I Married a Monster

Year: 1998

Director: Nancy Malone

Written by: Duane Poole

Threat: Alien

Weapon of Choice: Eye-Beams

Based upon: screenplay - I Married a Monster from Outer Space - Louis Vittes

IMDb page: IMDb link

      I Married a Monster

Other movies in this series:
None

Rish Outfield's reviews
This was like a long episode of "The New Outer Limits," only less serious. I thought it was a normal movie until I saw the first commercial fade out. But it was already too late. I had purchased a made for TV movie.
Pretty "Melrose Place" star Susan Walters is about to get married. An alien ship comes down and one of the beings replaces her fiancé. The doppleganger helps recruit others, but the bride gets suspicious and other stuff happens. I'm sleeping now.
So, it wasn't a great movie. So, it's not worth seeing. But I'm trying to think of something positive to say. Its special effects were pretty good (syndicated 90's sci-fi series quality, at least). Richard Herd is always cool. But this was an odd movie. Nothing felt real, as if everything were staged (I know it was just a movie so it was really all staged, but it felt like even the characters were conscious of it). It had stupid TV humour I thought we had outgrown in the 70's. There was some sappy stupid music thrown in along those same lines. Walters as the female lead was attractive, but I never felt for her character. She went from trusting to mistrusting to trusting, then to mistrusting again, and from happy to unhappy then back to happy and then unhappy again. Is ANYBODY like this? I mean, one day she's accusing her husband of being some kind of brainwashed imposter, the next she's planning outings they'll take with their grandchildren. Try a little consistency, folks.
I never felt there was a threat, never any danger, if anything, the people (and their reactions) were scarier than the aliens. In Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the telling sign of alienhood was someone's lack of personality and emotion. That's not the case here, not at all. In fact, the giveaway is that the aliens don't drink or smoke or run from commitment or cheat on their wives. . .of course, it's up to us to destroy them. The thing that was so garishly wrong about all this was that these creatures are clearly not evil, and they don't even kill the people they supplant. At the end, the husband replacement explains that they are the last of their species, and they just want to survive. Of course, they are ruthlessly exterminated. As asked in Darkman, who's the real monster here?
Best Scare: The creature on the cover looks nothing like that in the movie. It's scary they can get away with that.
I'd Recommend It To: Fans of lesser modern TV horror movies.
Note: I wasn't kidding about the Horror Film Showing--at one point, the husband turns on the television and watches a minute or so of the movie this is a remake of. If that doesn't inspire you to stay away, you're a lost cause.

The tyranist's thoughts
Well, then. I don't suppose there's really much to say on this one. It was a little made-for-TV flick that could have been way better and really for the most part reminded me more of Tommyknockers than anything else.
The cast was somewhat likeable until they turned alien. The setting was nice, but then I like small town America. The plot was a little thin at times and very predictable, but really in the end they only managed to achieve mediocrity. There just isn't much to this one.
I did like the thing with dogs, but then that's how they act around me all the time so maybe I just sympathised. Take it or leave it though. If you run across this one, and you like alien invasion stories you might get a kick out of this. Otherwise I'd say it isn't worth the time spent.

Total Skulls: 25

Sequel
Sequel setup skull
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie skull I Married a Monster from Outer Space
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears
Bad title skull
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue skull
Bad execution skull
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex skull
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat skullskull
Secluded location skull
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut skull
Someone investigates a strange noise skull
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene skull
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare skull
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
No one believes only witness skull
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth skull
Music detracts from scene skull
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later skull
Dark and stormy night skull
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask skull
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes skull
Unscary villain/monster skull
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood hits camera
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all skull
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives skull
Dog/Pet miraculously survives skull
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending skull
What the hell?