The CellYear: 2000 Director: Tarsem Singh Written by: Mark Protosevich Threat: Psychopath Weapon of Choice: Water Based upon: Original |
Other movies in this series:
None
Rish Outfield's reviews
In a lab someplace, an experimental technique allows child psychologist
Jennifer Lopez to enter the mind of a disturbed child to try to reach him.
When an immensely sick serial killer (Vincent D'Onofrio) is comatose after
being caught by his pursuers (led by Vince Vaughan), Lopez must go into his
mind to find out where his last abductee is being kept, before she too joins
the killer's victim list.
It seems that one of the phrases I repeat in my reviews of particularly
morbid or distasteful horror movies is "wholly unpleasant." I almost wish I
had left the phrase in some of the reviews I edited it out of so I could use
examples, but ah well. Though The Cell was pretty nasty, I'd have to say
that it never quite reached the ‘wholly unpleasant' levels of Maniac or
Last House on the Left. The things that made it less so were the plot,
Jennifer Lopez's rather appealing face, and the fact that tyranist and I were
back together watching a horror movie. Of course, the visuals were
spectacular, the costumes unique, and the special effects fascinating. But
it all got draining. It was overkill. There were too many alien
environments. There were too many ‘gee whiz' visual moments. About halfway
through, I began to forget about the coolness and just felt numb. I was
assaulted with visuals that, for me, at least, distracted from the story,
which I found extraordinarily cool. Of course, Vincent D'Onofrio's character
was so thoroughly repugnant (and his mind so utterly incomprehensible) that
he was a sort of alien too, and it got hard to see any of it as real. Some
of it reminded me of the later "Elm Street" sequels, where I felt more work
was spent on unique dream imagery than on trying to scare me or make me like
the characters. I also got the feeling that good would definitely win, and
so I became less interested in the struggle. When it finally ended, I felt
empty--like I had just sat through a summer special effects movie rather than
a horror film. But don't get me wrong, that's way better than whole unpleasantness.
Best Scare: At the beginning, in a child's mind, we see some rather frightening shape-shifting. Hey, it scared me.
I'd Recommend It To: Well, that's a bit difficult. I think that for some
(people not as jaded as me, for example) it would indeed be ‘wholly
unpleasant.' For other people, those who are turned on by the sick and
perverse, they may get exactly what they're looking for here (or perhaps be
left wanting, God help them). For fans of Lopez's work in Selena and
Jack, I doubt they'll find enjoy The Cell. For those who see it just for
the special effects, it might be neat, but heck, so was Tron when it came
out. I think it's up to you on this one.
The tyranist's thoughts
It's unfortunate that I waited as long as I did to see this one in the theatre. We ended up watching it late at a second
run theatre that had a very worn print. I think this diminished the visual impact of the movie, which forced me to pay
more attention to the story line. Wait, maybe that was a good thing.
Most people I know saw this one almost exclusively for the visuals. The trailers promised some outstanding dream
sequences that could rival some of the weird crap that Clive Barker has thrown up. I mean who didn't see Jennifer Lopez
in that lacy black thing and want to see the movie? The story was completely inconsequential to these people. For the
rest of you who don't see movies for the look but just for the movie, don't listen to them. Go see the movie for it's
own merits. The idea of actually going into the mind of a serial killer to find his vicitim is really cool.
Jennifer Lopez is alright, not exceptional, but not bad by any means. She is adequate when she needs to be and stunning
in the dream world. Vincent D'Onofrio was very, very good and Vince Vaughan wasn't too bad. I'd give this one high marks
for what they managed to do. The bulk of the budget was obviously in creating some of those sets.
There's some pretty realistic, hard core gore in a couple spots, but really the movie isn't disturbing like it could have
been. Clive Barker fans might even think it is weak. See it. For whatever reason you can think of, you owe it to yourself
as a horror fan to at least check it out.
Total Skulls: 13
Sequel | ||
Sequel setup | ||
Rips off earlier film | ||
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie | ||
Future celebrity appears | ||
Former celebrity appears | ||
Bad title | ||
Bad premise | ||
Bad acting | ||
Bad dialogue | ||
Bad execution | ||
MTV Editing | ||
OTS | ||
Girl unnecessarily gets naked | ||
Wanton sex | ||
Death associated with sex | ||
Unfulfilled promise of nudity | ||
Characters forget about threat | ||
Secluded location | ||
Power is cut | ||
Phone lines are cut | ||
Someone investigates a strange noise | ||
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door | ||
Camera is the killer | ||
Victims cower in front of a window/door | ||
Victim locks self in with killer | ||
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls | ||
Toilet stall scene | ||
Shower/bath scene | ||
Car stalls or won't start | ||
Cat jumps out | ||
Fake scare | ||
Laughable scare | ||
Stupid discovery of corpse | ||
Dream sequence | ||
Hallucination/Vision | ||
No one believes only witness | ||
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth | ||
Music detracts from scene | ||
Death in first five minutes | ||
x years before/later | ||
Flashback sequence | ||
Dark and stormy night | ||
Killer doesn't stay dead | ||
Killer wears a mask | ||
Killer is in closet | ||
Killer is in car with victim | ||
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes | ||
Unscary villain/monster | ||
Beheading | ||
Blood fountain | ||
Blood hits camera | ||
Poor death effect | ||
Excessive gore | ||
No one dies at all | ||
Virgin survives | ||
Geek/Nerd survives | ||
Little kid lamely survives | ||
Dog/Pet miraculously survives | ||
Unresolved subplots | ||
"It was all a dream" ending | ||
Unbelievably happy ending | ||
Unbelievably crappy ending | ||
What the hell? |