This section will cover the last half Year (of which I haven't written much) as it happened, I was too busy living my history and had no time to record it. The following will center around my activities and relationship with the newest and most important improvement to my life and future, Miss Renee Call.
[Written] November 14, 1978. Early reflections of our developing love. I wish now that I would have kept up on all that was happening with us because almost every two days something new developed with us. I didn't have any idea where things would end up or I would have kept a daily record.
I remember Renee was the 69th branch chorister for Sunday school. This made a good impression on me, she used to stop us and give us little speeches about the music. I was impressed with this because I like people who are somewhat perfectionists. (this was the Winter of 1977). Renee had a strong voice. I remember her singing once or twice in church, I liked the sound of her voice but I wanted to go up to her and tell her "I like the way you sing and I would like to give you some advice on how to sing better," but I chickened out. I thought she was kind of cute and I would have like to have asked her out but she was going with this big dancer, Dave Wilson.
When Denise Wotring moved into my branch I started going to my own branch more often and stopped checking out the girls in other branches (this wasn't working anyway). I don't remember noticing Renee too often. One time her sister, Juleen, came for a week and I wanted Denise to be in my movie for my communications class. When it came time to film she was gone. The only one home was Juleen. (Juleen's sister LuAnn had asked me and others to make sure she had a good time and didn't sit home all day,) anyway I hadn't had a fun date in a long time so I thought I might get to know Juleen and have some fun. So Juleen starred in my movie with my roommate Steve Shaw. This was my second movie of the semester. I showed Denise and some of her roommate both of the movies to get their impressions.
I had taken some pictures of Denise for my Communications 263 class. They turned out really great so I was over at Denise's apartment every day or so to show them the latest print. I had C.D.F.R. 360 with Denise so I had her read one class paper of mine "What I am Looking For in a Wife". She replied that "no such person exists."
It turned out in a kind of ironic way that this person who seemingly didn't exist was one of Denise's roommates and good friends. At the time I was working at the hospital on Sunday's and on some Mondays so I wasn't able to go to Family Home Evening and get to know those in my family home evening group. (LuAnn, Renee, Denise & 2 other girls) I was also, at the time, kind of interested in LuAnn. Through LuAnn and Denise I met Renee and I remember talking to her about the trophy's she had won at dance competition in Salt Lake. At that time I wanted to date her but she was still going with Dave, so I waited. He finally went on a mission, I thought "Oh great, here is my chance to ask her out." I didn't see her for a few weeks, she was gone to Idaho and other places. The next thing I knew she was engaged. But this didn't stop the interest I had in her.
I was at her apartment
once and she was telling me and mostly Dan Rusch about two little
(young) sisters of Renee's fiancée, John, were coming down
and she wanted to line them up. I gave out all sorts of hints
about liking blind dates and always having fun. Finally she asked
me to go with one of them. When we went out I didn't think that
John was good enough for Renee. We had a triple date to Bye Bye
Birdie and then we went to Jimbas (I had some aqua minerale for
the first time since my mission). I couldn't keep my eyes off
Renee, I hoped that no one noticed. Three days later John broke
off their engagement, because he didn't think she was good enough.
That Tuesday we (Arlene, Teeny, Renee, and I went to see the Jungle
Book. The next day Renee took me to the Opera and we held hands
and I felt really good being with her.
Our second official date and our last one of that summer (because she went home to work). I wanted to have a creative fun romantic date, I asked her out for the following Friday. [see check, that I apparently kept] I wanted to get to know Renee better, and have an experience together because I know when people get involved in doing something together the real person comes out and they usually grow closer. Some dates the couple doesn't get to know each other very well, they sit together watching the action instead of being a part of the action. I though that going canoeing would be just the ticket for us. Well she said yes for 5:00 p.m. She was to bring the potato chips and sandwiches and I was to get the canoe and fishing gear. I wanted to be all loaded by 5:00. As usual it didn't go quite as planned and I had to pick Renee up and go over to get the canoe.
We went to my parent's house and got the yellow truck (that wasn't working very well, it was idling too fast and sounded like an old diesel). We went to BYU rental to pick up the canoe, I ran into John Wiess my old art teacher and he told me the exact location and drew a map of where to go to get the fresh water fish. I went around to the back of the shop to get the - canoe. The shopkeeper and I took it out the big side doors, I waited for Renee to come around the side to help me carry it to the truck.
