Rish Outfield's reviews
Tyranist and I rent films for a couple of different reasons. Usually it's because it's a film with a story, a director, or an actor that we like. Sometimes it's because we have heard something good about a flick. Other times it's because it looks scary, or funny, or particularly mindless. The last one is the reason we checked out Witchcraft 5. Sometimes we just want to indulge in brainless viewing of something we know will be bad and assuredly visceral (either with violence or with nudity). (Again, for this one, it was the latter)
This was a simple and stupid film. An evil warlock tries to collect enough damned souls (using naked women in various ways to achieve this means) to bring the devil to earth. He uses this super-hot blonde chick (one of many throughout) to get a young warlock to do his bidding, and . . . Am I really describing all this to you? Many times the dialogue was laughably bad (includes the bumper sticker-ready line: "And if you serve me well . . . you may be chosen . . . to serve . . . Satan!"), and the special effects were cry-ably bad. But there was a lot of naked, gyrating flesh, and be honest, that's why you checked this one out. Isn't it? The plot was so thin many times I forgot what was supposed to be happening. It was all so rushed and amateurish and cheap, but, unlike the first Witchcraft (which had all those qualities), I kinda liked this one. And why not? It wasn't unspeakably bad. The women were attractive. I didn't go into looking for Halloween, or even Halloween 5, so I enjoyed the heaving bosoms and barely-memorized lines. And that hot blonde chick even had a little teeny character arc at the end.
I'd Recommend It To: People who like this kind of stuff. You know who you are.

The tyranist's thoughts
You know that you have seen a lot of horror movies when you walk down the aisle once, don't see anything that really grabs you and decide to rent a stack based on one common characteristic. Well, this one was picked up in a pile of hopefully dirty movies. We don't often go out of our way to try to find the movies with a ton of sex and nudity in them (if you doubt me, then perhaps you should read our reviews on Huntress: Spirit of the Night) but once in a while we look for them when we know we aren't going to agree on anything else. So we read the back of the box and if it sounds a little promising, we rent it. You see, we know that movies based around being dirty and a little porned up are almost always bad. People who rent these movies don't usually want to see a good scary movie, they just want to see a lot of naked people having sex. Well, sometimes that is exactly what we get. Sometimes we do a lot better. For instance, The Forgotten One and The Lair of the White Worm were both rented on the same evening as Witchcraft 5.
I guess I should be more blunt. If what you're after is just naked women, then rent this one. If you want a good horror film, rent something else. We will probably keep renting the Witchcraft movies on the off chance that one of them is really good, but know that you can pretty much expect something overly simple and pretty bland out of these.