Other movies in this series:
Blade
Blade 2

Rish's Reviews
The good news is, Blade 3 is finally here. The bad news is, it wasn't really worth the wait.
The film starts out strong, with Blade hunted by the police (and FBI) as a delusional psychopath who kills people thinking they're vampires. Of course, this subplot is quickly abandoned (along with any semblance of danger) in lieu of a silly plan by Dracula, the father of all vampires, to wipe out all the humans on earth, as well as our man Blade. Though not in that order. To help him, Blade teams up with a group of high-tech vampire hunters (obnoxiously similar to that "X-Files" spinoff with the three guys) called the Nightstalkers, including smartass ex-vampire Ryan Reynolds, and Ipod listening, midriff-showing daughter of Whistler, Jessica Biel.
Yawn.
Too bad. There was a lot of potential in this story (especially the idea of the humans turning against Blade, as well as the vampires), but almost without exception, that potential was cast aside for more of the same.
Kris Kristopherson played the exact same role (Whistler) that he did in the first two, but had much less to do this time around. Ryan Reynolds, who I've always liked, came across as funny, but who cared? Jessica Biel, who is VERY attractive in an ugly way, almost brought a bit of humanity to the role, which is way more than I can say for Wesley Snipes, who, aside from an interrogation scene, does an admirable job as the Pimpbot 5000. Except cooler and less recognizably human.
Parker Posey, who I hate for all the reasons most people like her, was as despisable as possible in her villianous role, but mostly because she was playing the same role she normally does (on or off-camera). She also managed to look like Alanis Morissette would if you drowned her, left her in the water for a week, then brought her back to life with electricity. But hey, I'm not a fan.
Screenwriter David S. Goyer was given the task of directing this time around, and well, that seems to have been a mistake. The film just made no sense. Subplots came and went, and several scenes seemed to exist only to pad out the film's runtime. I got the feeling that maybe there was a version out there that had narrative ties to it and a cohesive plot, but a great deal of that ended up on the floor in favour of interminable Matrix-like fight scenes and action sequences, accompanied by the same tired rap songs and techno music we've seen in this series and those like it.
I don't really understand the filmmakers' goal with the Blade character. Is it possible for an audience to like a person who needs nothing and hates everybody around him? I guess that's what an anti-hero is, but I'm sick of it.
And I'm not sick of Blade, per se, just sick (to death) of the way Wesley Snipes portrays him, as this souless, unfeeling, invulnerable, ubercool black dude. And this third film is the worst of all: the guy seriously cares more about his sword and SUNGLASSES than he does his mentor or partner. I understand that Snipes considers himself an icon for African-American boys everywhere, and doesn't want to appear weak or in any way fragile, but our frailties are what make us human. And he takes it all so far as to alienate anyone who has a heart or who has ever stubbed his toe. I guess that's called overcompensation, and it's just too bad.
Blade: Trinity also featured the lamest villian since . . . well, Dr. Giggles, I guess. Though Dr. Giggles was more intimidating than this guy, who looked like a refugee from a Mexican music video.
Just like previous sequels Terminator 3, Die Another Day and Van Helsing, Blade 3 sucked in the same way. I just didn't care about the characters because the filmmakers gave me no reason to care. None of them were in any danger, none of them had any chance of not making it out alive, and none of them took their situation seriously enough to not make quips about it.
Poor Goyer, who has always struck me as a capable screenwriter, must've been in over his head on this one. He doesn't seem to be an inept filmmaker (or a complete moron like that guy Pitoff), but he appeared to have no discernable style. And worse, his move to directing seems to have SEVERELY short-changed his role as a screenwriter.
There was a great deal more humour ("I was eating garlic earlier and I just farted. Silent but deadly.") in this film than the last two (one of the best moments was seeing Dracula eye a box of Count Chocula), but it seemed to come at the expense of drama and tension. If your characters don't fear the bad guys or situation enough to respect the danger, how do you expect the audience to?
Blade: Trinity had a couple of moments that really worked (mostly amusing stuff, like a vampire Pomeranian), but for the most part, it continually fell short. A final message from beyond the grave from Natasha Lyonne (who I also hate) was absolutely ludicrous and completely illogical. What was the vampires' plan? Why did they even need Dracula? Did Dracula need them? What made him a powerful villain, and the perfect killing machine? The skinny guy in the last one could've wiped the walls up with him, and Blade never needed break a sweat with this guy.
There's been talk about spinning off the Nightstalkers characters into a movie of their own, but I would strongly advise against it. If everyone feels about Blade 3 as I did, well, it won't be necessary.
Best Scare: Well, Dracula's devil-form was SORT of cool-looking, but nothing was even remotely scary.
I'd Recommend It To: Fans of the franchise with much-lowered expectations.
Posted: December 6, 2004

The tyranist's thoughts
Rish has always been a bigger fan of this franchise than I have. I really liked the first movie and thought the second was pretty good, but was probably the bloodiest (by volume not by gross-out factor) movie I'd ever seen. A third entry didn't seem like the best idea, but it didn't seem like they could screw it up that bad either.
They failed in two ways. First, they failed in the way it seems all comic book franchises may be doomed to fail, they tried to use too many characters. Now in this case the failure was all their own since Blade was always a lone wolf in the comic books. They couldn't just stick to that. They had to invent new characters to help Blade in a fight that he's been handling just fine. Now I like the work of Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds, I just don't like that the characters suddenly make the story bigger than it should be and less about the hero I came to see.
Their second failure was that they tried to be funny. Incidental comedy is okay. The first Blade movies have their moments of comedy, but this one tries way too hard. Ryan Reynolds doesn't have a straight line in the entire movie. He's a funny guy, but it is mostly just wholly out of place.
Now, I don't think I hated this movie the way Rish did. His love of these movies and thus his expectations were much higher. But it wasn't really that good either. I'd probably put it in that middle, mediocre class of horror flicks. It was shinier than most, but really lacked purpose and in the end, I found myself not caring how the world was saved or from whom.
Posted: January 26, 2006

Total Skulls: 18

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie		Incubus
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut
Someone investigates a strange noise
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc.
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending
What the hell?