The Garden Year: 2006 Director: Don Michael Paul Written by: Sam Bozzo Threat: Devil Weapon of Choice: Hatchet Based upon: none Color/B&W/3D: Colour Language: English Country of Origin: USA IMDb page:

Other movies in this series:
None

Rish's Reviews
For once, I liked a movie more than tyranist did. A heck of a lot more.
But don't get me wrong, it was a flawed movie. It tells the tale of a boy and his father, who are in an accident, and spend some time with an enigmatic farmer (Lance Henriksen) in his secluded rural town. The boy begins having unsettling visions and supernatural occurrences start happening around the farm. As the boy's father is more and more manipulated by the farmer, it becomes clear that the farmer is not only a sinister man . . . he may not be a man at all.
This is one of those Good versus Evil (both capitalised) movies, which can be really cool, when done well. I heard it said once (though it might have been Charlie Manson who said it), that the two best parts an actor can play, are Hamlet and the Devil.
The young actor does a fantastic job, and even better is Henriksen, in a role he could just take giant chunks out of and chew on them, but instead, delivers a restrained, understated, yet compelling performance.
Sure, the film makes little to no sense, and may have just been too darn ambitious for its low budget, but the parts I enjoyed far outweighed the bad parts.
Tyranist, however, listed this as the worst horror movie of 2006. I can't even imagine what he's talking about. You know, if it had been my church-centric friend who criticised my lack of religiousity, yet explained to me what "felching" was, and often referred to a porno called Edward Penis-hands, then yeah, I guess I could see something there.
But the movie wasn't that bad. Not really.
And like I said, it was well acted and had Lance Henriksen in it. The Mangler 2 only had one of those two, and it was much, much worse.
In tyranist's defence, though, the next movie director Don Michael Paul would make was Who's Your Caddy?. That sort of throws my comments out the window, don't it?
Posted: August 29, 2007

Total Skulls: 15

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut
Someone investigates a strange noise
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc.
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending
What the hell?