Blood Angels Year: 2004 Director: Ron Oliver Written by: Brett Thompson, Lisa Morton Threat: Vampire Weapon of Choice: Sword Based upon: none Color/B&W/3D: Color Language: English Country of Origin: Canada IMDb page:

Other movies in this series:
None

The tyranist's thoughts
You'd think that on the two or three weekends a year that Rish and I get together, we'd try to rent the best horror films we can find to watch in our limited time together. Often the opposite is true. Whether it is simply a matter of not wanting to endure the pain alone or just some sort of group decision making disorder, we often end up watching a lot of shite when we hit the video rental emporium together. I think that in this case, it was me reading the back of the case in my best horror-film-announcer voice that got us to rent it.
Somewhere there in what is apparently the most deserted city on the planet, there is a club owned by a group of vampires. They are secretly collecting soul juice to power their overthrow of their master. In wanders one of the vampires' younger sister from the country and as the night of their planned coup approaches, the same thing that happens at clubs the world over nearly every single night happens: a fight breaks out.
To be fair, this was better than most of the straight-to-DVD low-budget fare we've been subjected to in the last decade. There is nothing strikingly bad. The premise is okay. The acting subpar, but fine. The dialogue, not great, but passable. The execution, about what you'd expect. But, on the whole, the movie was really just sort of stupid.
There's nothing to recommend this movie and I'm glad Rish was there to help me sit through it. Even if I did have to kick him to get him to wake back up a couple times.
Posted: February 8, 2006

Rish's Reviews
This one was all tyranist's fault. He picked it, he championed it, he took it up to the register, and he . . .starred in it.
No, actually, that was Lorenzo Lamas.
I'll leave it to tyranist to describe this one's plot, as well as his reasons for choosing to rent it. But you know, Blood Angels, aka Thralls, was actually a fairly good flick. It had a couple of shamefully bad CGI effects (including one that's supposed to be a demon, but looks more like a Boss at the end of Super Mario Bros., circa 1989), but the script and premise were pretty good. I think there was some talent behind this one (the director wrote Prom Nights 2 and 3, which I quite liked), though it might not have been visible throughout the production. Lamas comes across as pretty charming, really, and mildly amusing. I'm pretty sure, tyranist's pick or not, that I dug this one a lot more than he did.
Knowing that late-night cable movie staple Andrew Stevens was one of the producers, it could've used a lot more nudity, though, folks. You just expect it, and are bound to be disappointed. The sexiest, most-practically-naked-to-begin-with chick in the film never gets any nakeder than that, and that displeases me. I say this, not just as a fan of T&A, but as a protector of you, the common people, the consumers who see the five hot-bodied babes on the cover and slap down your hard-stolen currency to rent it.
I'd Recommend It To: The story is a good one, but you didn't rent this for the story.
Posted: February 20, 2006

Total Skulls: 26

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears		Lorenzo Lamas
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut
Someone investigates a strange noise
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc.
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending
What the hell?