The Corporate Ladder

Chairman of the Board
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policy to God.
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with God.
Executive Vice President
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
Talks with God if a special request is approved.
Vice President
Barely clears a Quonset hut.
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.
General Manager
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings.
Is run over by a locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.
Runs into buildings.
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times.
Is not issued ammunition.
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver.
Talks to walls.
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings.
Says "Look at the choo-choo."
Wets himself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.
Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance.
She IS God...

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