Rish Outfield's reviews
Tyranist recommended the film to me, so I had high expectations, but I guess I should have read his review first and tried to see it as a comedy. As it stands, I watched the first half of this film with a slight smile on my face. Unfortunately, the last half wasn't consistent, and in the last two reels, the movie turns into a gigantic pile of shite.
The main modern vampire was played by Casper Van Dien (who was also one of the producers), who's a notch above talentless, but I suppose he's handsome enough to get the job done. Natasha Gregson Wagner plays the semi-naive young bloodsucker and love interest. Robert Wagner's kid has an accent that comes and goes . . . my hatred for her (and attraction to her) comes and goes as well. Rod Steiger plays Doctor Van Helsing mostly for laughs, with his outrageous German accent and banal attitude towards the undead. Even though he was something of the comic foil who we're supposed to want to get cornholed in the end, I liked him most of all. Kim Cattrall, as a more cultured vampire, also has an exaggerated accent. She's pretty cool in this, and in just about everything she does. Robert Pastorelli is supposed to be Dracula, but whoever thought it would be funny to make him a big dumb jerk should be punished for his disrespect. The black guys are great, and really funny, if wholly offensive to the black community.
Parts of this movie are so stupid--just campy and the g-word as hell, but it's all done consciously, and I guess that makes it okay. I didn't understand the mini-montage sequences. I didn't understand the arbitrary lesbianism.
It had lots of nudity and animal sounds, neither of which I appreciated. The teeth look great, though. Danny Elfman's big brother hasn't directed many films in his twenty-something years as a filmmaker, but this is one I think he could have done without.

The tyranist's thoughts
Rish and I really dig on vampire movies. Well, I do. So when I saw this one sitting on the shelf, I had to rent it even if I had never heard of it before. Who cares if Casper Van Dien is a terrible actor? It's a vampire movie!
Well, I suppose I got lucky. This particular flick is directed by Richard Elfman (yes, he's Danny's brother) and turned out to be a vastly entertaining movie despite some poor performances. This movie is in the same league as Innocent Blood and Bordello of Blood for pure vampire entertainment value.
Casper Van Dien poorly plays Dallas, a vampire in exile from L.A., who has returned just in time to try to stop the Hollywood Slasher, a renegade vampire who is about to blow open the whole slick and easy vampire schtick. Dr. Van Helsing (Rod Steiger) also shows up and the party can begin. Now Count Dracula has a whole list of people to kill. Van Helsing recruits a small army (okay, 4 guys) from the Crips and mayhem naturally ensues.
As I've tried to point out, Casper Van Dien was disappointing in an otherwise almost great movie. He just can't act. Unfortunately, the leading lady was also poorly played by Natasha Wagner. If those two weren't on screen for 95% of the movie, then we could all sit back and enjoy the rest of the fine cast. Rod Steiger plays an interesting, Nazi oriented Van Helsing. Natasha Lyonne is as interesting as ever. And a personal favourite, Victor Togunde, played my favourite of the Crips.
All in all, Matthew Bright and Richard Elfman have constructed a vampire movie that is as fun as it is gory. They break some new ground with their vampire mythos. Things like telling a vampire's age by the length of his/her teeth and the fact that vampirism is an STD. Pretty playful stuff. This also features the funniest vampire death scene that I have ever seen (and that includes Paul Reuben's death in Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Okay, you might not find it funny, but I was laughing. Hard. I highly recommend this to all vampire movie fans and to those who love their comedies bloody.