tyranist: Hey.
RishOut: Hello. What are you doing right now?
tyranist: I'm just wasting time until lunchtime. I had a meeting scheduled from 11:00 to 12:00, but it only ended up taking about half an hour.
RishOut: So lunchtime is in fifteen minutes?
tyranist: Yes.
RishOut: Can we do our Year In Review?
tyranist: Yes. I think we can. Scale of 1 to 10: how much do you want to see BOURNE ULTIMATUM?
RishOut: 3.
tyranist: Wow.
RishOut: You gotta remember how much I disliked BOURNE 2.
tyranist: Ah, yes. Is it the same director?
RishOut: I don't know. You?
tyranist: 8, maybe 9
RishOut: Wow is right.
tyranist: It is the same director. Same writer too. Although it looks like Tom Stoppard has pitched in a rewrite on this one.
RishOut: How about that MESSENGERS movie that I suddenly want to see?
tyranist: I think that was written and directed by entirely different people.
tyranist: Has it opened?
RishOut: No. February.
tyranist: Any other horror opening soon? I mean, I know you don't want to see PRIMEVAL.
RishOut: What was that again?
tyranist: It's the one with the trailers claiming the worst serial killer in history killed over 300 people. Appears to be set in Africa.
RishOut: Right. I don't know, like a 4.
tyranist: I'd have said a 3.
RishOut: And MESSSENGERSS?
tyranist: I'm still probably at about a 5. You?
RishOut: I don't know . . . 7.
tyranist: Alright. I'm done eating. Shall we do our Year in Review?
RishOut:
That sounds good.
I know you're wondering why I've called you here today.
Yes, I just had to say it. Hello, folks. Welcome to 2007. It's a new year, with new
Horror possibilities, and, as tyranist and I do every year, it's a chance to look back at
last year and what (good and bad) came our way.
tyranist:
I'd say it was mostly bad, but I think that, for once, it wasn't such a bad year.
Maybe we just missed all the bad ones.
RishOut: You thought 2006 was mostly bad, overall, or just as far as Horror was concerned?
tyranist:
Just as far as horror was concerned. Although I wouldn't know much about the rest of
it. Most of what I watched this year was horror.
I probably watched more horror films this year than I have since Rish up and left for Los
Angeles, and while I was so focused on horror, I somehow missed out on most everything
else.
RishOut: I, too, watched more Horror this year than last year. Being around you made it much more fun, and I was more willing to get out and see things like AMERICAN HAUNTING and SAW III because we were together.
tyranist:
It sure makes some of the lesser offerings more tolerable.
Seeing them alone would have been painful.
RishOut:
Unfortunately, most of what I saw this year wasn't absolutely terrible or absolutely fantastic.
There wasn't a clear-cut best horror flick this year. At least none are coming to mind.
tyranist: I have two in mind that I liked a lot more than the others, but they are pretty even.
RishOut:
Well, that's not true, a couple of installments of "Masters of Horror" jump instantly to
mind, being miles beyond the films released to theatres this year. And I would certainly
cite them here, except for the irriating fact that they were released at the end of 2005,
and shouldn't qualify for Best of 2006 status.
Or should they?
tyranist:
Traditionally we've put the copyright date as the date of the film rather than the release
date. It gets more than a bit sticky figuring out the release date when there are so many
limited releases that never make it here.
But for any movie that we couldn't possibly see until 2006, perhaps we should allow them
for the HFC Horror Film Awards.
RishOut: Alright, I think I'll go ahead and cite them.
tyranist: Fair enough, but remember, that still only qualifies 5 of the 13 episodes from Masters of Horror season 1.
RishOut: What? I just said I'd go ahead and cite them.
tyranist: All of them? Or just those films that have a copyright earlier than 2006, but that we couldn't see until 2006?
RishOut:
I don't know, I was just going to lump all "Masters of Horror" season 1 in for this year
and all "MoH" season 2 for next year.
Can I do that?
tyranist: I don't know. I kind of like clearly defined terms and that blurs them in my mind.
RishOut:
Hmmm. Okay, but that will make my decisions harder.
Which five were okay for 2006?
tyranist:
Fair Haired Child
Sick Girl
Pick Me Up
Haeckel's Tale
Imprint
Those were all aired in January (expect IMPRINT, of course).
