Rish Outfield's reviews
First of all, this won't be a perfect review (and the Skulls probably aren't that complete), as I found as I left the theater that someone had broken into my car. I had a lot on my mind (and plate as I tried to identify what was stolen and call the bank to cancel checks and such), so it was a couple of days before I thought to write anything down. Sorry.
Parts of it were very similar to Aliens, with the survivor from the first film being coerced into going back into the belly of the beast on a rescue operation. They find a kid who's been hiding and sneaking around. In fact, there was one scene (with dinosaurs in glass containers in a torn-up lab) that had to have been an homage (or a ripoff, depending on whether you liked it).
Sam Neill was back, and that was good. Laura Dern was also back (sort of). William H. Macy is the world's most likeable guy. And Tea Leoni seemed like a nice lady one time. And the velociraptors are back, smarter and more personable than before. There was one with growths on its head that totally reminded me of/ripped off Stripe in Gremlins, so the kids could recognize him. They gave them nobility, which really seemed like a Spielberg thing to do, and that sort of worked and sort of didn't. I'm afraid a more cynical viewer would lean toward the Didn't faction, where a kid might go the other way.
Spielberg knew from experience that the Tyrannosaurus Rex is the most popular, coolest of the dinosaurs, and he milked it as the sort of Hero Saur in his two films. This one, unfortunately, picks a new one, the meaner and smarter Spinosaur as its Hero Saur. That's too bad, because the Spinosaur is utterly charmless, a big ugly bastard who you just want dead (even its roar is inferior).
How do I sum up, after all this time? I guess I should say that the original "Jurassic" had all the magic. The second had . . . well, it had a T-Rex eat a dog, that was cool. This one had great effects (of course) and managed to show dinosaurs we hadn't seen in the other two installments (the pterodactyl stuff was pretty neat). But when this film worked, it WAS magical (I told my buddy they ought to make tons of these, like Fox did with Planet of the Apes), but when it didn't, it was hard to swallow. There was one completely silly, completely absurd detail that induced more groans than even the little girl fighting the velociraptor in "Lost World." Do you care if I tell you what it was? Well, one of the characters eaten by the Spinosaur had a satellite phone, and from the monster's stomach, it can be heard ringing, indicating the presence of the creature.
I'd Recommend It To: Oh, go ahead and see it. Like I said, these could go on forever.

Total Skulls: 10

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut
Someone investigates a strange noise
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood hits camera
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending
What the hell?