House of Wax Year: 2005 Director: Jaume Collet-Serra Written by: Carey W. Hayes, Chad Hayes Threat: Evil Twins Weapon of Choice: Pipe IMDb page:

Other movies in this series:
none

Rish's Reviews
This film has a lot more in common with the classic cookie-cutter Slashers of the 1980's than the 1953 3-D film House of Wax, starring Vincent Price. And it's the better for it.
A bunch of attractive young friends (oh, and the geek), go on a road trip to see the big university football game. In the middle of nowhere, and after making enemies with some unseen sinister locals, their car "mysteriously" breaks down, and they go into a creepy, desolate town to get some help. The town's star attraction is a (literal) house of wax--a place you wouldn't want to spend the rest of eternity. But some of them just might.
Again, why don't they pay me to write video sleeve copy?
A lot was made of the fact that Paris Hilton was one of the stars and that she dies hard. So what's the problem?
The main protagonists and main antagonists are both twins. You wanna know something REALLY creepy? It was written by twins.
I LOVE the Eighties, and I love Slashers. While I didn't entirely love this film, it was loads of fun, and I really did enjoy it.
Elisha Cuthbert is ridiculously hot. That's neither a gripe nor a compliment, just stating the obvious. Cuthbert's boyfriend, however, has to be the nosiest character in movie history, going exploring in no less than THREE of the evil town's buildings (one of them while he knows that the owner is home). Definitely a "You stupid bitch, you deserve to die!" character, even if he was the wrong gender.
Another thing I enjoyed was Cuthbert trying to reason with the killer at the end. When she said, "Please, don't kill me," I thought, if I were that deformed killer (and really, who isn't?), I think I'd let her go.
I never could've predicted what happens to one of the character's fingers . . . wow, that I only saw in one other horror film ever. And I've seen one or two.
The final showdown, employing all the cash Warner Bros. and Dark Castle Entertainment could find, apparently, is a visual treat, and I admit I smiled like a farting baby throughout.
This was also like the Eighties Slashers in that it made each death scene a little showpiece, and offed each character in a new and creative way. Your gal Paris Hilton's death in particular is a lovely, disgusting thing.
Sadly, it ends on something of a wimpy note, but I had enough fun throughout to walk out satisfied, and won't even give it a Unbelievably Crappy Ending. Nope.
Best Scare: Wax statues are pretty scary, I think.
I'd Recommend It To: By the time this sees print, the flick will be out on video. Rent it.
Posted: October 25, 2005

The tyranist's thoughts
I've put off reviewing this one for far too long. I can still remember much of the movie in pretty vivid detail, which I suppose means the movie was at least somewhat good, but it also seems like I had a hard time caring about most of the characters and that when you really got down to it, the movie was pretty empty.
I'm not really a fan of the new pretty people. Most of them deserver far more loathing than they get. Paris Hilton, Chad Michael Murray. Elisha Cuthbert. They do most of nothing for me. Given a decent script and a movie that really understood that it was a slasher and didn't aspire to be anything more, I guess it turned out pretty well.
As a slasher it works really well. There are some good effects and the suspense is just about right. The sense of unstoppable evil works out pretty well too. I found myself liking the main character more than I expected to and that was nice.
The effects were the heart of this movie and they really do a very good job with them.
The movie is worth seeing and is better than a lot of the 21st century remakes of 20th century horror classics. Not that I've seen the original in this case. Chances are you've already seen this if you are going to.
Posted: August 1, 2006

Total Skulls: 20

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie		What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut
Someone investigates a strange noise
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc.
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending
What the hell?