the top of their class at cow school. =20 > > =20 > > GERMAN CORPORATION: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give =20 > > excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. =20 > > Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. =20 > > =20 > > ITALIAN CORPORATION: =20 > > You have two cows but you don't know where they are. =20 > > While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. =20 > > You break for lunch. =20 > > Life is good. =20 > > =20 > > =20 > > RUSSIAN CORPORATION: =20 > > You have two cows. =20 > > You count them and learn you have five cows. =20 > > You have some more vodka. =20 > > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. =20 > > You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. =20 > > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. =20 > > You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months. =20 > > The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. =20 > > =20 > > =20 > > TALIBAN CORPORATION: =20 > > You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. =20 > > You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private p= arts. =20 > > Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were i= n the =20 > > hospital. =20 > > =20 > > =20 > > POLISH CORPORATION: =20 > > You have two bulls. =20 > > Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. =20 > > =20 > > =20 > > FLORIDA CORPORATION: =20 > > You have a black cow and a brown cow. =20 > > Everyone votes for the best looking one. =20 > > Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black on= e. =20 > > Some people vote for both. =20 > > Some people vote for neither. =20 > > Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. =20 > > Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is =20 > > thebest-looking one. =20 > > =20 > > =20 > > NEW YORK CORPORATION: =20 > > You have fifteen million cows. =20 > > You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you p= ick =20 > > some cow from Arkansas. =20 > > =20 > > =20 - ------=_NextPart_001_0007_01C2D163.F16FD200 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable <HTML><BODY STYLE=3D"font:10pt verdana; border:none;"><DIV>I will try aga= in because I really hope you folks laugh half as much as I did when I saw= it. We all could use a laugh I think. Pay close attent= ion to American Corporation-It explains everything we have been going in = the market-I cant believe I didn't see it all before. Hope you= enjoy Nancy</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <BLOCKQUOTE style=3D"PADDING-R= IGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px = solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> <DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt Arial">----- Original= Message -----</DIV> <DIV style=3D"BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt Arial;= COLOR: black"><B>From:</B> CBenz777@aol.com</DIV> <DIV style=3D"FONT: 10= pt Arial"><B>Sent:</B> Monday, February 10, 2003 5:29 PM</DIV> <DIV style= =3D"FONT: 10pt Arial"><B>To:</B> lilalxndr@hotmail.com; ALLARDPEG@aol.com= ; TereandBete@aol.com; JBishop922@aol.com; barneyb@charter.net; BunkBen@a= ol.com; CJP-NHRECORDS@att.net; LadyJRanch@aol.com; marilyn@ridgenet.net; = Star1701D@aol.com; ddiener00@hotmail.com; Reltrst@aol.com; Ramrunner1948@= aol.com; alhrs@charter.net; GVHINT@aol.com; mholguin@ucla.edu; DSHOWSE45@= aol.com; maureen.j.hussey@boeing.com; donnahutch@juno.com; MICHELERENEEJA= NS@aol.com; vljansen@ShellOPUS.com; Ksuj6636@aol.com; mmoore51@cox.net; M= Moore3508@msn.com; NitaFreeman@HotMail.Com; Sea45Bug@aol.com; mulmul38@ho= tmail.com; zillagirl@msn.com; TRICKIE1@aol.com; GYPSIEBJ2@aol.com; cosyps= @cox.net; Haydeevt@aol.com; duchmuff@commspeed.net; deanna@centurytrans.c= om</DIV> <DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt Arial"><B>Subject:</B> "COWS" - Some I'= ve seen, but some are new to me.............