The Dark Eyes of LondonYear: 1939 Director: Walter Summers Written by: Walter Summers, John Argyle, Patrick Kirwan Threat: Psychopath Weapon of Choice: Water Based upon: novel - The Dark Eyes of London - Edgar Wallace |
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The tyranist's thoughts
Not to be watched when you are sleepy, this old British horror flick has an interesting
premise, but lacks delivery when it counts. Or, at least, I had a difficult time staying
awake for this one even if Bela Lugosi is in it.
So people are dying and Scotland Yard is trying to figure out who is committing these
terrible crimes. In walks Bela Lugosi (who is so obviously behind the whole thing
that it almost makes you cringe) and a young lady and we're off. Oh, and there's one
guy that's kind of freaky looking but in the tradition of the misunderstood monster, he
ends up contributing to the side of good in the end.
This one is completely skippable. Except for the interesting historical fact that this was
the first British horror movie made after the ban of '38-'39 and the first to receive the
'H' rating (for Horrific), this one should have been lost in a vault somewhere. Bela Lugosi's
performance is mediocre and the rest of the cast a little bit worse than that. I wonder
what would happen with a modern remake of this. It might be good if it were done
right.
One last thing. Apparently when they imported this one to the States, they retitled it
The Human Monster. Not only is the American title inferior, it really deserves a
Bad Title Skull. Since the original British title is brilliant, though, I decided to use it
for the review and to not award the Skull. If I try hard enough I'll forget that American
title existed.
Well, I won't keep you any longer except to say that you really should avoid this one.
Even Lugosi completists probably should avoid it.
Total Skulls: 6
Sequel | ||
Sequel setup | ||
Rips off earlier film | ||
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie | ||
Future celebrity appears | ||
Former celebrity appears | ||
Bad title | ||
Bad premise | ||
Bad acting | ||
Bad dialogue | ||
Bad execution | ||
MTV Editing | ||
OTS | ||
Girl unnecessarily gets naked | ||
Wanton sex | ||
Death associated with sex | ||
Unfulfilled promise of nudity | ||
Characters forget about threat | ||
Secluded location | ||
Power is cut | ||
Phone lines are cut | ||
Someone investigates a strange noise | ||
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door | ||
Camera is the killer | ||
Victims cower in front of a window/door | ||
Victim locks self in with killer | ||
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls | ||
Toilet stall scene | ||
Shower/bath scene | ||
Car stalls or won't start | ||
Cat jumps out | ||
Fake scare | ||
Laughable scare | ||
Stupid discovery of corpse | ||
Dream sequence | ||
Hallucination/Vision | ||
No one believes only witness | ||
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth | ||
Warning goes unheeded | ||
Music detracts from scene | ||
Death in first five minutes | ||
x years before/later | ||
Flashback sequence | ||
Dark and stormy night | ||
Killer doesn't stay dead | ||
Killer wears a mask | ||
Killer is in closet | ||
Killer is in car with victim | ||
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes | ||
Unscary villain/monster | ||
Beheading | ||
Blood fountain | ||
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc. | ||
Poor death effect | ||
Excessive gore | ||
No one dies at all | ||
Virgin survives | ||
Geek/Nerd survives | ||
Little kid lamely survives | ||
Dog/Pet miraculously survives | ||
Unresolved subplots | ||
"It was all a dream" ending | ||
Unbelievably happy ending | ||
Unbelievably crappy ending | ||
What the hell? |