Let's compare the two.
|MOOD: More tense, distracted, competitive, superior||MOOD: Peaceful and curious, humble and tentative.|
MIND: Busy with judgment and analysis; |
"If you say this, it probably means you also think that." Feeling of preoccupation.
|MIND: Thoughts are dropped rather than pursued. Any analysis is ignored and discarded. Feeling is inquisitive.|
|MEMORY: Effort made to not forget anything, so while that is going on, the listening is distracted. Fear that something might be forgotten.|| MEMORY: No effort is made to remember anything. There is a quiet assurance that
the mind will provide whatever memories are needed without forcing it.|
|CONVERSATION: Frequent interruptions, challenges, confrontations. Sometimes both talking at the same time. "Making points" or competing for who can prove the other is mistaken. Rapid pace of speech.||CONVERSATION: Mostly questions, interruptions only when the listener is confused and unclear. No confrontations or challenges. There is a slower pace, and the feeling is that there is no hurry.|
|RESPONSE TO BLAME: The analytic listener tries to show how the speaker is wrong; sounds defensive and closed.||RESPONSE TO BLAME: Curiousity, puzzled. May say things like, "You could be right about that." Listener is willing to consider shared blame or responsibility.|
|INFORMATION: is guarded and not shared openly; responses are based on whether they will achieve a goal and data are "edited" before being shared. "Be careful you don't give away an advantage."||INFORMATION: is shared openly and with trust and confidence. The listener tries to not have an agenda or a preferred way to solve the problem, so the more information on the table, the better.|
|PROBLEM SOLVING: Effort to force one person to accept the other's solution. Feels win-lose to both sides: "I must win or at least I must not lose. Feeling of superiority may be present, "If you would only see it my way, you would make sense."||PROBLEM SOLVING: Flashes of insight and intuition; there is a win-win attitude and solutions that would harm either party are simply rejected or ignored. Often the problem is solved in a unique or unusual way as a result of this intuition-based approach to solving problems. There is often a sense of humor or pleasure when the solution appears.|