RishOut: Okay.
tyranist: But this should also add HOSTEL to the list. Wasn't there another one like that?
RishOut:
The Tooth Fairy (released August 8th)
The Descent (released August 4th)
tyranist:
Alright. That makes at least my top 5 easier.
With those films in the mix, the complexion of 2006 changes a bit. It doesn't seem quite
as bland anymore.
RishOut: No comment.
tyranist: Alright, are we ready to begin the awards?
RishOut: Yes.
tyranist: First up is Best Picture.
tyranist: For me, it was FEAST. For most of the year I would have told you SLITHER, but when it came down to just those two, FEAST has the edge in both the gore and scares department.
RishOut:
Interesting choice.
I've thought about it a lot, and I'm going to have to pick HOSTEL. I heard so much
(negative) about it that I avoided seeing it the theatre, and when I saw it with you, I just
loved it. It was scary, it was gory, it had hot chicks, and it was not something I had seen
before.
tyranist: Except in its earlier incarnation as EUROTRIP, of course.
RishOut: Whoops. You got me.
tyranist:
Still, a nice choice.
Next award is for the Scariest Picture.
RishOut: Scariest.
tyranist: This is a tough one for me. There weren't a lot of really scary movies. AN AMERICAN HAUNTING might have done it if the ending hadn't been so bad it made me forget all of the scares. I think I'm going to have to go with HOSTEL, here. The situation was so desperate and so difficult that every scare was effective.
RishOut: I had to go back and fourth between THE GRUDGE 2 (really scary Japanese ghosts) and THE DESCENT (dark caves and cannibalistic humanoids). I chose THE DESCENT. It was a better movie, and I cared more about the characters.
tyranist:
Ah, yes, THE DESCENT had some truly frightening moments.
The Goriest Picture.
RishOut: Easy.
tyranist: I'm not as sure.
RishOut: Oh, for me, it's gotta be IMPRINT, from the "Masters of Horror" series. Though we saw some seriously violent films in 2006, like HOSTEL and SAW III, nothing, and I mean NOTHING comes close to IMPRINT. The film was vile beyond description.
tyranist:
I thought IMPRINT was vile and physically painful to watch, but FEAST had some truly
spectacular gore in it. I shall go with the film that I am unlikely to ever watch again partially
because it was so difficult and say IMPRINT.
So, the next category is Worst Picture.
RishOut: This too was hard for me.
tyranist:
While most things were really just mediocre than flat out bad, there were two flicks
that stood out to me as being just awful: I'LL ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU DID
LAST SUMMER and THE GARDEN.
In the end, I went with THE GARDEN, just because it was so purposeless and so
worthless.
RishOut: The two I was thinking about we haven't even reviewed yet. Of the two, I'd say SCARY MOVIE 4 was worse, since the last one (the third) was so darn good, and it was so very long ago.
tyranist:
SCARY MOVIE 4 was awful.
And what about LEFT IN DARKNESS?
RishOut: I didn't think of that one.
tyranist: Alright. Last on the list are the top 5's.
RishOut:
Since I basically threw a fit and said I would be listing "Masters of Horror" from the end
of last year on my list, mine goes something like this:
Jenifer
Cigarette Burns
Hostel
Feast
Deer Woman
tyranist:
Nice. I stayed mostly away from Masters of Horror in favor of silver screen flicks.
1 Feast
2 Slither
3 The Descent
4 Hostel
5 Deer Woman
RishOut: And, as I warned you I would, I submit a new category for this Year's End Review: "Movie They Couldn't Drag Me To."
tyranist: Ah, yes.
RishOut: For me, that would be THE COVENANT.
tyranist: And for me, that would have to have been THE HILLS HAVE EYES.
RishOut: Really. I sort of still want to see that one.
tyranist:
And I sort of want to see THE COVENANT.
I guess we know who'll be taking the bullets on those two.
RishOut:
Sick.
Well, I realize you have to go, so we'll call this a day. I do hope 2007 is kinder to me,
er--us, than 2006 was.
tyranist: Well, 2006 was an interesting year, if just because we managed to see so much horror together.
RishOut: Let's keep it up in 2007.