After awhile she didn't come so I carried it to the truck myself. It wasn't heavy but it was awkward and I could have used her help (at first I was unsure about being offensive to her but now instead of wondering I just ask her what she thinks and she tells me. I like it better this way). After many struggles I got the canoe in the back of the truck. I didn't have it tied down in the best way but I didn't think it would matter.
Renee soon came with the paddles. We got started down the road about to the physical plant when my raincoat slipped out from under the boat, where I had put it to keep the boat from scratching the paint off the truck. When we turned the corner the canoe started to fall off and I had to hold it on with my left hand and turn with my right. That left no hand to shift with. I managed to get the truck up to the health center parking lot without the canoe falling out. I was embarrassed to say the least. Renee ran back to get the raincoat while I tried to tie the canoe back on the way I should have done in the first place.
When we started out again I realized I didn't know how to get to Utah Lake. I had been their once before late at night but I didn't drive. It seared to me that it was straight out on 9th north so I went that way. After a while it turned North and South. Remembering that at my house the Provo River is on my right so if we hadn't crossed it then we must turn right to get to the place where the Provo River enters into the lake. (The only think wrong with this logic is that we had crossed the Provo River back on 8th North by DHI. After traveling for fifteen minutes without crossing the river I began to worry. (Se were about to Lehi) Again I was so embarrassed but tried not to show it. We stopped a farmer for directions but they were no help. We asked another and they told us that we had to go out center street. Then I remembered how I got there before. We finally arrived at the lake two hours later than we had planned. We put in as far up stream as the river met the road. The water was slow and almost still. We paddled up until the water started to go fast (white caps).
I wanted to go up further but we couldn't paddle fast enough to go against the current. I tried to pull the rope on the shore and pull the canoe up past the first rapids. I wasn't able to because of trees along the shore. My next great idea was to anchor the boat in the middle of the stream with the milk jug full of sand that I had brought. I tied it to a rope and tossed it into a nice place in the current. The air in the jug made it float. I filled it with water and it still floated. There was a clam spot across the river next to a dead tree, which was next to the main stream. We went up stream and were going to shoot the rapids and go racing across the river to the calm spot before the current could pull up down the river. This was really exciting.
At first Renee was reluctant but did just great. We made it and I was really impressed with Renee, she didn't seem the dumb blond helpless type. (But when it is time to be feminine she is almost too much like a typical, fickle woman [written 1978!]). We drifted in the fast current, the water risking by as we stayed in the same place tied to the dead tree. By then we had worked up an appetite. We ate a little picnic. It was a really fun and unique date. I tried a little fishing. I got the boat in just the right place in the stream, just as the sun was starting to set. I sat back with my arm around Renee and was thinking "this is just perfect." Within twenty seconds, wouldn't you know it, some high school kids found their way down a dirt road and parked right next to us on the shore. They were parking in the true sense of the word, (i.e. kissing in a parked car).
Since we were no longer alone I concentrated more on my fishing. The fish were jumping but I was afraid that they were carp. Suddenly Renee saw a big fish next to the boat one-foot away. I looked at it and could tell it was not a carp but I didn't know what it was. I was being ever so careful not to scare it away. I bated cheese on the hook and slowly dangled it in front of his face. He just sat there. I thought that he might be dead, but then I saw him move slowly. I next got a plastic worm and tried to hook it by sliding it down one side and then I would pull it up slowly trying to catch it in the mouth.
After five minutes of trying to catch I was getting impatient. I didn't know what to do. What a fisherman! It takes me fifteen minutes to catch a fish that is only one foot away. I finally caught it in the edge of his lip. This startled me because he was a big fish. I didn't bring a net and couldn't pull it out or it might break off. As soon as I started to reach out to get my finger in its mouth I jumped back and gave a holler. I had never caught a bass before and it had a big huge mouth and teeth and big pink gills. I reached in the water to get it. As I did he would open his mouth and gross me out. I would yell and it would splash and then Renee would scream and than I would jump again. I finally lifted it out into the boat and then I saw why it wouldn't bite.
