Rish's Reviews
Oh no, I haven't seen Octopus 1, what do I do? Should I forge ahead anyway?
For you fine folks, I will.
Investigating pesky corpses that keep showing up in New York Harbor, Nick (Michael Reilly Burke) discovers that a giant octopus is responsible. It's increasingly difficult for him to bring the multi-armed killer to justice because nobody believes him, they won't close the harbor, and as turns out, the octopus has diplomatic immunity.
I have very little to say about this film. In my notes, I actually described the movie as "poopy." It's gotta be pretty bad for me to revert to a seven year old like that.
Was this made for TV? If it wasn't, the sucker had to have been rated PG. [tyranist: Rated R for some language according to the MPAA. Damn them.] I believe it was a Russian production shot in America, but it's hard to tell sometimes. The film begins rather triumphantly, with an absurd double killing before the credits have finished rolling. At that point, my prediction was: "This movie's gonna stink like week-old tuna fish." And it actually didn't. It wasn't any good, but it didn't usually sink below the firmly mediocre line.
The good: It occurs to me that I don't think I've ever seen a movie starring the New York City Harbor Patrol. The lead actors actually seem capable. The octopus actually looks pretty real when they use a rubber one. The CGI, however, is way lame. But you knew that, even without watching it.
It seems like there was a moment when the octopus attacks the Statue of Liberty, but one of the characters (or I when I dozed off) might have dreamed it. One major plotpoint is that the big 4th of July celebration will be ruined by letting people know about the danger in the waters. Oooh, I've never seen that before. And it really falls apart when it becomes a dull disaster film with an annoying coincidental accident that puts the one female character in danger.
Sure, the characters make obnoxious use of the word "octopi." And yes, in one infuriatingly stupid scene, an old woman menaced by the creature actually goes back for her dog FOUR times. Yup. But the movie didn't smell like rotting seafood. Which I believe is considered a compliment for a movie like this.
I'd Recommend It To: You know, if you actually want to see Octopus 2, nothing I could say will stop you.

The tyranist's thoughts
You know what isn't scary? A frog isn't scary. Frogs will never be scary. It's impossible. They just aren't menacing to me in any personal way. Birds can be scary. Rats can be scary. Even giant fake spiders can be scary. That kind of fear, I understand. It means something to me. But frogs will never be scary because I am unable to fear them no matter how big you make them, how menacing the music is, or how many people die because of them on the big screen.
And the same goes for an octopus. There's just no threat there.
Other than being entirely unthreatening, this movie is pretty middle of the road. I didn't find myself loathing it, but it wasn't really entertaining either. In fact, I kept checking the clock a lot. Rish would argue that I do that all the time anyway, but even he should admit that this one was just dull.
I didn't recognize any of the actors. The script was drab. The octopus was sort of cool in parts, but they went out of their way to make those scenes hard to follow. The setting seems genuine enough. I did wonder if seeing Octopus would have made any difference. But I doubt it. In fact, I sort of doubt that movie exists.
There's really no reason to see this movie. I'm not one to talk though. After Rish saw it and declared it pointless, I watched it anyway.