Buried AliveYear: 1989 Director: Gerad Kikoine Written by: Jake Chesi, Stuart Lee Threat: Psychopath Weapon of Choice: Egg-Beater Based upon: story - "The Premature Burial" - Edgar Allan Poe |
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Rish Outfield's reviews
I doubt Poe had anything to do with this project, even in spirit. Still, it had Donald Pleasence in it, and he can bring joy to any film
(well, except one, but don't get me started).
The plot went something like this: super-attractive teacher comes to a remote school for troubled girls that used to be an insane asylum.
There's a killer lurking about, doing killer-type things. Every time he strikes, people generally believe his victim ran away.
It started promising, as the extraordinarily hot schoolteacher begins experiencing terrifying psychic visions of ants, corpses, ants,
breathing brick walls, voices, and ants. Since no one else can see these visions, she thinks she may be losing her mind. But in the end,
we're to understand these visions were really happening? We're supposed to think it's Pleasence, but who out there really did? There was
an omnipresent black cat, that you'd think would fit in later, like in the story, but it ended up being there for no reason. A lot of the
film was that way.
On the plus side, this had a truly beautiful leading lady...breathtaking. Her name was Karen Whitter. Literally every male character is
after her sexually (and I would be too), but she doesn't seem to notice that. When Vaughan's character proposes to her (presumably after
three days of knowing her), she acts awkward, but not surprised. Pleasence is a disturbing, yet sympathetic instructor at the school (is
that what he was?). It featured some truly repugnant deaths. We do get to see one girl killed by an egg beater, though I highly doubt
anyone ever saw this film and thought it was actually possible. Future Mummy star Arnold Vosloo appears
briefly, but I didn't recognize him till the credits.
Wow, this fell apart at the end. The killer's motives don't seem to work, especially in light of what happens at the end--a confusing,
illogical sequence that left me wondering if I was watching a workprint and some scenes had not yet been shot. On the whole, it felt very
fragmented, like one of those miniseries you sometimes see edited into one film. The scares basically peter out after the first half-hour.
The film was dedicated to John Carradine, so perhaps he died during filming, or before explanatory scenes could be shot, but I doubt it
could have saved the movie. Also, where do they get off calling this Edgar Allan Poe's Buried Alive?
ANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd Recommend It To: Anyone who just HAS to see all of Donald Pleasence's movies.
Note: I did a little research, and the actress Karen Whitter, was a Playboy Playmate. Amazingly, she does not appear naked here.
Note 2: Everybody knows that the mask the killer in Halloween wears is that of William Shatner, but
prepare yourself for the killer's mask in Buried Alive. I kid you not...it's a Ronald Reagan mask.
Total Skulls: 24
Sequel | ||
Sequel setup | ||
Rips off earlier film | ||
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie | ||
Future celebrity appears | ||
Former celebrity appears | Robert Vauhgn | |
Bad title | ||
Bad premise | ||
Bad acting | ||
Bad dialogue | ||
Bad execution | ||
MTV Editing | ||
OTS | ||
Girl unnecessarily gets naked | ||
Wanton sex | ||
Death associated with sex | ||
Unfulfilled promise of nudity | ||
Characters forget about threat | ||
Secluded location | ||
Power is cut | ||
Phone lines are cut | ||
Someone investigates a strange noise | ||
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door | ||
Camera is the killer | ||
Victims cower in front of a window/door | ||
Victim locks self in with killer | ||
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls | ||
Toilet stall scene | ||
Shower/bath scene | ||
Car stalls or won't start | ||
Cat jumps out | ||
Fake scare | ||
Laughable scare | ||
Stupid discovery of corpse | ||
Dream sequence | ||
No one believes only witness | ||
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth | ||
Music detracts from scene | ||
Death in first five minutes | ||
x years before/later | ||
Dark and stormy night | ||
Killer doesn't stay dead | ||
Killer wears a mask | ||
Killer is in closet | ||
Killer is in car with victim | ||
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes | ||
Unscary villain/monster | ||
Beheading | ||
Blood fountain | ||
Blood hits camera | ||
Poor death effect | ||
Excessive gore | ||
No one dies at all | ||
Virgin survives | ||
Geek/Nerd survives | ||
Little kid lamely survives | ||
Dog/Pet miraculously survives | ||
Unresolved subplots | ||
"It was all a dream" ending | ||
Unbelievably happy ending | ||
Unbelievably crappy ending | ||
What the hell? |