It was blind in one eye. It was so gross looking I didn't want to take the hook out but I did. The fish started flipping all over the boat. I jumped back and than I felt dumb for being scared. I tried killing it by hitting it with the pliers, it bled all over, which wasn't like any other fish I had ever seen. I finally put it in a sack and put it in the front of the boat. By now it was almost dark. I sat back with Renee at my side and was all relaxed from this embarrassing moment. Even though the atmosphere was romantic and finally calm I was still a little on edge because I was thinking about kissing her. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. It was only the second date but that hadn't stopped me before. I wasn't sure how she was going to react. I waited for just the right time and then I leaned over close and THUMP!
THUMP! flop, flop,
flop. I about jumped out of my skin and the boat. It caught me
off guard. I thought it was dead by now (the fish). I gave out
a yell as if I had been stabbed in the dark. Than I realized it
was that stupid fish again. Now I really felt like a fool. I'll
never forget that date. I thought I had reached the height of
embarrassment at the start of the date but I reached an all time
high by the end of the date. We started paddling back to the truck.
It was really dark, Renee was afraid of canoeing in the dark and
so was I. Every time a fish would jump I would too. We loaded
back up the boat into the truck, and then we listened to the radio
and stuff. When it was time to go I was afraid that the battery
would be dead but for once it worked out for the best.
We got home about one o'clock and she had to go home to Renton, Washington in the morning at 7:00. Right before we said goodnight she made her first big mistake. She said "I'll see you in the fall, until then let me give you my address so you can write me." I was already interested in her and I interpreted this to mean that she was interested in me. This was great news for me because I had not been interested in a person who was interested in me in a long time. When I become interested in someone I don't change my mind to give up until I'm sure that nothing good could ever work out.
I constrained myself to wait three days before writing her thinking that she was interested in me. I wrote a rather honest letter expressing my views and attempting to establish a more involved relationship. This, however, was just the opposite of what she wanted. She had only broken up from an engagement one and a half weeks ago and she wanted to go home and readjust her goals to finish school and to tour Europe, go on a mission and then think about dating seriously again, but not until. Her parents approved of this plan and reinforced her. Well she didn't write back soon. I started to doubt her intentions for giving me her address. At this time I spent a lot of time with her sister LuAnn and her old roommate Arlene. I was continuously asking about Renee and wanting to talk about only her. Everyone got tired of it but me.
Soon Arleen got a letter and I still hadn't. She wouldn't tell me all that Renee had written. I got a letter finally after what seemed months. The main point in her letter seemed to point out that she wanted to remain just friends. Love is blind. I missed her point. Again I wrote a very strong letter. Weeks went by. I wrote again and tried to take a more casual approach. She responded still the same. The summer was almost over when I wrote my fourth letter (and had received back two). I tried to give advice about lady missionaries (because my sister was one in my mission before me.) She wrote back fast to my surprise. She even liked my letter. I get to involved when I write.
I found out that Thursday afternoon I would have a week break from work. LuAnn was going back to Renton that Friday. I asked if I could go with her to her home for that week. We called that night to see if it would be okay. It was okay with her parents but Renee wasn't excited about it at all. She had a date one night and was going out to dinner with her grandparents and had her birthday on Friday the 15th. I hadn't dated anyone from the first time we had gone out and she had been dating Lane and others. Once during the summer LuAnn had gotten a letter from Renee's Mom. In it were pictures of Renee and Lane. Once when I came home from work I went over to LuAnn's, as usual I knocked. She said come in and because she was in the back room, while I was waiting for her to come out, I noticed some pictures on the table. Renee looked so happy with him. I sunk into the depths of despair. Only by divine providence did I endure and carry on in the pursuit of my "Pear of Great Price."
I ended up driving up to Don Hunsakers with LuAnn in her old car. We stayed at Don's until Monday morning. We had a lot of fun. We rode horses, sang and marry other relaxing things. I also ended up driving all the way to Renton. We left at seven and got there at eight the next night. The first day there I stayed home and made lasagna. The next day I previewed films at the University of Washington.
