Other movies in this series:
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Rish's Reviews
Director Neil Marshall's last effort, Dog Soldiers, was an excellent movie. Beyond excellent. I was just telling tyranist that I consider it one of the top ten horror films of the 21st century.
So, I was quite pleased when tyranist invited me to go to an preview screening of Marshall's newest film, The Descent, with him up at the state capital (city, not building).
Tyranist can be ambitious when he wants to be, so I'm sure he's already planning on summing the movie up in his review tonight. But hey, so can I, writing this review at seven a.m. the day after seeing it.
A group of adventurous young women, eager to put a recent tragedy behind them, go exploring a remote cave in America's Appalachian Mountains. Almost immediately cut off from the cave's narrow entrance, they find out that they are not alone down there . . . in the dark.
Caves are scary, folks. But you know what else is? Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.
That's right, C.H.U.D.s make a return appearance in The Descent. Though they look a tad more like The Lord of the Ring's Gollum than the titular critters in the 1984 film, they're C.H.U.D.s nonetheless.
The film takes its time getting to the danger, instead building up tension with dream sequences and fake scares, while developing character and suspense. It's rare to see a movie (Horror or otherwise) with a cast of practically only women. It's also rare that they not be portrayed as bitches or whores. What they accomplish by this is making us care about the characters (I've found this to be more and more important in films as I get older), and scared for them. The women, with different looks and nationalities, were all convincing and interesting. And though tyranist and I had different favourite characters, I didn't want any of them to die.
There was a great deal of work and craft that went into The Descent. Marshall is a great director, all the more accomplished for working on a limited budget. I do have to complain about the machine gun editing, as distracting and confusing as a Michael Bay music video played at double-speed. But that complaint is canceled out by the filmmakers' choice to use human actors as the monsters, rather than create them via CGI.
This was gory beyond reckoning. And also, very, very scary. But what the film wasn't was fun. It's claustrophobic and violent and disturbing and grisly, but it's not a very good time.
What's worse, the film sort of crumbles in the final few minutes. Even after tyranist explained the climax to me (I just hadn't gotten it, and was really bothered by that*), he couldn't explain the puzzling, almost head-scratching ending.
In fact, I had a feeling I knew where the movie was going--a daring and discomforting ending--and would've liked the film better if that's where it had gone. Only after digging around on the internet did I find out that the original UK version had that EXACT ending, which was changed for American audiences.
Before I lambast U.S. moviegoers and studio execs who think they know U.S. moviegoers, I must count my blessings that--unlike Dog Soldiers--The Descent at least got theatrical distribution in the Americas.
Best Scare: There were many (I'm talking double digit) good scares, but my pick is the first attack by the creatures. I screamed as I am wont to do.
I'd Recommend It To: If you can find it, and you don't mind a lack of WB stars, rappers, or computer-generated effects, you could do a lot worse than The Descent. After all, everybody deserves a good scare.
*After he explained it, I was still really bothered by it. I'm not sure if that's a flaw of the film or a flaw of my own, but I'm unwilling to let go of it.
Posted: August 1, 2006

The tyranist's thoughts
Neil Marshall's first horror flick was so good, he deserved every chance to prove that could repeat that success. The fact that he chose to make a movie that shares so much with The Cave which was released earlier the same year is a bit unfortunate. Both movies involve spelunking crews exploring mostly unknown cave systems that seem have had previous visitors that didn't quite make it out. Both parties get blocked in by a cave in. Both parties encounter something in the dark and have to make a run for whatever exit they can find.
That said, I prefer The Descent any day. There is far less reliance on pseudo-science in this flick than in its predecessor. The group dynamic seems much better. The gore and violence are far more intense. And the setting is far more claustrophobic. Overall, the ride is just so much better.
Having the party be all female is sort of daring, but ends up being far more interesting than the dynamic of an all male or mixed group might have been. Marshall does really well to capitalize on things that are a little more likely to happen with a group of women than if they were all men.
The acting is fantastic. The C.H.U.D.s are splendid. The set spectacular. The script is very good. All in all, this movie was fantastic.
Except for the ending.
I did manage to get a look at the original ending before writing this review and I have to say that they really should have just trusted the American audience a little more. Rather than creating a more positive ending, they've just succeeded in making the movie end on a note that is completely perplexing. It makes no sense whatsoever. Rish and I listed off half a dozen endings that would have been better almost as soon as the movie ended. If you see this in the theatre and get an ending that is baffling, find the real ending on the internet somewhere and you will be far more satisfied.
But don't stay away from it just because of that last second flaw. This movie deserves to do well and I'd gladly see it again.
Posted: August 1, 2006

Total Skulls: 26

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut
Someone investigates a strange noise
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc.
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending
What the hell?