House II: The Second StoryYear: 1987 Director: Ethan Wiley Written by: Ethan Wiley Threat: Undead Weapon of Choice: Shotgun Based upon: nothing |
Other movies in this series:
House
House IV
The tyranist's thoughts
I really liked House. It was inventive and fun and pretty different for a haunted
house movie. It was made in the '80s which is always a bonus and partook fully of that
great decade. Then they decided to make a sequel and much like most sequels to '80s
horror, they decided that it needed to be funnier rather than scarier. This has been done
well a couple times in cases like Hello Mary Lou:
Prom Night 2 and Sleepaway Camp
II: Unhappy Campers. More often it's been done poorly. This movie falls into
the latter category.
So another guy has inherited the house. He shows up and immediately, odd things happen
that all tie back to one of his ancestors and a Mexican crystal skull. Well, they go up the
hill to the cemetery and dig great-grandpa up only to discover that the skull (which was
conveniently in the casket with him) attracts more than a few undesirable types, the evillest
of which is great-grandpa's former partner-in-crime.
Filled with fake scares and bad '80s gags, this movie fails on nearly every level. Even the
totally hot girlfriend isn't that hot at all. It's like they thought that making a sequel just meant
easy money. About the only interesting thing about the movie (which was written and
directed by the writer of the first one) is that somewhere along the line they decided that
if the first had George Wendt, the second desperately needed John Ratzenberger. Hmm.
Does a cast-member of cheers really make a horror movie that much better? Okay, I'll
give you Bebe Neuwirth, but she's the exception.
As you might be able to tell, I really didn't care for this one. It was unfunny and really
pretty tedious. I suppose if you are some sort of weird completist, you'll want to see it,
but if you listen to me, you'll skip it.
Total Skulls: 18
Sequel | ||
Sequel setup | ||
Rips off earlier film | ||
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie | ||
Future celebrity appears | Bill Maher | |
Former celebrity appears | ||
Bad title | ||
Bad premise | ||
Bad acting | ||
Bad dialogue | ||
Bad execution | ||
MTV Editing | ||
OTS | ||
Girl unnecessarily gets naked | ||
Wanton sex | ||
Death associated with sex | ||
Unfulfilled promise of nudity | ||
Characters forget about threat | ||
Secluded location | ||
Power is cut | ||
Phone lines are cut | ||
Someone investigates a strange noise | ||
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door | ||
Camera is the killer | ||
Victims cower in front of a window/door | ||
Victim locks self in with killer | ||
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls | ||
Toilet stall scene | ||
Shower/bath scene | ||
Car stalls or won't start | ||
Cat jumps out | ||
Fake scare | ||
Laughable scare | ||
Stupid discovery of corpse | ||
Dream sequence | ||
Hallucination/Vision | ||
No one believes only witness | ||
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth | ||
Warning goes unheeded | ||
Music detracts from scene | ||
Death in first five minutes | ||
x years before/later | ||
Flashback sequence | ||
Dark and stormy night | ||
Killer doesn't stay dead | ||
Killer wears a mask | ||
Killer is in closet | ||
Killer is in car with victim | ||
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes | ||
Unscary villain/monster | ||
Beheading | ||
Blood fountain | ||
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc. | ||
Poor death effect | ||
Excessive gore | ||
No one dies at all | ||
Virgin survives | ||
Geek/Nerd survives | ||
Little kid lamely survives | ||
Dog/Pet miraculously survives | ||
Unresolved subplots | ||
"It was all a dream" ending | ||
Unbelievably happy ending | ||
Unbelievably crappy ending | ||
What the hell? |