The next day Stephen and I went to get tickets to the King Tut exhibit and that evening the family all went except for Renee. On Renee's birthday we went out for pizza with her dad and mom, then Renee and I went to see "My Side of the Mountain Part Two." Later that night we stopped in at Sambo's for ice cream Sundays (also to see Juleen, [Renee's sister] who was working there. [LuAnn and Renee used to also work there) Renee asked for extra nuts and did she ever get extra. That was the first time that I learned that Renee really liked nuts. We went home and watched t.v. Renee's mom yelled at us to turn off the t.v. and go to bed. The next day I helped Renee's dad with the new bathroom that they were putting in. We got along really good. I got to know her family and had a fun time.
I flew back to Provo, then two days later Renee drove back with her dad. Since then not twenty-four hours have passed without us being together, until three days ago when I put her on a plane to go home for Thanksgiving. I just now got off the phone (Saturday, November 25th, 8:00 p.m.) from calling her. I sure miss her. I never thought I would find someone I was looking for, but I sure did and I'm sure glad!!!
Now back to the beginning of fall semester 1978. Renee, Denise, Marty, Steve, Connie, and I went down to Delta for Labor Day. We went water skiing for the second time this summer. (The first time was for the 4th of July.) My sister lives in Delta with her family. They have a trailer that we can stay in and a house right next to the trailer. The six of us all decided to sleep in the house that night because it was rather cold in the trailer. Renee and I ended up staying awake talking until six in the morning. This was a big step towards a very open and honest relationship (which we have maintained since then).
Our relationship took on a new aspect as far as her towards me. Also I felt closer than I ever felt to a girl. I could say anything I felt and was not afraid of being hurt. (I am sure she felt the same way. She slowly, at this time, started to take more interest in me.) Even though often times later she would turn away from me and not want to have anything to do with me, we could never deny the friendship and concern that we once shared, on a love seat far from home when a heart needed warmth and understanding. Another heart was touched while helping the first. She was helping me in ways others couldn't and because of that I have been able to lift her up when she was down.
Now Renee wasn't planning on getting involved with any guys. Her next big mistake (as far as not getting involved) was to let me talk her into taking Italian instead of Spanish. (When she goes to Italy sometime she will never regret learning Italian But shortly afterwards she regretted taking Italian because she needed me to help her and I was the only alternative. We ended up studying every day at 10:00 a.m. and most of the time at night from 9:00 to 10:00. All this extra time she spent with me started to rub off and she started to get more involved in the relationship. Up until a month ago I was the most committed in the relationship.
Every time things started to go well she would realize it and would try to stop it (the relationship) by saying "We can't get involved because I have to finish school and I'm not planning on getting serious for a long time." At times she would get discouraged about school or the indecision of whether to get involved or not or whether there were possibilities with Lane. We had marry talks and they would usually start with her feelings down and then would last until she felt good again, because I wouldn't leave her feeling bad. Sometimes this would be minutes and other times it would be hours. The Lane dilemma ended in an unexpected way. We had come to the conclusion that Renee should go to Rexburg to see him and see how things were. I was really worried because I thought that if she was to go up, he would surely be interested in Renee and be nice to her. Who wouldn't be? But still I decided that she should go up this particular weekend and see him so she could better judge her feelings.
Well about the day she was to call to make the arrangements for the trip she got a "Dear Jane" letter from Lane in the mail. I felt bad for Renee because I loved her and didn't like to see her hurt or rejected. She took it very well. Things changed a lot after that. Things have gone fairly fast for us, but then again we had a long way to come and things haven't gone as fast as some relationships around us. Renee had a new roommate at the start of the semester. She was a week late [starting school] because she hadn't come home off her mission yet. Within a week she was dating and in three weeks she was engaged to someone she had gone out with once and this weekend she is to be married and we are not even officially engaged yet.
It had been 6 months since I have dated anyone but Renee. It will be almost a year that I would not have dated anyone else by the time I get married. I wanted to ask her to marry me on my birthday but we hadn't solved the Lane dilemma yet. Speaking of my birthday it was a disaster. I wanted it to be special and so did she. We planned on going to Salt Lake City to the Ristorante Della Fontana, which I had heard so much about. I really didn't have the money to go out but I was going to try. On my way to get gas for the car I ran over a construction staple, a great big one, and I got a flat tire. Then when I got gas it was really cheap, too cheap. There must have been water in the gas because when I got out on the freeway I couldn't go past 55 and I was late then, it sounded like it was running out of gas and it wouldn't go faster than 40. I stopped several times to fix it but I couldn't, so we turned back to Provo.
