Sphere

Year: 1998

Director: Barry Levinson

Written by: Stephen Hauser, Paul Attanasio

Threat: Alien

Weapon of Choice: Thought

Based upon: novel - Sphere - Michael Crichton

IMDb page: IMDb link

      Sphere

Other movies in this series:
None

The tyranist's thoughts
Rish and I first caught this one in the theatre back in '98 at the top of a horrible water-logged double feature with Hard Rain on the bottom half. Unfortunately, the double-feature was self-inflicted since we just picked two movies we were interested in and went to both back to back. Fortunately, it was in the glory days when there was still a dollar-theatre four blocks from my apartment and the whole thing cost us a whopping two bucks each. The other neat thing about that theatre (and likely the reason it no longer exists) is that there might have been two other people in the theatre with us while we were watching those movies so we could complain as loudly as we liked.
Anyway, a crack team of scientists is hastily assembled when a cable-laying boat (insert your own joke here) stumbles across a spaceship. Naturally they have all kinds of problems (mental and physical) and ultimately, bad things happen.
When I told Rish that I was going to review this one he asked me if it was indeed Horror. The short answer is yes. The long answer is that in spite of the fact that it really isn't terribly scary (especially on the small screen) there are too many horror elements and sequences to ignore. Additionally, I've noticed that Mr. Crichton's movies are invariably labelled with the T-word and I like to dispel that myth as often as I can.
To be completely honest with you, there are long stretches of this movie that I really dig on. The effects are nice, the premise is top-notch and some of the suspense/scares are well done. What ruins the movie for me is the same thing that ruined the book for me, the ending. I hate it. To me this is the ultimate cop-out ending. I'm not going to spoil it for you since I know a number of people who really like it, but know that my reason for disliking the movie almost wholly lies at the end.
For sci-fi fans and Crichton fans in specific, this one is pretty good and you should probably at least check it out.

Total Skulls: 14

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location skullskull
Power is cut skull
Phone lines are cut skullskull
Someone investigates a strange noise skullskull
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door skull
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene skull
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse skull
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision skullskull
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc.
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending skull
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending skull
What the hell?