Burnt Offerings Year: 1976 Director: Dan Curtis Written by: Dan Curtis, William F. Nolan Threat: Haunted House Weapon of Choice: Insanity Based upon: novel - Burnt Offerings - Robert Maresco IMDb page:

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Rish's Reviews
I saw this one with my Irish friend and my bald friend, as part of our traditional bi-weekly Wednesday night shlockfest. This was, by no means, a good movie. But it was darn entertaining.
Burnt Offerings tells the tale of a family that becomes caretakers of a lovely Gothic estate in the middle of nowhere for a summer, their only charge to be to care for the unseen old lady who lives upstairs and never comes out or makes a sound. Oh yeah, and one other little thing . . . the house is evil.
It had quite a famous cast, with Oliver Reed, Karen Black, Bette Davis, Burgess Meredith, Dub Taylor, even the boy was the star of Ben. Curtis the director also did Trilogy of Terror with Karen Black, and created the cult soap opera "Dark Shadows." Nolan the screenwriter also wrote the Horror classic Logan's Run (yes, that's a joke) as well as Trilogy of Terror.
I've never been a fan of Oliver Reed (except for Gladiator, which is sort of a case of too little, too late), but I couldn't take my eyes off him here. He seemed to be in a sort of competition with Karen Black over who could overact the most, be the most unnecessarily creepy, or behave in the most atypically gay manner conceivable. It was just so funny, and I have to think that it was intentional, right? I mean, take Burgess Merideth's disturbingly queer performance. There's no way that could be an accident, could it?
I've never liked Bette Davis either, but she was good in this. Likable, even.
We had more fun watching this film than probably any in our history (even more fun than when we saw Silent Rage and laughed every time someone used the word "Mitogen"). My Irish friend said it best when he suggested Reed simply burn down the house the first day he stayed there. And at more than one point, someone in the room shouted, "Oh no, it's creepy gay limosine driver!"
Still, the movie was pretty bad, on a couple of levels. I don't understand the title. What burnt offerings? To whom? Did anything burn? Ah well. Very little in the movie made sense. What was going on? I still don't quite get it. Was the house alive? Was it trying to kill them? Was it haunted? Were they being possessed by the former owners of the house? Were the characters from the opening ghosts? Was it trying to drive them away? If so, why go to lengths to keep them there? If it was wanting to keep them there, why keep trying to kill them?
At the anniversary screening of Halloween, Jamie Lee Curtis described any scene where a female character walks right back into danger as a "You Stupid Bitch, You Deserve To Die" moment. This had maybe the ultimate one at the end. I'll leave it up to those who check this out to see if she died or not.
Best Scare: There actually were a couple of good scares, one involving Bette Davis, one involving the gay limosine driver, and one at the end of the film.
I'd Recommend It To: It's hard not to recommend this film, since I enjoyed it so much, but I think that the majority of viewers will enjoy it quite a bit less. If you have the right crowd to see in with, then by all means, check it out. Otherwise, steer very clear.
Posted: August 9, 2004

Total Skulls: 19

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears		Bette Davis
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut
Someone investigates a strange noise
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc.
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending
What the hell?