When we got home we couldn't decide what to do. All the fancy restaurants were booked. We ended up going to Heaps and while ordering we were asked, "do you want garlic or French bread?" We both answered at the same moment, garlic, then we were asked "What type of soft drink?" We again answered in stereo "Red cream Soda". This made us laugh and finally helped to break the ice and we had fun in spite of all that had gone wrong. Later we parked up by the temple and talked. We then went to my parent's house and lay on the couch and watched t.v., until it went off the air. We finally ended up going to the Ristorante Della Fontata for preference. The spaghetti and ravioli and lasagna sauce wasn't cooked enough and it had too much oregano in it. I can do much better.)
The last week in October I felt like it was a good time to get engaged so I sold my camera and bought a ring. It is valued at around $1,000 and I got it through a real wholesaler for $320. I had a great plan for another great engagement, but Renee skipped a class so this didn't give me a chance to get things ready. I was planning on asking her the next day, Saturday the 28th. She thought that I was going to ask her on Sunday the 29th. Well anyway, on Friday the 27th I was in the dark room of the Banyon pre-exposing some black and white paper with the words, "Renee will you Marry Me?".
I was in the process of determining the correct exposure for a double exposure, of us together when I heard a knock at the door. I asked, "who is it?", and the answer was, "Renee, what are you doing?" Since I was in a hurry I was thinking Renee the Banyon Editor so I said just a minute I'll be going in just a minute and she said "Dove?" and I thought gee, why didn't she tell me she knew Italian. Then it hit me that this was "my" Renee. I hurried to put things away, then let her in and asked her if she had ever seen a picture printed before. She had not so I got a piece of paper that had been pre-exposed with the words "Renee WILL You Marry Me?". I exposed a portion of it with a picture of us. I started developing it and words started to come out faster than the picture of us. But worst of all the words were backwards. I hurriedly took it out and threw it away and tried to nonchalantly explain that it wasn't exposed right.
Then I tried to find some that was pre-exposed but I had gotten them all mixed up in the dark and couldn't tell the difference so I tried another one with the picture. Nothing happened. Next I couldn't expose a picture on them because I couldn't tell if I had pre-exposed the top or the bottom so I had to get out the press on letters without Renee seeing and expose another sheet. This wasn't easy. Then I gave it to her and told her to develop it.
I stood back and watched and waited and waited and waited and waited until finally I said, "Well did anything develop?" She was surprised, but not at all thrilled. (I had asked too soon). She said she couldn't answer until Sunday, but she kept consoling me "Honey, I didn't say no, I just can't say yes yet." Later I showed her the ring. She loved it. It was just the same as the one that we had seen at Bullock & Losie's a week before but it was a better quality diamond. I soon found out why she was having trouble saying yes, her parents (mostly her dad) were really giving her the pressure not to get married until after she finished with school.
That Sunday she said Yes, (to me), but she would have to break it slowly to her parents. Two days later in the mail I found out just how hard this would be. She got a letter from her dad that really reinforced the concept of non-involvement and finishing school. I didn't know what to do. Here I had sold my camera so as to secure getting married sooner, and her dad was trying to talk her into waiting three more years. I tried to call her dad and talk it over. Renee didn't want me to call but I felt it was the right thing to do so I did. Wow was it hard! But I felt so much better afterwards that I'm not sorry I did it.
Two weeks ago
we went to St. George to my Grandparents 65th wedding anniversary.
We had a good time. I borrowed my old camera back and took pictures.
Renee played the piano for Andrea and Julie Platts. Everybody
liked Renee and Renee liked most everyone. She wore the engagement
ring and we assumed the roles. I'll be glad when things get straightened
out with her parents so we can get engaged and married. Usually
my love life has been the pits but lately since that has changed,
my financial situation is the real pits.
The night of the 26th of November, but it was really the morning of the 27th, I asked her again to marry me. It had been a month since the first time. Still she wanted more time. The next day while we were studying in the Fine Arts Center she said yes. Now she is wearing the ring and that night she called her mom and grandparents. Her grandparents liked the idea, but her mom was so so. We have been kind of planning a double wedding with her sister LuAnn. What have I learned from the last six months, it to endure to the end when you are seeking something good!
See out last Family Photo (103k) Oct. 4, 1999.
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