</DIV> <DIV> </DIV><FONT= face=3Darial,helvetica><FONT size=3D2>Subject: Two Cows <BR>> > <B= R>> > This is a really clever version on the differences between di= fferent <BR>> > political philosophies : <BR>> > <BR>> >= ; <BR>> > DEMOCRAT: <BR>> > You have two cows. <BR>> > = Your neighbor has none. <BR>> > You feel guilty for being successfu= l. <BR>> > You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows,= forcing you to <BR>> > sell <BR>> > one to raise money to pay= the tax. <BR>> > The people you voted for then take the tax money,= buy a cow and give it to <BR>> > your neighbor. <BR>> > You = feel righteous. <BR>> > Barbara Streisand sings for you. <BR>> &= gt; <BR>> > SOCIALIST: <BR>> > You have two cows. <BR>> &g= t; The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. <BR>> > = You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. <BR>> > <= BR>> > REPUBLICAN: <BR>> > You have two cows. <BR>> > Y= our neighbor has none. <BR>> > So? <BR>> > <BR>> > COMM= UNIST: <BR>> > You have two cows. <BR>> > The government seiz= es both and provides you with milk. <BR>> > You wait in line for ho= urs to get it. <BR>> > It is expensive and sour. <BR>> > <BR>= > > CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: <BR>> > You have two cows. <B= R>> > You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. <BR>> = > <BR>> > DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: <BR>> > You have two = cows. <BR>> > The government taxes you to the point you have to sel= l both to support a <BR>> > man in a foreign country who has only o= ne cow, which was a gift from your <BR>> > government. <BR>> >= ; <BR>> > BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: <BR>> > You have two c= ows. <BR>> > The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the = other, pays you for <BR>> > the milk, and then pours the milk down = the drain. <BR>> > <BR>> > AMERICAN CORPORATION: <BR>> >= ; You have two cows. <BR>> > You sell one, lease it back to yoursel= f and do an IPO on the 2nd one. <BR>> > You force the 2 cows to pro= duce the milk of four cows. <BR>> > You are surprised when one cow = drops dead. <BR>> > You spin an announcement to the analysts statin= g you have downsized and <BR>> > are reducing expenses. <BR>> &g= t; Your stock goes up. <BR>> > <BR>> > FRENCH CORPORATION: <B= R>> > You have two cows. <BR>> > You go on strike because you= want three cows. <BR>> > You go to lunch. <BR>> > Life is go= od. <BR>> > <BR>> > <BR>> > JAPANESE CORPORATION: <BR>&= gt; > You have two cows. <BR>> > You redesign them so they are o= ne-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and <BR>> > produce twenty tim= es the milk. <BR>> > They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded t= rains. <BR>> > Most are at the top of their class at cow school. <B= R>> > <BR>> > GERMAN CORPORATION: <BR>> > You have two = cows. <BR>> > You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots o= f beer, give <BR>> > excellent quality milk, and run a hundred mile= s an hour. <BR>> > Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacat= ion per year. <BR>> > <BR>> > ITALIAN CORPORATION: <BR>> &= gt; You have two cows but you don't know where they are. <BR>> > Wh= ile ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. <BR>> > You break fo= r lunch. <BR>> > Life is good. <BR>> > <BR>> > <BR>>= > RUSSIAN CORPORATION: <BR>> > You have two cows. <BR>> >= You count them and learn you have five cows. <BR>> > You have some= more vodka. <BR>> > You count them again and learn you have 42 cow= s. <BR>> > You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. <BR>>= ; > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. <BR>> = > You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months. <BR>> &g= t; The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. <= BR>> > <BR>> > <BR>> > TALIBAN CORPORATION: <BR>> &g= t; You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. <BR>> > You= don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. <= BR>> > Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while th= ey were in the <BR>> > hospital. <BR>> > <BR>> > <BR>&g= t; > POLISH CORPORATION: <BR>> > You have two bulls. <BR>> &g= t; Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. <BR= >> > <BR>> > <BR>> > FLORIDA CORPORATION: <BR>> >= You have a black cow and a brown cow. <BR>> > Everyone votes for t= he best looking one. <BR>> > Some of the people who like the brown = one best, vote for the black one. <BR>> > Some people vote for both= . <BR>> > Some people vote for neither. <BR>> > Some people c= an't figure out how to vote at all. <BR>> > Finally, a bunch of guy= s from out-of-state tell you which is <BR>> > thebest-looking one. = <BR>> > <BR>> > <BR>> > NEW YORK CORPORATION: <BR>> = > You have fifteen million cows. <BR>> > You have to choose whic= h one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick <BR>> > some cow = from Arkansas. <BR>> > <BR>> > <BR></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE></FONT= ></BODY></HTML> - ------=_NextPart_001_0007_01C2D163.F16FD200-- - - - -To subscribe/unsubscribe, email "majordomo@xmission.com" - -In the email body, write "subscribe canslim" or - -"unsubscribe canslim". 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