The tyranist's thoughts
Before I get into the meat of this one, I should tell you of the history Rish and I have with this movie. Way back when we started the HFC and were looking for good material for the site (since we had no idea that we would ever keep going this long, I mean this is our 605th review after all), we were browsing our local Blockbuster and came across Embrace of the Vampire. Now there is pretty much one reason anyone rents this particular flick. Alyssa Milano gets naked in it. It's a well-known fact. Well-known enough that even in our pre-horror-film-authority period, we knew we should see it. Unfortunately, someone else had it checked out that night. Well, it's been years since that night, we've both sworn off the Blockbuster for various reasons (and I've in fact gone back to it since I moved to a tiny little town that doesn't offer much else), and nearly every time we've walked into a video rental emporium since then we've checked for that movie. There was a particular Hollywood Video that we patronized for quite some time that literally never had the movie in. Realizing that we were never meant to enjoy the simple pleasures of Alyssa Milano's breasts together, I finally snagged it one evening on a trip to the local Mom and Pop. Imagine my surprise to find this gem in their poorly stocked horror section. Well, Rish, if there is anything I can say, it's that you didn't miss much and our original reason for wanting to rent the movie is still the only reason anyone would watch it.
Okay, on to the movie itself. Early on this one looks like a soft-core retelling of the same Dracula story that everyone has remade over the years. Gradually, it just becomes a soft-core vampire movie with little or no connection to Bram Stoker's classic novel. Alyssa Milano, she of the aforementioned breasts, is an innocent young prep school or small college (does it matter?) student who is 'saving herself for the right man at the right time.' Anyway, this loathesome but human-looking vampire decides she's his eternal love reincarnated and he must have her. Let the temptation begin.
The plot really is insipid and pretty standard for soft-core porn. The script isn't terrible, but it isn't much of a movie either. Alyssa does okay, but I can think of better movies for her. When it comes down to it though, the filmmakers seemed so pleased to have a former child star working for them, they didn't do much else with what they had.
The film looks, feels, and smells Canadian, not that our dear neighbors to the north haven't turned out a fine horror flick from time to time, it's just that the style is distinct and often crappy. Another thing is the vampire. Take it from me folks if you aren't going to listen to anyone else, if you are making a movie in which the vampire has to seduce the leading lady, at least cast someone with a little charisma. Their vampire had no screen presence and was actually the least compelling character in the movie. There's a big failure right there. If you can't make me believe that she might actually be tempted by the vampire, you've just given up the entire plot and make me want to fast forward between the nude scenes.
Well, I've gone on long enough. The short of it is that this movie is only worth seeing if you are interested in a post 'Who's the Boss' Alyssa Milano's breasts. If you are planning on renting this for any other reason, you will be disappointed.