Other movies in this series:
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Rish's Reviews
Anybody remember Full Moon Pictures? In the late Eighties and early Nineties, they put out inexpensive, yet usually quite entertaining little horror films. I was a fan, and maybe you were too. Then they went away. I suspect that crap like this is why Full Moon went under.
Once again, we've an anthology, which I usually like. Tyranist and I actually rented this one together, but we were unable to see it together. I have no doubt that he thanks his lucky stars, deities, and four-leaf'd clovers every single day for getting out of it.
This was, honestly, one of the worst films I've seen for the site.
Tomb of Terror is a bad title today, but in the pre-Exorcist days, it was pretty typical. But the title has nothing on the movie itself.
On the positive side, it had a great title sequence (my notes actually had GREAT in all caps). It was produced independently, of course. Also, one of the segments starred Vincent Schiavelli and Jeffrey Combs.
On the negative side, everything else.
The first story was "Ascent From Hell," starring Angela Featherstone. It was lame, sort of a Little Mermaid story, only with a demon. It was much less sophisticated and mature, though. That's right, much less so than Disney's The Little Mermaid. It asks the cinematic question of What is life in Hell like? It did feature God-fearing, righteous demons, which I found unusual. Portions were really weird in a foreign, inexplicable way--and I'm tempted to believe they were meant to be funny. They weren't, but hey, I tried.
"Infinite Evil" was weak and fragmented. It would take real talent and effort to describe the "plot" of this film. It was Lovecraft-esque, but made almost no sense, being unbelievably badly directed and written. It totally reminded me of The Lurking Fear, which I saw back in 1998. Was it unfinished? Was it a sequel to Lurking Fear that they left unfinished?* The creatures were extremely well-designed, but I don't feel that had much to do with the writers and directors.
The third tale, "Eternal Damnation," was choppy and unsatisfying. It told of a European boys' school (without boys) that hides a lame--er, deadly secret. This one could've been okay, I think, if told better. The villain looked a lot like Uncle Fester . . . only less scary. He did tear boys' hearts from their chests, which I suppose says something. Though this tale had the most potential, its fragmented, incomplete nature prevented me from getting any pleasure out of it whatsoever.**
Tomb of Terror was so disjointed and badly edited that I had to ask myself: Could these three tales actually be three AWFUL feature films cut down to one-third their runtimes? A couple of years ago, I discovered a website that did a short story contest every couple of months. They would give the subject matter/inspiration, then you had to write a story that went with it. The catch was, the stories had to be 500 words or less.
You've no idea how short five hundred words is. Case in point: this review is 686 words long. So, I would try to write as short a story as I could, then I'd have to go back and edit the crap out of it to get it down to five hundred words. It made the stories, already trite and spineless, weaker than third-use teabags.
I suspect that may be what was going on here. I'll never know, though, ‘cause I don't care enough to do the research.
I'd Recommend It To: Nope, there ain't a soul I'd recommend it to.
Line To Remember: Dude: I don't know what you are, but she's in shock and I've gotta take her to the hospital!
Angel: She's going to Hell.
Dude: If they can help her, fine.
Note: Okay, I did the research. These were, indeed, originally full-length Full Moon films, butchered to make one dreadful anthology.
*Sadly, I found out that it WAS actually Lurking Fear. Sorry, kids.
**Even worse, this one was actually 1998's Talisman, which we've even reviewed on the site. Boy, my face is red.
Posted: April 5, 2006

Total Skulls: 23

Sequel
Sequel setup
Rips off earlier film
Horror film showing on TV/in theater in movie
Future celebrity appears
Former celebrity appears
Bad title
Bad premise
Bad acting
Bad dialogue
Bad execution
MTV Editing
OTS
Girl unnecessarily gets naked
Wanton sex
Death associated with sex
Unfulfilled promise of nudity
Characters forget about threat
Secluded location
Power is cut
Phone lines are cut
Someone investigates a strange noise
Someone runs up stairs instead of going out front door
Camera is the killer
Victims cower in front of a window/door
Victim locks self in with killer
Victim running from killer inexplicably falls
Toilet stall scene
Shower/bath scene
Car stalls or won't start
Cat jumps out
Fake scare
Laughable scare
Stupid discovery of corpse
Dream sequence
Hallucination/Vision
No one believes only witness
Crazy, drunk, old man knows the truth
Warning goes unheeded
Music detracts from scene
Death in first five minutes
x years before/later
Flashback sequence
Dark and stormy night
Killer doesn't stay dead
Killer wears a mask
Killer is in closet
Killer is in car with victim
Villain is more sympathetic than heroes
Unscary villain/monster
Beheading
Blood fountain
Blood spatters - camera, wall, etc.
Poor death effect
Excessive gore
No one dies at all
Virgin survives
Geek/Nerd survives
Little kid lamely survives
Dog/Pet miraculously survives
Unresolved subplots
"It was all a dream" ending
Unbelievably happy ending
Unbelievably crappy ending
What the hell?