Abandon Year: 2002 Director: Stephen Gaghan Written by: Stephen Gaghan Threat: TBA Weapon of Choice: Brick IMDb page:

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Rish Outfield's reviews
I've gone to a few test screenings in my life (more than most people, anyway), and I always feel something of a debt to the filmmakers for letting me see their film for free and/or before it's finished. I always feel a certain amount of guilt if I dislike a film at a test screening, too, as if a buddy has shared with me something he's worked hard on and I have the temerity to frown upon it. Abandon is a new film by Paramount Pictures, I've no idea when it will be released, and I was fortunate enough to see it tonight.
It stars Katie Holmes as Katie (oddly enough), a college Senior who has many, many things on her plate (including job interviews, emotional problems stemming back to being abandoned by her father, and a monster of a thesis). Two years previous, she fell in love with a self-absorbed philosophizing pretty-boy artiste named Embry, who basically scarred her for life when he disappeared without a word one evening, never writing, calling, or giving indication of where he was going. A young detective (Benjamin Bratt) is put in charge of finding out what happened to Embry, who hasn't touched his bank account or been heard of in all that time. Just when Katie's almost put Embry behind her, the questions Bratt asks begin to open up old memories and wounds.
And that's basically the movie, folks. So why review it on the HORROR Film Compendium, you ask? Well, it does get a little spooky, when Katie realizes someone is watching her, and when she sees Embry on campus more than once. Is she going nuts? Is it only someone who looks like him? Is he back? If so, why? Is he a ghost? A vampire (I must admit, I wondered for about half a second, since I knew nothing going in)? Does he want to hurt her? Kill her? Is he just playing with her? Does he sincerely want to come back into her life? These and other questions may be answered by seeing the film, but not by me, folks. I feel I've given WAY too much away already.
Like I said, I feel guilty when I don't love a film when I see it for free. I wish I could go to a Die Hard or Braveheart at a test screening and announce to all I encounter that it's a must-see when it finally comes out. But I guess that's how I felt about The Gift, which also starred Katie Holmes, and was a much more satisfying and scary film than this. The problem with Abandon (or, as it was called when I attended it, Abandoned) is twofold. The first is that it doesn't know what it wants to be. It's not a Drama, although it's certainly dramatic and deals with stress and friendship and college life and problems I'll never have to deal with because I'll probably be dead soon. It's not Horror, although it deals with fear and paranoia and a chilling voice whispering, "Kaaaatie." It's not a Romance, though things may blossom a bit for our girl before the end arrives. It's sort of a Mystery (little hints are dropped that perhaps Embry is not everything he seems to be), but it moves too slow and focuses not on the detective, but on Katie, as she tries to figure things out, beginning with herself. A Psychological Thriller? Yeah, probably, though the thrills are somewhat sporadic. The film is sort of these things, but also none of these things. It just sort of is.
There were too many subplots, some of which will surely be dropped by the time any of you see this film (in fact, I bet tyranist's right nut most of Fred Ward's scenes will hit the floor), and it meandered and sometimes veered into confusing, semi-unrelated territory. Abandon is erratic. Sometimes it's scary, sometimes it's dull and talky, sometimes it's confusing.
I adore Katie Holmes (there's just something about her, isn't there, folks?), and she delivers yet another nice performance. The rest of the cast (including Almost Famous's Zoey Deschanel, Charlie Hunnam as Embry, and Tony Goldwyn) are fine. And the story isn't bad, definitely written by someone more intelligent than me.
But here's the other problem: I had a good friend who once used a wonderfully apt phrase to sum up a movie where there was a lot leading up to very little, a ton of plot for not much story, where the end result was hardly worth the effort made. He said, "Kind of a long ride for such a short trip."
And that's the situation here. I saw certain things coming, but even if you didn't, the movie ends, and well, that's it. It wasn't much, doesn't have much to say, isn't something you talk about with your friends around an overpriced Taco Bell combo well into the night, it's not one you'll see again, or even remember much about on your deathbed. Katie deserves better.
Best Scare: Hey, remember when I used to include Best Scares in my reviews? I ought to go back to that. One scene where Katie wakes up in the library to find someone watching her didn't exactly elicit a shriek from me, but my heart did forget to beat for a moment there.
I'd Recommend It To: Unless it is substantially reshaped (and hey, it might be), just Holmes fans. And no, she doesn't get naked. You oughtta be ashamed of yourself.

Total Skulls: 13

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut
Someone investigates a strange noise
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood spatters camera/wall/small boy/other
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending
What the hell?