The tyranist's thoughts
Admit it, when the Furby craze hit at the end of the '90s, all it really accomplished was to through us all back to the glory days of 1984 when Gremlins hit the theatres and we all had a new instant love. Just think of all the people that took their kids to this little horror flick. This was perhaps, the most popular horror flick of the '80s finally grossing almost $150 million dollars. On the other hand, ask your average American consumer what they remember and they'll say, "Yeah, there were these cute little fuzzy things." "Was it horror?" you ask. "What? No. Well, I do remember one gross part when one of the gremlins got stuck in a blender."
I actually had this conversation with someone just to make sure I was right. Nobody remembers the evil little creatures and how much death and havoc they wrought. All they think of is cute little Gizmo. Too bad. It's a neat horror flick.
So you all know this story, right? Okay, if you don't, here's the short version. A crazed inventor buys a little creature from a Chinese man to give to his son for Christmas. The creature comes with three rules: a) they don't like light and in fact it can kill them, b) don't get them wet and c) never, under any condition, feed them after midnight (I've always wondered if you could feed them at 6:00 AM since it is technically post midnight). Anyway, the rules get broken and some of the Gizmo spawn turn evil.
The only real problem with the movie is that the bad creatures are the size of a large doll. Chucky was never threatening so why would these things be threatening?
On the other hand, the movie is a lot of fun and rated PG so all the ratings Nazis can't keep the kiddies away. There are some really cool scenes and Phoebe Cates is always nice to look at.
There was a time, specifically when Rish and I were starting this little website, that I swore to never review a movie for the site that wasn't rated R. We weren't going to waste our time with the stuff that was for the kiddies. I'm so glad that I eventually came around on this. Yeah, I've seen some spectacularly bad horror made worse for being castrated for the ratings board, but there are some really good ones in that pile too. If you don't remember Gremlins, take it in again, you'll probably have just as much fun as you did when you were a kid.
Posted: November 7th, 2002

Rish's Reviews
I grew up in a very magical time for movies. In a three year stretch, I got Raiders of the Lost Ark, E.T., Poltergeist, Wrath of Khan, and Return of the Jedi. And I didn't get to see many movies.
Summer of '84 was the best time to be a kid. Besides Star Trek III and Ghostbusters at tyranist's and my local theatre, there were three movies that the showhouse owners added "Not For Kids" in block letters on the marquee. They were Splash, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Gremlins. I don't suppose you're old enough to remember the controversy about these PG-rated movies, deemed "too intense" for some audiences. If you'll hang on, I'll wax nostalgic about phonograph records, mall video arcades, girls who wore dresses, and crank-start motorcars.
Being a monster fanatic as a boy, and never taken to horror movies by my parents (just this one and Orca: The Killer Whale), I loved this movie something awful, probably more than the other two "Not For Kids" flicks. Who knew if it would hold up after all these years (more than twenty years. My god, has it been that long? I remember when this was all farmland as far as the eye could see! Old Man Peabody owned ALL of this . . . he had this crazy idea, about breeding pine trees)? Unlike those two, though, Gremlins was made for kids, and in watching it again, there are a couple of moments that seemed a little too cutesy and infantile for my adult taste. The story of Kate's father's death, which disturbed me as a child, now kind of makes me laugh and roll my eyes. Polly Holliday's Mrs. Deagle, who I so despised as a little boy, seems awfully cartoonish and over-the-top to me now. And the fact that I now recognised the dreaded Howie Mandell as the voice of Gizmo did chill my very blood.
The gremlins themselves don't seem very threatening or scary anymore, but maybe that was intentional. The scenes with them drinking and flashing and playing cards and stuff kind of annoyed me. My favourite part as a kid, however, when Billy's mom does away with a trio of gremlins in her kitchen, is still a joy to behold. Except for one stop-motion shot, the gremlins look totally and completely real to me . . . probably because they were. I'd be surprised if today's computer-generated creatures, even the ones in the best CG monster movie ever--Jurassic Park-- hold up as well in 2014 as do Gizmo, Stripe, and the others.
Directed by Joe Dante and written by Chris Columbus, the tone is a little uneven (is it Horror or is it a Comedy?). Some of the dialogue doesn't work so well, and the ending, with Gizmo talking, feels pretty manipulative in 2005.
Didn't stop me from crying though, tyranist.
Still, I wasn't attracted to Phoebe Cates in 1984, and I now think she's one of the most beautiful girls ever to grace the screen. Something of a trade, I guess.
I'd Recommend It To: Just as tyranist said, if you were a fan of this film years ago, give it a nostalgic spin today. And if you were never a fan, give it a rent, and hate it again . . . for the first time.
Posted: September 12, 2005